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Tracey Suntan-King |
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Tracey Suntan-King World Chat Champion
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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bamt |
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bamt World Chat Champion
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ride_to_die |
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ride_to_die Crazy Courier
Joined: 13 Nov 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 13:58 - 13 Jun 2017 Post subject: |
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A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the
Afghanistan Desert . During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, 'Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the base and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have 'urges'.
That's why we have Molly The Camel.'
The Captain says, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about 'urges', so the camel can stay.'
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'. Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel. When he's done, he asks the Sergeant,'Is that how the men do it?'
'Not really, sir, they usually just ride the camel into town... where the girls are.' ____________________ I'm not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time. |
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ride_to_die |
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ride_to_die Crazy Courier
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bamt |
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bamt World Chat Champion
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Howling Terror |
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Howling Terror Super Spammer
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andyscooter |
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andyscooter World Chat Champion
Joined: 30 May 2009 Karma :
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Posted: 09:31 - 17 Jun 2017 Post subject: |
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little billy was asked in class what sentence he could use with the word contagious
he replied
my neighbour was going to paint his house with a 1 inch paintbrush
dad said its going to take the contagious ____________________ gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet |
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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Posted: 21:48 - 17 Jun 2017 Post subject: |
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English, huh?
A: Hello, are you there?
B: Yes, who are you, please?
A: I'm Watt.
B: What's your name?
A: Watt's my name.
B: Yes, what's your name?
A: My name is John Watt.
B: John what?
A: Yes, are you Jones?
B: No, I'm Knott.
A: Will you tell me your name then?
B: Will, Knott.
A: Why not?
B: My name is Knott.
A: Not what?
B: Not Watt, Knott.
A: What? ____________________ '87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor |
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha |
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha World Chat Champion
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Tracey Suntan-King |
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Tracey Suntan-King World Chat Champion
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andym |
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andym World Chat Champion
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owl |
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owl World Chat Champion
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Tracey Suntan-King |
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Tracey Suntan-King World Chat Champion
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Posted: 09:30 - 23 Jun 2017 Post subject: |
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In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer
was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring
colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual
courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches, etc.) which protocol
decrees, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant,
Captain Smithers, he's my right-hand man and is really the strength
of this office. His talent is simply boundless".
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was
surprised to meet a hunchbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless,
scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly
unattractive man less than three feet tall."
Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
''Well, sir, I played cricket for England, graduated with honours from
Sandhurst, won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions
behind enemy lines. I've represented Great Britain in equestrian
events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight boxing division
of the Olympics. I have researched the history of . . . "
At that point, the colonel interrupted.
"Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, he can find all that in your file.
Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to f*ck off." ____________________ Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right |
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RhynoCZ |
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RhynoCZ Super Spammer
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ScaredyCat |
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ScaredyCat World Chat Champion
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Posted: 15:13 - 28 Jun 2017 Post subject: |
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A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest:
"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner: "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's'."
Soon, another man enters the confessional.
"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks: "Who is this Fannie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the mens' eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.
The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.
The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks: "Is that Fannie Green?"
The altar boy replies: "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes". ____________________ Honda CBF125 ➝ NC700X
Honda CBF125 ↳ Speed Triple |
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recman |
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recman World Chat Champion
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 6 years, 301 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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