I'm gobsmacked!

MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

Just found out my sister is 5 and a half months pregnant!! She only found out herself yesterday, weird cos she's not even showing! The bloke is someone who had a 1 nighter with her and dont wanna know anymore. Now she has 3 choices:

1) Keep the baby

2) Give birth but put baby up 4 adoption

3) Have an abortion... but as she is 22 weeks gone, she'd have to basically give birth to a 'dead' baby

I'm just shellshocked. I don't know what to say or do Shocked

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

Well if she doesn't want it I would say adoption is the best bet, the baby is too far now IMO to have it killed. Smile

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MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

this si the thing... she couldnt bear to have it adopted, but she knows she could cope if she kept it. But she couldnt go thru with the adoption as she couldnt give birth to a 'dead' baby so to speak Shocked

In other words... she cant decide.... yet she has 2 weeks max to decide!

zzr_peak · Renault 5 Driver Joined: 24 Jun 2004 Karma :

hmmm, thats a hard one! ironic thats what caused the problem in the first place!
but i would say adoption.

MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

i dont envy her! but she knows she's got the support of her family and friends!

Phil. · World Chat Champion Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

That is a very difficult decision to make.

My then girlfriend and I had to make that same decision when we were just 16.

I personally couldn't live with adoption. To sit here now and think my 4 year old son/daughter was out there somewhere would be too much.

The way we looked at it was, we wasn't prepared to raise a child in, well pretty much any way so it would be unfair on the child. As much as we justified the decision, it didn't make it any easier to live with.

My girlfriend was 23 weeks at the time I think. She was very close to a decision not needing to be made at all.

On the other hand my brother recently found out his on/off girlfriend is pregnant. He is over the moon he is going to be a dad and its helped sort out their problems an they are to marry.

So what ever her decision i hope she dosn't grow to regret it.

Dave_gimber · Two Stroke Sniffer Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Karma :

she cant give birth to a dead baby no matter what, my auntie had to do it- her child was fully grown, an died inside her 2 days before she was due to give birth (she actually wanted the baby)- she was terrible- i don't recommend she has that done at all- she will never forgive herself.
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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

I would say adoption, but it is her choice not anyone elses. Don't really know what you should be saying or doing, having never been in that situation myself. Only thing I can suggest is to support her as much as you can do with her choice, and make sure she knows that it is her choice to make and no one else should be trying to influence her. It might be worth making sure that the rest of your immediate family are fully supportive of her, and are not trying to get her to make a decision which they see fit.

Hope all goes well for her and the baby. Thumbs Up

GFK · Scooby Slapper Joined: 02 Apr 2003 Karma :

Firstly, she won't thank you for posting details of her private life all over the internet.

atom · Scooby Slapper Joined: 26 Apr 2004 Karma :

I think it's her decision, it's her body, her mind her concoiusness, her soul, no one can make that decision for her, Just be supportive whatever she decides
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JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

I think we also have to look at the situation here...The dad is going to be a tw*t about it and isn't going to put any money or effort in for this child if she does bring it up herself, if it wasn't a one night stand things would be different, I know it seems immoral but I am starting to think Abortion might only be the best way, both for the baby who would never have a proper loving biological Dad and a mother who *might* struggle to cope. Even with all the fantastic help she might get from relatives. Smile

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MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

GFK - I didnt say it was his fault... I was merely pointing out the situation! She's not blaming him, no1 his, thats not even anywhere near the topic of conversation at the moment, she's not even sure if she wants him to know.

Ste - As for knowing what to say or do, I've no idea either! If she asks our opinions on what we think, then we'll tell her, but she knows we are all there 4 her regardless, its not even something she needs to question

GFK · Scooby Slapper Joined: 02 Apr 2003 Karma :

OK, Mike.

I had a kid with my first wife back in 2001 - she fucked off with him when he was three weeks old and I haven't been allowed to see him since - despite fighting it in court for well over a year at a cost of almost £6,000 until I just couldn't afford to do it any more. Thankyou CAFCASS. Middle Finger

Second, I remarried last April and my wife had a miscarriage six weeks ago. We wanted a baby more than anything and we were completely devastated. Crying or Very sad

I just can't get my head around people who voluntarily give away or kill their babies. Confused

carnislick · Nitrous Nuisance Joined: 17 May 2004 Karma :

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Kickstart · The Oracle Joined: 04 Feb 2002 Karma :

Hi

Personally it is her choice 100%, and her health and future which are paramount. Her future is of far more relevance than the possiblility of a future for what are currently just cells incapable of independent existance.

All the best

Keith
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MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

just wish things in life could be so simple Eh?

1cyl · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Feb 2004 Karma :

Keep it! enjoy it, aparently nothing makes you happier than bringing a life into the world! Very Happy

But if not that......adoption Confused

Don't let her have an abortion, that is criminal! Evil or Very Mad

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hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

tgabber · Crazy Courier Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

MikeyC · World Chat Champion Joined: 16 Aug 2002 Karma :

thanks for all your views people... I appreciate you all making an effort to air your opinions

Nighteyes · Dirty Bint Joined: 05 Aug 2003 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

I say that an abortion is better than bringing a child into a family where it is not wanted and will not get a good life or bringing up. It is fairer to the child than putting it through life in a household where it is not wanted.

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

I am not saying that having an abortion is a good thing to do, or a nice thing to do, I was just sayings In my views it is the better out of two choices which are both bad ones.

Generally I am against abortion, but I feel that is better that a baby is given an abortion rather than being bought into a family that does not really want it and will not be giving it everything it deserves.