How do I stop cats crapping on my veg patch?

[Blobber]

Since my dog died over a year ago, the local cats have been coming into my garden and shitting on my veg patch. I bought one of those ultrasonic cat scarers, I couldn't tell if it was working (as apperently the sound isn't audible to humans) but after a couple of weeks, it was obvious that it was attracting the little bastards and not repelling them. I've laid bean canes all over the area, but they just shit between the canes. I put a length of garden hose down, because apperently they think it's a snake (no they don't). Any other bright ideas?
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Just bobbing along

[CaNsA]

This...

Again....

inb4 bnp72 and his kill all cats cos toxoplasmosis

[kerr]

Cut lemons in half and dot them around, cats hate citrus.

Sure i heard that somewhere, i could very well be talking shite.
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[mentalboy]

Pop to your local zoo and buy a bag of tiger shit, then spread it around (I kid you not).

[Omega]

Steal them. All of them. Seriously.

Feed the cats. Bring them into your home. Learn to appreciate them. Your neighbours will soon start to wonder where their little precious babies have disappeared off to. When they finally clock on to your scheme they'll do everything in their power to get the little bastards back. They'll make sure they don't visit your garden again any time soon.

See this thread:-
https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=299082

Edit:-
As CaNsA pointed out, there are many threads about keeping cats out of your garden. The owners couldn't care less when you use the usual methods. That's why it is a regular issue. There is only one thread about stolen cats. Read into that what you will!

[Robby]

I know someone that has ultrasonic cat scarers, and they do work for her. She has what I assume are the more expensive/powerful versions, because I can hear them. Very confusing, until you realise there's a little stick making that noise.

Otherwise, deal with it. Get a cat. They're great.

[hellkat]

Orange juice.

Buy a bag of oranges, cut them all in half (or quarters), squeeze around the garden, leave the orange rinds to decompose in the garden itself.

Or orange essential oil - about a dozen drops in a watering can.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[doggone]

Somewhere you can get a water pistol that fires automatically when movement is detected - sounds fun to watch.
Cats have a bizarre phobia about water, it's supposed to make them worried if there's a clear plastic bottle part full of water.
Could be that something new and suspicious keeps them away especially if already traumatise by water pistols

https://www.amazon.co.uk/STV-STV414-Jet-Spray-Repeller/dp/B003TLA4FS

[andyscooter]

buy another dog
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[hellkat]

[Just_James]

[DrDonnyBrago]

An upstairs window and a bucket of water worked for me.

Got the ginger fecker mid pinch off, the half drowned cat shaped object that ran off hasn't been back.

[Tracey Suntan-King]

Some say, the taste of cat crap can only improve the flavour of sprouts. Do nothing
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[scorps]

bucket of water, cats hate that and as per Omegas post, I actually moved from the area. This may not be a viable option for the cat owner near you though.

On a serious note, my cats will not go anywhere near our black currant bush, if you notice, blackcurrrant bushes smell a bit like cat wee so maybe thats why.

i used to have a small patch of pea pebbles in my garden when i lived in the city, this was like an outside litter tray to my cats so that they didnt use neighbours gardens. it worked that well all of the other local cats used it as well though... but you could mention it to the cats owners, if they are reasonable they should be able to sacrifice a bit of their own garden.
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[unitynotsocri...]

Powersoaker water pistol.......Argos.......loads of fun ! Fill the water pistol with your own pee so the cats remember you!
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[CaNsA]

[Mark65]

[monkeybiker]

[scorps]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/travel_news/article-3181542/You-don-t-scare-Plucky-cat-Felix-stands-ground-against-Tiger-named-Neiko-screeches-intimidating-manner.html

this cat hasnt read the bit about tiger/lion crap.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[The Wobbly Orange]

Landmines
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People tell me I am lovely. How wrong they are!

[J0Al1]

Don't waste your money on lemon or garlic or any silly cat deturant..

Sponic noise thing didn't work for me either.

Electric fencing works but is a right pain for mowing the lawn.

High powered motion detecting water jet, not that I've tried this.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

You need to completely reassess the situation i.e The cat is your ruler, you are but a minion to it....But you can benefit during this enslavement.

The answer is coffee.
Feed your cat coffee beans, collect the bean laden faeces and sell for huge profit. *Kopi luwak, the world's most expensive coffee.

With profits invest in an AK47 and shoot the little twat.
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[mentalboy]

[pepperami]

Another vote for the super-soaker
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[Blobber]

I like the citrus idea, as for