A Joke A Day

[AldridgePrior]

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred last night when a small 6 seater aircraft crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 687 bodies so far but they expect that figure to climb as digging continues into the night.

[MCN]

The time travelling comedian.

🙄
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Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.

[mentalboy]

Everybody is Kung flu fighting...
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Make mine a Corona.

[King29]

If Madness had come from Liverpool.

"I like driving in your car"

[King29]

BBC News:

"Broadcaster Nicholas Parsons passes away aged 96"

Liverpool Echo:

"Broadcaster Nicholas Parsons passes away aged 96 ... Speaking of the 96 .....

[Howling Terror]

I always go the extra mile.
The restraining order means I have to.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[bhinso]

What's got two wings and an arrow?


A chinese telephone.

[pepperami]

[MCN]

[Sister Sledge]

Nope. I still don't get it. Someone needs to explain it to me clearly and slowly. I still might not get it at the end though.
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CCM 404 DS

[King29]

[MCN]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Congratulations to Hugh Zappritti-Boyden, on his new role as chairman of the British Budgerigar Association.
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[MCN]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I’ve just fixed the horn on the scout's minibus.

Beep repaired.
____________________
Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[chickenstrip]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

[Nobby the Bastard]

[MCN]

[RhynoCZ]

Lifting weights definitely changed my life. I dropped 25 pounds. Right on my foot, now I can hardly walk.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Sister Sledge]

Did you break some bones?
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CCM 404 DS

[hedgehugger]

[WreckTangle]

when I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa..............Not screaming.......like the people in his car.........


(I will be going to hell because of this)
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My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0-100 in under 5 seconds for her birthday. ......................I got her a bathroom scale.

[bhinso]

lol fail.

I'm pretty sure that jokes already been on here, plus you didn't word it right either.

[WreckTangle]