A Joke A Day

[Riejufixing]

[RhynoCZ]

In Ikea:
"Excuse me, is this cupboard gonna fit in the boot of my car?"

"What car do you have?"

"A green one."

"It won't ..."
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[RhynoCZ]

The cab driver: I'm sorry for the stink of the disinfection solution. The passenger: Nah, no worries. I couldn't smell a thing for the past few days anyway.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[FlemUrch]

My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

[recman]

Bad news for dyslexics on October 28th.
Your cocks go black.

[Keithy]

I have found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.


It’s shift work.

[DaveTheRave5]

fart bike lol

[Keithy]

Bought my partner some lesbian trainers for Christmas.

They have an extra long tongue and you can get them off with one finger.

[RhynoCZ]

Communism won't work. There are too many red flags.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Howling Terror]

When my gran turned 60 she started walking 5 miles every day.

She's 64 now and we haven't a bloody clue where she is.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[chickenstrip]

[Howling Terror]

Just got back from a friend's funeral who drowned last week.
I got a lot of abuse from his relatives about my floral tribute in the shape of a lifejacket.
But as I told everyone 'It's what he would've wanted'.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project

[RhynoCZ]

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Skudd]

[bhinso]

I'd tell you a Coronavirus vaccine joke.

But there's a small chance that after a few years you would get it and die, as would 99.99% of the population who also got it, thereby triggering a global apocalypse

[RhynoCZ]

My girlfriend started smoking.
So I slowed down and applied lubricant.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[chickenstrip]

Velcro. What a rip off.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!

[RhynoCZ]

It's already 2021 in New Zealand. That's what happens when you have Prime Minister who knows what she's doing. UK lagging behind again.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Whoever lost an iPhone 12 outside the Co-Op, can you stop ringing my new phone?
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Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Keithy]

A farmer discovers his cows are frozen in a 4 foot snow drift, “Lord help me what shall I do?!” he exclaims.

A lady appears by his side and says “Hang on lad, I’ll see what I can do”. She waves her arms and in a matter of seconds the snow is melting and the cows are mooing once more.

“Are you an angel sent to help me?” asks the farmer.

“No lad, I”m Thora Herd”

[Easy-X]

[The Shaggy D.A.]

I tried donating blood today - never again! Too many stupid questions.

Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
____________________
Chances are quite high you are not in my Monkeysphere, and I don't care about you. Don't take it personally.
Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5

[Hong Kong Phooey]

Haime, lies on his deathbed with his wife Becky by his side.

He looks to Becky and says "Many years ago Becky we were in Germany when the war began. Becky, you were by my side.

The Germans came and take us to their camps. Becky, you were by my side.

We leave Germany after the war and we come to London and we have very little money. Becky, you were by my side.

We buy the jewelers shop and we have some bad times, we were beaten and robbed. Becky, you were by my side.

We were there for many years but sadly we lose the shop. Becky, you were by my side.

We lose our house and Becky, you were still by my side.

We have many, many bad times and Becky, you are always there, right by my side.

And here I am. I have the cancer and I am dying and Becky, once again, you are by my side.

Becky, you are a fucking jinx."
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'81 CG125, '97 FZS600 : '99 CBR600F4, '09 KTM RC8

[panrider_uk]

Very sad news this morning. My girlfriend has broken up with me after finding out i only have nine toes.

She is lack toes intolerant.
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Current bike: Honda ST1100

[King29]

Diarrhoea Awareness week next week

Starts Monday, runs til Friday