A Joke A Day

[bhinso]

dass nearly as rasis as Bulgarians.

[Raffles]

A Swedish woman, two Swedish men, and another Swedish woman walk into ABBA.....
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[King29]

I'm so glad I didn't post my Jim'll fix it letter when I was a child..
..it said "Dear Jim please could you fix it for me to walk like John Wayne

[pinkyfloyd]

Mary's lamb had foot n mouth
The vet he came and shot it
But Marys father got there first
And now her mothers got it

Or my personal favourite

Mary had a little lamb
It's eyes were as black as coal
It crept into her room one night
And ate her fucking soul!
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illuminateTHEmind wrote: I am just more evolved than most of you guys... this allows me to pick of things quickly which would have normally taken the common man years to master
Hockeystorm65:.well there are childish arguments...there are very childish arguments.....there are really stupid childish arguments and now there are......Pinkfloyd arguments!
Teflon-Mike:I think I agree with just about all Pinky has said.

[RhynoCZ]

What's the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[King29]

Following both Belfast and Liverpool naming their respective airports after one of their most famous sons (IE George Best and John Lennon), from today Leeds/Bradford airport will be known as "Peter Sutcliffe International" and Luton airport will simply be known as "Mohammed".

[RhynoCZ]

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[RhynoCZ]

James went to donate blood today, but he had to run. They had too many questions, such as "Whose blood is this?", "Why is there so much of it?", "Why did you bring it in a bucket?"...
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Fisty]

I went to get a takeaway today, ordered egg fried rice, sweet and sour pork.
The guy behind the counter poured it all into a bag.
I asked what he was doing that for??
He said....

"Well we can't put Chinese in containers anymore"

Edited for Raffles.
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Quietly and consistently taking the piss.
TL1000R | Hayabusa | ZXR400 | TL1000S | Bandit 400 V
Fatter and faster than Fret

[King29]

I once had a go at building my own motorcycle.

It was a Triumph.

[Easy-X]

Fecking disgusting, people letting off fireworks already. It's not even Halloween yet!

My poor dog is scared stiff and is hiding under the Christmas tree
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[Hawkeye1250FA]

Mary had a little lamb - full of fun and frollick.
It tried to jump a 5 bar fence.

And landed on its ..... feet.
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1993 RF400R - 2002 Bandit 1200 - 2012 1250 FA

[MCN]

[Nobby the Bastard]

[King29]

Heard a great new song earlier...
Zwei, Veir, Sechs, Acht Autobahn by
Tommy Robinson Band.

[RhynoCZ]

The website said my password is not complex enough so I changed it to √-1
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

Electricity is a wonderful thing.
Do you realise that if we didn’t have electricity we’d be watching television by candle light?
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[bhinso]

[RhynoCZ]

[AldridgePrior]

I had the best fantasy hardcore sex of my life last night with my sexy blonde girlfriend and my two Golden Retrievers.

Haha Only joking I haven't even got a girlfriend.

[RhynoCZ]

[WreckTangle]

My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike!!
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My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0-100 in under 5 seconds for her birthday. ......................I got her a bathroom scale.

[RhynoCZ]

Johny runs to his mother crying...
"What happened to you?!" His mother asked worriedly.
"Dad slammed his thumb with a hammer." He replied.
"So why are you crying?" She asked.
"Well, originally I was laughing ..."
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[WreckTangle]

I hate those e-mails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I got ten just the other day. Eight of them from my girlfriend. It's the two from my Mum that really hurt
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My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0-100 in under 5 seconds for her birthday. ......................I got her a bathroom scale.

[MCN]