Grievance with work collegue for the first time ever

[mrbox]

Seeking another angle or view on this:

newish employee gives me a nickname soon after he starts so I pulled him up on it, settled for a bit then began again pulled him to one side and said 'when you talk to me you use my name or don't bother talking to me at all'. so a month later and it resumes again.

my problem is the guys mum has been ill and recently passed away and the nice guy in me wants to let it go but I find it incredibly disrespectful.

I am thinking about making a formal complaint to my manager (for the first time in my working life!) to see if it works, any other suggestions?

as much as I am looking for sensible options I look forward to some alternatives



Mike (not Liam Gallagher or Oasis)
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Current bikes: RE Himalayan, Bandit 12, MZ250ES

[UnknownStuntm...]

Is there any degree of 'protected category'-ness about the nickname he's calling you?

Go on, tell us what it is.

[DrSnoosnoo]

Tell him to fuck off ...

Or call him Susan?
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I'm Sam; Northern, Ginger, Lover
Did have: '95 ZZR600 '83 CG125 '97 ZZR1100 '15 Hypermotard 821 SP Do Have: '10 ZX10R

[DrSnoosnoo]

[mrbox]

Mike (not Liam Gallagher or Oasis)
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Current bikes: RE Himalayan, Bandit 12, MZ250ES

[UnknownStuntm...]

Well tell him again, calmly and respectfully, that you expect him to knock it off or the matter will be escalated and dealt with by the company procedure.

Odds are there isn't a procedure though, so be prepared to tell your / his line manager and see it through, regardless of how much 'personality issues' that will demonstrate between you.

I'd tell him to knock it off, and when he did it again I'd punch his teeth in. But that's me, not you.

[V2]

Mike Hunt?

[mrbox]

[Lord Percy]

I'm inclined to agree it's a bit disrespectful, mainly because you specially told him to not do it. Nobody should need telling twice, let alone three times, so he sounds like a first class arsehole. Mum death is obviously awful but it's a totally separate matter.

You'll be seen as the snitching type if you put in a formal complaint so it depends on how you feel about that. I tend to not enjoy that route and would rather suck up the nickname or get properly stern with the lad, depending on whether he's a little scrote or a hard nut...).

[mrbox]

there is a procedure in place how effective it is I have no idea, never gone down that route before.

the last time I pulled him on it I told him it would be passed on to my line manager to be dealt with if he did it again. I am loath to fail to follow through on that but due to his recent bereavement I am having an attack of conscience.

I am not really one for fisticuffs and I don't think it is good for keeping my job!
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Current bikes: RE Himalayan, Bandit 12, MZ250ES

[mrbox]

[mrbox]

[Poseidon]

Personally, I'd just roll with. Take my time. Say what I say and don't let anybody get in my way.

On a more serious note, I've been given a great many nicknames. Some good, others not so. Either way they've never really bothered me and if people want to call me that, then fine. The good nicknames, I got used to and became known as that in that particular situation. The not so good ones, I never really responded too (not out of intentionally ignoring it or anything, just didn't learn to acknowledge them when they called it out to get my attention), so after a short time they fell by the wayside. To me, nicknames are a badge of honour. It shows that you're enough of an individual to warrant having one bestowed upon you. It shows you have a sense of humour and don't take stuff to seriously. I feel sorry for those who try and give themselves a nickname... That's just sad.

I did know a lad who we gave a nickname to (nothing at all offensive) and he really got the hump. Went off whingeing to various people and we were told to stop it. That just made it worse. When he wasn't around we'd refer to him exclusively using his nickname (followed by a shared chuckle each time it was said) and we'd label his stuff with the nickname for him to find when he returned. Okay, thinking back, it was bullying, but it was made significantly worse by him being bothered by it. If he'd not bothered responding to it, we'd have gotten bored of calling him it and it would've faded away.
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1977 Honda CG125
2002 Ducati Monster S4 (currently restoring)

[Ste]

Every time he uses the nickname, respond with a your mum joke.

[P.addy]

Does he bring a lunch box to work and pop it in the fridge.

Do you have expanding foam.

Can you put 2 and 2 together.

[mrbox]

[mrbox]

[mrbox]

[Rogerborg]

[mrbox]

decided: putting in a grievance tomorrow.

may change my user name to snitch

thanks BCF
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Current bikes: RE Himalayan, Bandit 12, MZ250ES

[Poseidon]

[angryjonny]

Tell HR he's being Oasist.

[ScaredyCat]

Punch him in the tits and do him up the garry. Then dig up him mum and do the same, this time videoing it. Sell video to Ste...
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Honda CBF125 ➝ NC700X
Honda CBF125 ↳ Speed Triple

[dydey90]

I'd just think of a nickname for him and use it exclusively to refer to him. The less PC the better.
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This post is probably not serious and shouldn't be taken literally.
Past: CBR125,ER6f NINJA 650, ZZR600 Current: VFR750

[Minty]

<looks at own username>

Nicknames suck balls, majorly.
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My fingers smell of your mum.