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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 17:52 - 26 Apr 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

People are usually shocked, when they find out that I'm not a very good electrician.
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Pete.
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PostPosted: 18:11 - 26 Apr 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

What shape cage did the parrot escape from?

Polygon!
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 21:36 - 26 Apr 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know why you don't see any advertising on the Hulk in movies.
He's basically a giant banner.
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 13:48 - 29 Apr 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I ain't farking larfing, Nickle Arse....
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 08:03 - 27 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.
Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
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King29
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Joined: 18 Oct 2017
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PostPosted: 10:44 - 27 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

(Geordie accent joke).

General Custer at the final battle hears the beat of Indian drums coming towards him, he turns to the young Geordie soldier beside him and says "They've got war drums", the young Geordie replies "The thieving bastards!"
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 14:06 - 27 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
(Geordie accent joke).

General Custer at the final battle hears the beat of Indian drums coming towards him, he turns to the young Geordie soldier beside him and says "They've got war drums", the young Geordie replies "The thieving bastards!"


We need a " Thumbs Up mildly amusing" karma rating Smile
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King29
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PostPosted: 14:48 - 27 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?


One's a marsupial, the other is a Geordie stuck in a lift.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:52 - 27 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know a great joke about time traveling,

but you didn't like it.
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 13:44 - 28 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve fundamental particles here.'

A tachyon walks into a bar.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 14:47 - 28 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

bhinso wrote:
The barman says 'Sorry we don't serve fundamental particles here.'

A tachyon walks into a bar.


I theorised what you are going to do there.
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Old Git Racing
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Joined: 08 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: 23:21 - 31 May 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't wear Ukranian underpants, they are dangerous cos chernobyll fallout
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MCN
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PostPosted: 06:07 - 01 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Old Git Racing wrote:
Don't wear Ukranian underpants, they are dangerous cos chernobyll fallout


Repost.
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Hong Kong Phooey
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Joined: 30 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: 11:30 - 01 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

MCN wrote:
Old Git Racing wrote:
Don't wear Ukranian underpants, they are dangerous cos chernobyll fallout


Repost.


Ok...

Old Git Racing wrote:
Don't wear Ukranian underpants, they are dangerous cos chernobyll fallout

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King29
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PostPosted: 23:01 - 01 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you call a Russian prostitute? GERRONYABACKYABITCH

What do you call a Russian with 3 balls? WHODYANICKABOLLOCKOFF
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MCN
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PostPosted: 03:46 - 02 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
What do you call a Russian prostitute? GERRONYABACKYABITCH

What do you call a Russian with 3 balls? WHODYANICKABOLLOCKOFF


Russian word for STD?

Roticokoff.

Russian hooker?

Eva Nikerszov.

Indian karaoke star from Glasgow?
Gupti Sing.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 11:55 - 08 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never understood school shooting jokes.


I guess they are aimed at a younger audience...
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recman
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PostPosted: 12:44 - 08 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?

It would be a nightmare dragging a buggy up a tree.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 17:27 - 24 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heisenberg is blasting along in his BMW, when he is pulled over by the police.
The officer says to him, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?"
To which Heisenberg replies, "No officer, but I can tell you exactly where I was."

The policeman then says, "Sir, you were doing 147mph."
Heisenberg suddenly looks shocked, and says, "Oh no, now I'm lost!"
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 14:50 - 26 Jun 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are two types of people. one can extrapolate information from incomplete data.
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Raffles
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PostPosted: 20:54 - 01 Jul 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

As a young Muslim boy got into the car, he asked, "Mummy, why does Daddy always drive?"

"Because I'm not old enough yet," she replied.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:18 - 01 Jul 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 16:17 - 15 Jul 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was in a cake shop last week and I said to the shopkeeper,

“Those two cakes are the same but ones £1 & the other is £2, why’s that”

He replied “That’s madeira cake”
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:43 - 17 Jul 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A wife and her husband lie in their bed...
Woman: "I can't sleep."
Man: "Makes sense, evil never sleeps."
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 21:47 - 17 Jul 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://i.imgur.com/bqUV478.jpg
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 4 years, 256 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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