Making close friends in later life?

[Sun Wukong]

So, when did you meet your best friend? (For the poll)

There is a theory that friendships are built over thousands of hours pissing around together... the kind of thing you only get a chance to do when you are very young.

Think of the hundreds of hours playing COD or going out clubbing you did during your teen years.

Or perhaps you met at work, and bonded there, and kept the friendship going?

I am just curious about friendship stories really. As some know, I have hopped about for a long time, and have good friends scattered around the world.... but now find it much harder to "click" with new people. I am also a much different person than when I was younger, and find I have less in common with old friends, so new is the only way forward really.

This might be the aging process, or people just have enough stuff going on at home.

Looking at my family, none of them seem to have developed any new close friendships in later life.

It seems like the progress of life is slowly losing a good friend at a time, drop by drop, like petals from a rose.

Has anyone found the opposite? A second renaissance?
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86

[andyscooter]

I havnt got a best friend I am not 9

except the wife but she doesn't count
____________________
gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet

[hellkat]

I don't really do girlie BFFs sort of things, but I do have a best mate. In fact, I have a London one and a NZ one.

I met them both at work, one 37 years ago, the other 12(ish) years ago.

Both mad as a box of frogs, but I am very fond of them - probably because as they both now live abroad, we're not living in each other's pockets all the time.

But I'm really suffering with a sense of loneliness now because I haven't really got a mate to hang out with except my bloke (who is always mental busy) and two of my ex's, both of whom know me really well, bit of a strange situation, admittedly.

So I am trying to make new friends but yes, it's quite hard because I've got an unfortunate knack of keeping most people at arms length ... intentionally or otherwise.

Although I am quite fond of MCW these days the little bugger has got past my defences and is quite a sweetie in that dotty Englishwoman way. But even she lives far too far away *grumpy*

I really want to pressurise my friends to move back closer to me, so I have someone to go out drinking with, but I can't bring myself to play those emotional blackmail type of games with anyone.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

The subject does resonate quite a lot with me, though.

Example: if someone said to me, okay, so aside from girlie BFFs or ex's, who is your best bloke-mate, someone that you've not shagged but are very friendly with, or that you get on well with/can relate to, well I'd probably have to say "Bonny Ricardo"
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Sun Wukong]

[Beehive Bedlam]

Friends are for beta fags.

[Itchy]

Friends are extremely situational and temporary at best. Moving around constantly not seeing each other it all fades away after a while as calls stop and people get busy.

Partly because who you are during a certain activity or time period in your life is not who you are in your normal life.
____________________
Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[Sun Wukong]

[owl]

https://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/friends-are-like-a-trampoline.jpg
____________________
Observation is the greatest source of wisdom.

[RhynoCZ]

https://cf.chucklesnetwork.com/items/6/3/1/6/9/original/im-so-happy-cause-today-i-found-my-friends-theyre-in-my-head.jpg
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[hellkat]

Thing is, I went through the Fazer phase ( sorry ) of thinking I didn't need any friends. But that's why I am in the situation I now find myself, of having few real independent friends anymore.

The friends I have kept almost all seem to be slightly better educated than me, but seem to consider me an intellectual equal. Strangely, that situation you were talking about in the other thread where you asked about feeling like a fraud in an employment situation ... I'm like that with my buddies, almost all of whom have successfully been through tertiary education, whereas I have not. I'm certain I have the same level of intellectual capability - I just don't have the paperwork to prove it.

The quality I recognise in the friends I do have, is that they are barking mad in their own funny ways.
I like that in a chum.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[M.C]

I fell out with my best mate years ago, turned out we grew into very different adults Most of my good friends I've known from childhood, I think you do form stronger bonds as kids. As adults people only ever seem to want something, at least the people I know.

[Saraya]

Not including hubby, I have 3 very close friends. One since I was 11 (I’m now 44), the other for about 8yrs (an ex colleague) and the other for 2yrs. (She was my son’s TA and we connected again through FB.) I love them all, but they’re all very different – and I try to keep them apart. It feels kinda weird if I’m with 2 of them at the same time.
I don’t really do going out socialising with them. They spend the day here. I have prosopagnosia and busy places cause me problems.

[hellkat]

[M.C]

[Bozzy]

[hellkat]

[dodsi]

I like to keep my friend circle small, mainly because I struggle to trust a lot of people - not in terms of stealing from you or anything sinister just aquantence type relationships people will spend the time talking about you in a negative way and nobody got no time for that. Or you get the jealous types who don't like it when you acheive something good like buying your first property or getting a promotion etc.

I think it's perfectly possible to create new relationships at any point in life - if you get on with someone and have similar values then why not hang out etc. Your old mates always have a place in your heart but new people (who really don't come along very often) can be great too.

And for the above reasons my best mate is my cat - we have only known each other about 18 months but we are both a similar age (him in cat years) and therefore neither of us want any hastle and just to chill out without having to try hard.

[Sun Wukong]

Thank god I'm not alone in that regard.

It might be a spergy introvert thing, but I'm buggered if I enjoy spending time with groups of people.

The problem is, no mater how nice your house is, or how many fun things you fill it with... people invariably want to meet outside somewhere.

Listen, mate. I almost definitely won't rape you if you come here for tea, a bifta and a spot of Call of Duty.

Like Dodsi, I feel I am set for a life of canine true love, and a string of heartbreak and/or prostitutes trying to find a woman best friend for bad touch.

But one hopes for the best

The dog is genuinely happening. And John Wick will also happen if anyone touches it. Also genuine fact.
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86

[Sun Wukong]

[Polarbear]

[Rogerborg]

[dodsi]

[pepperami]

[M.C]