Total family cut off....

[Entertwainer]

this may seem petty in the grand scheme of things (which it actually is to be honest) however, ever since i tried to speak to my mum back end of July about the constant comments she makes about how we formula feed our children and that dairy is bad etc etc, she's comepletely halted all communication with me. not only that, but also my dad and my 2 sisters too.
i even tried talking to one of my sisters about it and she literally avoided mentioning it at all..??!

all i asked my mum to do is to stop saying these things as it upsets the mrs. having someone (not least your mother in law) say that 'the formula you feed your child makes him ill' and that 'its such a shame you can't breast feed anymore' to your face is pretty bang out of order. not only are these statements bollocks and completely unhelpful (the only intent i can see is to hurt her feelings), our children are no more ill than any other children - infact i'd go on to say they are far less ill than i was - and i was breast fed.

so i felt it only right to bring a stop to this (its been happening for nearly 4 years now (ever since we switched to formula feed for our first son).

her issues dont stop with the non breastfeeding/dairy in your diet crap, she even went as far as blaming my mrs for her miscarriages (first one she had was with twins - a 1 in 4 chance of miscarrying) and the second miscarriage happened after our first born son, but before our second son. she told her that its 'very rare for someone of her age to miscarriage - let alone twice'. the mrs was 24 when that happened and 26 the second time. doesnt smoke,drink, eats well and in very good shape

she's also got issues with schools, saying - and i actually quote here "all schools give you are an education". i shit you not.

i know i'm not in the wrong here - the only 'but' is that maybe i should have nipped the comments she makes in the bud a while back - but its one of those situations where you come to your senses after the moment - the comments are subtle sometimes and her delivery so casual that it catches you off guard.

the moment we have brought it to her attention and she flies off the handle, accusing us of picking a fight with the wrong person, all this bravado bullshit, when all i asked was for her to stop saying things that upset me and my mrs - i just want a normal relationship for my children with both their grandparents, but shes gone fucking mental and seems intent on putting her pride before all that.

amongst all this, i am most upset/disappointed about my dad. not even spoken to me about it, not a word/text/email - nothing. its been over a month now.

i'm at the pont where i'm starting to distance myself from my parents, losing more respect for them each day that passes with no word from them.

if this were me, and i was my dad - and my son and his mother had fallen out, i'd be doing whatever it took to help repair that so that i could see my son and grandchildren again.
its like they dont care and are happy to live in their 'dairy free, home schooled, everyone else is living wrong' world for the rest of their lives. and i'm even starting to think that might be for the better.

[DrDonnyBrago]

Set the rules of "the game" as you see fit. If your parents don't want to play then that is their problem.

[Quornholio]

Sorry, whose kids are they? Yours or hers?

Tell her if she wants to dictate how kids are brought up, to have some more.

I have cut off almost all of my family, and have an infinitely better life because of it. The daft bitch of a mother once rang me up to go to the shop, which was 7 miles from me, but less than half a mile from her. Nutty bitch.

[Bubbs]

Tell you mum to fuck off an keep her nose out, and warn her that you and the wife are a unit and upsetting one is the same as upsetting you both. Thank your Dad for being the grown up and not getting involved in a childish squable, and stop giving a fuck what people think.

Your child.. your life!! Even better, just bait your mum and play her along. Tell her you've started liquidating big macs and feeding them in a bottle, also you have decided to use food colourings full of nasty e numbers to change the colour of the milk as the baby prefers neon purple.

Dude... sort it out!
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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[Raffles]

Families are the worst thing ever invented.....Fuck'em all.
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A good loser will always be a loser.

[Rogerborg]

Kill 'em before they cut you out of the will.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[stinkwheel]

My paternal grandmother was told by my Dad she was welcome to come over and see me or my brother as babies anytime as long as she promised to keep a civil tongue in her head when talking to my mum.

She never saw me. Presumably she decided she couldn't keep a civil tongue in her head.
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[Entertwainer]

[nowhere.elysium]

There's been similar behaviour in my family's past - not my immediate relatives, but a generation back. You can either keep trying to rebuild the burned bridges, or you can move on - nothing anyone here says can make that decision for you.

You're your own man, with your own family. Stinkwheel's old man had the right idea; set the boundaries - if they can't operate within them, then you're not the one doing the excluding. It's also worth making it clear that your siblings and father aren't the antagonists in this, and are welcome at all times (presuming that's the case). If your mother has half a brain in her head, she'll twig that it's her that's the one that's being singled out. If she doesn't, then you've saved your kids from being exposed to a toxic grandparent.

It's a painful choice to make, but you've got to think of your kids' welfare, and not your mother's sense of dominion.
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'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project

[Tungtvann]

Your dad has got to live with your mum, I'm assuming your parents are oldish (50s-60s), so he doesn't want to rile her up and have to live with her acting crazy to him. Maybe he should say and do something, but perhaps he's lost the will to fight her!

No offence, but your mum sounds like a loonbag. My mum can be the same sometimes, she's got a lot better recently and is fine to be around, but she's fallen out with family over the most petty and pathetic shit.

Until your mother can stop being a cow, nothing will change. She'll say the things she says, she'll be nasty to your mrs, and she won't ever apologise or realise it's her that's the issue.

If she's not prepared to change (sounds like she won't), then bye, she can be a bitter lonely old woman who nobody wants to be around.

[-Matt-]

I'd just leave them all to it, if they want to have a relationship with you and your children they can do the work to make up for all the shit they've been causing you and your wife. If they can't be bothered to do that its no real loss to your kids anyway as what sort of grandparents would that make them.

Never understood all this blood is thicker than water business personally, i have very little contact what so ever with my family and don't particularly care anymore, nothing good has ever come from doing so, so i just get on with my life with the people i do wish to have contact with.

[Tracey Suntan-King]

Blood is thicker than water, but it makes a lot more mess. And the stains can very stubborn!

What I'm saying is, you don't have to put up with it. So don't.
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[prawny1]

[scorps]

My mother was a cow to my daughters and an utter bitch to me with her seemingly innocent remarks which I knew were barbed and deliberate. Ive not missed her and my snotty faced shithead of a sister since they took umbrage at me standing up for myself. Get on with your life, your wife will be proud that you have stood up for her. you did the right thing.
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Do not presume that I am male.

[orac]

Only skimmed through but it sounds like you tell the lot of the to fuck off. I had issues with my parents, not seen any of my family for 10 years, best thing i ever did was to cut them out of my life. Remember they are the ones who will miss out on your little ones growing up.

as for the mis carriage thing, it very common in woman of all ages, something like1 in 10. Just tell your mother too fuck off to what ever past century she came from and stay there
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Current rides - 2016 Triumph Street Triple Rx, 1994 Suzuki Bandit 400 VM, TGB 204 Classic 125cc
"with nothing left to lose, there is everything to gain. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog"

[Skudd]

[nowhere.elysium]

[kawakid]

My mother is mad also, sort of woman that can't play or be fun with children. Just an old tory tbh.

She never spoiles them, never.

Regarding breast feeding, I wasn't and I have had asthma, food allergies, exzema. All my 3 were and nothing.

My mates wife who is lazy and never tried and her excuse was she didn't want bigger boobs, well her kids have all the above and glasses.
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I've a twin and a 4.

[Quornholio]

[swampy]

They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.


Obviously you might wanna give the third verse a miss.....
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"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S Thompson
"Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death..." Hunter S Thompson

[mentalboy]

[Entertwainer]

the whole breast feeding argument is a pointless argument in some respects. although both our kids were breast fed to begin with (for at least the first 3/4weeks) which apparently is part of the most crucial time to do so -
you could line up 100 toddlers and you wouldnt be able to confidently guess which ones were (or still are in some weird cases) and were not breast fed.
i was 100% breastified and i have asthma and an intolerance to milk/dairy and even alcohol (i go really red all over my skin and get blood shot eyes). not that im saying i have those 'defects' BECAUSE i was breastfed, im saying i have all that in spite of being breast fed.

my mothers arguments for anything she is 'pro' are so contradictory.
like home schooling. on one hand all my mum says is 'schools give you nothing but an education' (meaning they dont teach you about life-which is bullshit) - and on the other hand, my nephew and niece (who are home schooled) are 9 & 10 and cant read. the niece also has a panic attack every time her mother drops her off somewhere.

she's so blinkered by her own unfounded factless biased opinions that she believes they are actually fact.
if she read something (regardless of the source) - and agreed with herself that the world was flat, she'd argue it, even if you had that bloke from D-REAM, Patrick Moore (RIP) explaining it to her while being flung into orbit and shown to her face.

[Rogerborg]

[chris-red]

If you speak to her again maybe tell her she is a miserable old cunt, really go for the juggler about how no one likes her and how she pushes everyone way. It might kick her arse to stop being a cunt if not I'll be good to dress her down.
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Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.

[Tungtvann]

If you told me your mother was a hardcore religious nut, I would not be surprised.