I just saved the day.

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

Sitting in the front room, consuming my morning coffee while watching the morning propaganda when I hear a large smash outside.

Thinking something had fallen off the roof, landed on the car and smashed the windscreen I take a look only to see a fuck ton of broken glass outside next door's house.

https://i.imgur.com/kqXjLeE.jpg

Trainers on, belt on, jacket on, go outside to see what's going on.

I hear the young mother of 2 very young children screaming and shouting at her now ex-bloke. She shouting for him to get out and crying.

I bounce back into my house and grab the spare zxr400 fork leg and run towards the sound of gun fire.

Boot the door in, point the fork leg at the bloke's head and say "if you dont get the fuck out of the house I will stove your fucking head in."

The neighbour on the the other side of this is joining in and grabs the guy and drags him out.

The girl gets taken in to the neighbours on the other side while ive got the bloke cornered and I'm on the phone to the police.

Bloke starts walking towards me while I'm on the phone.
"Stand the fuck there. If you come any closer I will fucking do you"
Police phone person hears this and says "Get back in your house"
I pretend to go back in.
Bloke scarpers off down the road, I'm giving a description of what he's wearing to the phone copper.

I stash the fork leg back in my house.
Police turn up, take details and stories. No-one mentions the fork leg Very Happy

https://i.imgur.com/8pP2lzLl.jpg

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

CS, B.
https://cdn.thatsnerdalicious.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/cool-story-bro.jpg?313ab3
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

Eddie Hitler · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 Nov 2007 Karma :

Iain. · Could Be A Chat Bot Joined: 04 Dec 2014 Karma :

https://jptribe.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/princess_luna_we__re_not_worthy_by_grumbeerkopp-d4q9z6k.png

Nice one.

stinkwheel · Bovine Proctologist Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Monkeypony · World Chat Champion Joined: 21 Sep 2011 Karma :

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

I should have made it clear that I was already wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

MarJay · But it's British! Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :

Except now it's on the internet for the Polizei to see.

You also disobeyed survival rule number 1. Never get involved in domestics. you're lucky they both didn't immediately turn on you.
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

bugeye_bob · World Chat Champion Joined: 05 Sep 2013 Karma :

This thread is useless without pics of Damsel in distress

covent.gardens · World Clap Champion Joined: 09 Jun 2012 Karma :

Chinaboy · World Chat Champion Joined: 14 Jan 2007 Karma :

I think go round, doos Gary, tits and then JK Thumbs Up

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

CaNsA · Super Spammer Joined: 02 Jan 2008 Karma :

RE8ELD0G · Renault 5 Driver Joined: 24 Oct 2014 Karma :

Good work batman.
Nothing i hate more than cowardly woman or child beaters.

Nearly got nicked myself a few years ago for dropping a dad at a bus stop after watching him deck his 3yo girl for ........wait for it.........asking to go to the toilet....???
____________________
Its a fine line between an cuddle.......
And holding her down so she cant get away..!!!
Honda Varadero XL 125

Dalemac · World Chat Champion Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Karma :

Which snapped first, the fork leg or his head?
____________________
~~YBR125~~ -> GPZ500S -> SL1000

Rogerborg · nimbA Joined: 26 Oct 2010 Karma :

When I was picking up MiniMarm and you said "Sit where you can keep an eye on your bike", you weren't being in the least hyperbolic, were you?

Manage to pocket anything worthwhile while you were in there? Whistle

____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

weasley · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Oct 2010 Karma :

CaNsA is Bodyguard??! Shocked

____________________
~~Yamaha XJ600 | Yamaha YZF600R Thundercat | KTM 990 SMT~~ | BMW F900XR TE

RhynoCZ · Super Spammer Joined: 09 Mar 2012 Karma :

bikertomm · World Chat Champion Joined: 03 Jul 2010 Karma :

What really happened is, he saw Cansa's BCF tattoo and crumbled with fear of the internetz.
____________________
07' Honda Hornet now full powaah! My guide on performing an oil change!

WULFSTAN · World Chat Champion Joined: 18 Sep 2010 Karma :

Well done

Shame that 99% of the time they always get back together and will more that likely happen again and again and again.
____________________
Your backside is better enough for you to run again, if need be – bristle up the courage of the cornered rat, put on a bold front, and to hell with them. Bluff my boy – bluff, shift and lie for the sake of your neck and the honour of Old England