Embarrasing newbie faux pas

[synaptyx]

I soooooooooooo cannot believe what a total tit I was earlier today. I was checking the oil and thinking I had the bike upright it looked like there was no oil in it. AARGGHH!! I panicked and wheeled it to the bike shop which was close by. The guy pulls her upright and shows me the oil sitting perfect inbetween the marks on the view glass. Cue sheepish grin and "oops"! "You did the right thing though" he says suppressing a laugh and slapping me on the back, "you don't fuck about with oil".

I still feel a total tit.

I took the bike for petrol and when I came out of the garage shop I saw a bike being wheeled in by one of the instructors of the local riding school (I'll save their blushes), I smiled and asked if he was ok, he says "They work better with petrol in them". ROFLMAO!

I feel less of a tit.


I'm sure you've all had similar moments? Spill!

[stinkwheel]

An old favourite is the riding off without switching the fuel on routine. You get a couple of miles up the road and the bike splutters and dies under you, it can take a surprisingly long time to figure out what you've done as the mind immediatley assumes something has gone horribly wrong.

Related to the above is forgetting to switch the fuel tap back to 'on' from reserve when you fill up, then when you run-out, you actually have and land up pushing the bugger.
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[Frost]

I often forget to turn the fuel on, ride up the road only to have the bike die in the middle of a roundabout/box junction.
that and in the winter i rode off a fair few times with the choke on full wondering why the bike didnt want to rev

[Annabella]

Nah, I spent ages having a tantrum over my NSR when I first started to ride and was using to get to work.

Then damn thing just WOULD NOT START! For the life of me I couldn't think why... There was plenty of fuel, there was fuel in the tank, it worked yesterday. Now, nothing, it was totally utterly dead.


The kill switch was flicked.

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[hellkat]

Ah yes, the fuel ON switch. So many times ... it only ever happens when my mates have been working on the bike, cos they always turn it off to do mechanicky stuff, but I never turn the fuel off when I park up at home, so I never think to check it after they've finished.

My best one is the "Help help, bike won't start" thing: cranking it for ages and then realising that the kill switch is engaged (or the sidestand has a cut out switch on it).



I tend to do the "helpless girlie" thing, cos I simply HAVE NO IDEA what might be wrong. There's usually some helpful bloke around to laugh and call me a silly woman and get it started for me.
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[NSR125-Kid-UK]

Hmm, arse-ups, where to start.

Well, I failed three CBT's, and dumped the clutch and crashed into the instructor's CBF500 on the CBT where I DID pass....

I've had the NSR stop working, only little niggles - flooded engine. I accidentally flicked the engine cutoff switch, then spent the next hours trying to start it, until the battery went dead. I pushed the bike up to my grandads, dropping it and smashing a fairing panel in the process...

Later, I left the fuel tap on "reserve" and all the petrol dripped out of the carb overflow over several days - wasted 60 miles worth of petrol and I ran out on the way back from its MOT. An hour later we had the problem sorted, and the bike wouldn't start - cutoff switch on "

Other than that, the silliest thing I've done was to go into a dealers with a confident grin and ask about buying a 1999 R1 (I thought the R1 was a 600 at this time ). It soon turned out that the dealers had figured that I didn't know what I was talking about .

First time I practiced burnouts, I revved to 11k, and dumped the clutch - front wheel shot up and the bike leapt forward. As soon as the front touched down, (with brakes still locking the front), the back came up, and I slid into the fuel tank crushing my nuts,

That's about it, unless you count getting your knee down in a car park, and then proceeding to have the back tyre lose grip, spitting you down the road right in front of a waiting police car....

and I thought I was making progress
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[Gazanimal]

My little faux pas which I did was I met the missus from work & told her to set off & I'd catch her up.

Started up the bike,sat on it,knocked it into 1st gear.....clunk,the engine cut out.

Fired her up again,knocked it into 1st.......clunk! Dead again.

3-4 minutes passed of me thinking all sorts (new bike's knackered,gearbox is fooked,clutch has gone).....

Then I took a little look down to my left foot & low & behold.....my side-stand was still down. (engine cuts out when side stand is down & knocked into gear.)

Felt a right muppet.

(never done it since though! )

[Finglonga]

Years ago me and my mate pulled into a petrol station. I went past the first pump and stopped at the second, just then there wad a loud bang and a metallic clang.
I turned around and my mate had run into the first petrol pump and ripped the metal cover off the side.
The he picked up his bike and rode off leaving me with my nozzle in my hand .
The cashier ran out and asked me if I knew him 'Nope' I said 'never seen him before'.

After filling up I went around my mates house and asked what happened......He said....'The reason he fell off was that he was watching a girl walking past the garage and didn't see the pump jump out at him'.
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[dodsi]

i was doing some test training and i got on the bike started it up, put it into gear and it stopped!

so i put it in neutral... started it up, put it into gear and it stopped again

repeated this process life 5 times untill a voice came over the instructers radio

"if it wont start its because the side stand is down"

[tgabber]

I've always been a bit clumsy. I'm especially bad at standing on one foot, even worse if that foot is my left...

Yep, when I was a newbie, I fell over on more than one occasion simply getting onto the bike...

Oh and my other big newbie faux pas would be walking my bike out backwards of a crowded London parking space, losing control of it and dropping it and very very nearly taking out a whole row of bikes with it.

I now religiously follow the advice given to me that day and always reverse sitting on the bike...
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[hustler]

[Sparks!]

The most embarassing newbie thing I've ever done was 5 minutes before my test! Me and the instructor pulled into a gravel car park for a quick cup of tea, I rode onto the gravel and went to turn around, front brake, oops straight on the floor bike still running, I picked it up and accidentally hit the throttle and the bike flew off into a brand new Vauxhall Vectra... DOH

I failed that test too un-suprisingly

Then on some further training after that in pouring rain it was emergency stop time... in the rain.. in a puddle... nooo from 20 odd mph the bike went flying and I jumped off and ran off from the bike - all I could hear was my instructor pissing himself laughing.

Haven't really done anything else stupid, I was really really shit though when I first started riding on a 125... somehow passed my test, couldn't afford to get my bike insured at the time but about 5 months later when I first got on the road.. I got on my ZXR400 and rode a LOT better and no real problems.. I think it's something to do with 125's bloody hate the things.

Oh, on my first time out on the ZXR I was in traffic and got erm, distracted by some ladie and dropped the clutch a bit too quickly and fell sideways
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[Frost]

I SOOOOOO nearly went into the back of a car today because i was watching a girl. she wasnt all that fine, she just had potential from what i saw from behind. i went past, looked behind me to see what the other side was like, looked forwards again to see the car in front at a dead stop :/

[JonB]

Most embarrassing thing for me is moving off with the disc lock on at full throttle and falling on the floor in front of all my mates and not realising my disc lock is still on.

Either that or Having the ignition in the OFF position from WHEEL LOCK.

Oh and what does Faux Pas mean?
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[synaptyx]

Ah crap, another one: Sitting at traffic lights, see cutie pulling up behind me in mirror, thinks, time for a smooth, cool pull away. Look up. Shit! Green! Dump clutch. Stall. Glance in mirror, cutie is grinning like a cheshire cat patiently waiting on me getting my shit together.

What a loser. That'll teach me.

[izzi81]

Just the other day. Went out riding in the rain, came home, parked in the garage. In the evening I went out to the garage to check the tyre pressures because the bike had felt a bit odd cornering. In order to get at the tyre nozzles I had to roll the bike forward (or backward) a bit. So I tried to do this. It moved a bit, and then stuck tight. Tried the other way. Did the same thing.
Once when I took it out in the rain the brakes stuck a bit at first, so I tried moving it again to un-stick possible sticky brakes. It refused to move. I put down the stand, stared + prodded brakes, they looked OK. Tried moving the bike again. Still refused to budge.

My dad was in the vicinity so I asked him what he thought, mentioned the brakes and showed him what happened when I tried to move it.

'It's acting like it's in gear' he said.




It was in first. Put it back in neutral, 'mystery' problem solved.
And this is after over 5 years of bike riding!
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[TheShaggyDA]

[mchaggis]

As well as the inevitable kill switch moments, leaving the sidestand down and looking like a fool wondering why it kept dying, I once paddled it backwards into a wall because I wasn't used to not being able to see the back of the bike with my helmet on. (That is, not able to see the back without doing contortions to see.)

Ah, I forgot when I touched an exhaust manifold pipe with my finger to see if it was hot! The blister's still not healed, and I still can't work out why I did it.

[Josh]

Not really a mistake, but when testing the tank range of my new bike it decided that 90mph overtakes would be a fun time to run out.
They laughed as they overtook me at the side of the road switching to reserve.
And a few near misses when I have been..... admiring ladies/myself/people watching me go past.
I think I might be a tiny bit vain.....
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[zaknafien]

[AzA]

Voice in my tells me allot of things.

Your just jelous the voices arn't speeking to you.
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[hellkat]

[synaptyx]

I know hellkat, we're pathetic, disgusting, slobbering 'tards. Er, right lads?

[dodsi]

yeah its why i have an auto at the moment!

each pull away as smooth as the last...

[Born2bVile]

First night I had a bike (pre CBT. You just bought a bike and learned the hard way), I was doing ok. Had a mate riding alongside me pointing out riding errors.

We got to a junction and he decides to turn round to speak to a couple of mates we'd just passed. I got as far as the kerb and couldn't get the bike up it. No matter how much I put on the throttle.

The I realised the problem. I was still holding the clutch in!

So I let go of the clutch. Bearing in mind I was revving the tits off it at the time.

The next thing I remember is lying on the ground. The bike had landed on a garden wall and was wobbling on it. I was lying right underneath it.

I got up pretty quickly, just as all three of my mates came running up, pissing themselves laughing.

The lamp-post next to the wall still has a scar on it to this day. That was 21 years ago.

Cheers,

Byrnie.
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