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Peanut_Butter
Nova Slayer



Joined: 11 Feb 2020
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PostPosted: 19:33 - 30 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not even a smile? Laughing
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bhinso
World Chat Champion



Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 16:11 - 31 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

2020 will go down as the year in which your Wheelie Bin went out more than you did.
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BigTim
Trackday Trickster



Joined: 29 Sep 2017
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PostPosted: 20:17 - 31 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:


He had a coronal mass ejaculation.


was playing watch the tranny on University challenge the other night and this was the answer to a question.
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Peanut_Butter
Nova Slayer



Joined: 11 Feb 2020
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PostPosted: 12:26 - 01 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why can't you have beef stew as a password?





Because it's not stroganoff Laughing Cool
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hedgehugger
World Chat Champion



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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PostPosted: 12:36 - 01 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Peanut_Butter wrote:
Why can't you have beef stew as a password?





Because it's not stroganoff Laughing Cool


I told my OH that one, he gave me 'that look'. Smile
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 15:34 - 01 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://media.tenor.com/images/d73f99d0fa9437ba0a2f653af4ad83cf/tenor.gif
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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bhinso
World Chat Champion



Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 15:59 - 01 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

R Kelly has tested positive for SHESNOT-19
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 10:29 - 05 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Audio required.

https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aj5pnoG_460sv.mp4
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Tracey Suntan-King
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 14:24 - 10 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I ordered some German food off the internet; the sauerkraut has arrived but the wurst is yet to come.
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right
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Just_James
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 29 Aug 2014
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 10 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Although ice cream vans are involved in very few road traffic accidents, they do still account for the loss of hundreds and thousands
____________________
Current Bikes / Projects: 1999 Rieju RS1 50
Previous bikes - 1986 DT125R (field bike), 1989 KX250, 1980 KX420 (with 500cc big bore), 1992 YZ250, 1988 KX500, 1989 XR250R, 1988 VFR400R NC24, 1999 Cagiva Mito 125, 2008 Rieju RS2 50 , 1993 Honda NSR 125
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Just_James
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 29 Aug 2014
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PostPosted: 00:02 - 11 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Police were called to reports of a body of a man found in the local park today, he was covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds and thousands.

They aren't treating the death as suspicious, he'd clearly topped himself.
____________________
Current Bikes / Projects: 1999 Rieju RS1 50
Previous bikes - 1986 DT125R (field bike), 1989 KX250, 1980 KX420 (with 500cc big bore), 1992 YZ250, 1988 KX500, 1989 XR250R, 1988 VFR400R NC24, 1999 Cagiva Mito 125, 2008 Rieju RS2 50 , 1993 Honda NSR 125
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kawashima
World Chat Champion



Joined: 03 May 2005
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PostPosted: 08:50 - 12 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I heard "diddley" means "a little". So this came up to my mind.
Daisy ridley was diddley lazy yesterday.
- - -
I heard the phrase of "your humble servant" and thought it cool, and decided to add it at the end of email to overseas.
But I mismemorised it and was using "your fumble servant" for nearly six months Embarassed
____________________
2020 Touring Serow 250
,past 2012 YB125SP, 2008 TDM900 2005 W650, [url=d], 2002 LS125R, 2002 CB400SF, NS50F, C50 / Trip to UK(2009), Hokkaido touring(2013)
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 10:24 - 12 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

*knock, knock
> Who's there?
< The repo man.
> We're not home!
< No, you are not.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Tracey Suntan-King
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 11:11 - 25 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I missed John McCrirrick's funeral.

Nobody to me it was at 10/1
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 14:17 - 27 Apr 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any joke can be funny with good delivery.

Except abortion jokes, there's no delivery.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 12 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It's not hard!
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 21:34 - 12 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you end an argument of two deaf people?

You turn the light off.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
Super Spammer



Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 21:34 - 12 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

If smoking is so bad, why does it cure salmon? Thinking
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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bhinso
World Chat Champion



Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 21:24 - 01 Jun 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man comes out of his son's bedroom after a furious row.

He says to his wife 'God I wish we'd used a condom'.

Horrified, she exclaims 'What! You wish he hadn't been born?"

He replies 'No, I've just gotten his girlfriend pregnant.'
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Raffles
World Chat Champion



Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: 20:11 - 27 Jun 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liverpool police chief outside Anfield: ''These scenes are disgraceful. I'm not putting up with this every 30 years''
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A good loser will always be a loser.
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Howling Terror
Super Spammer



Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 14:18 - 09 Aug 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mate Dave can bend his willy under and self-shag.
He was so full of himself when he told me.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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bhinso
World Chat Champion



Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 21:14 - 10 Aug 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ceaser goes into a bar and says "Can I have a Martinus?"

Bartender says "Don't you mean a Martini?"

Ceaser says "If I wanted two I would have asked for two."
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recman
World Chat Champion



Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 10 Aug 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A nonce is walking through some dark, spooky woods with a child.
The child looks up at him and says, "I'm scared".
"You're scared?", says the nonce, "I've gotta walk back on my own!".
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Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: 22:23 - 20 Sep 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh dear, I've been teaching jokes to nobby's four year old. Angelic

Why did the kitten cross the road?
Because it was Tuesday!!!

Why did the puppy cross the road?
Because it was Wednesday!!!

Why did your daddy cross the road?
He didn't because he's really really old.

It's going to be at least a couple years until he realises the uselessness of the jokes I've been teaching him and until then, they're really really funny. Laughing
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MCN
Super Spammer



Joined: 22 Jul 2015
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PostPosted: 23:10 - 20 Sep 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants coming over the hill?

"Oh look, here come the elephants."

What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?

Nothing, he didn't recognise them with their sunglasses on.
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Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 3 years, 189 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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