Resend my activation email : Register : Log in 
BCF: Bike Chat Forums


Strangest complaints people have had about your house

Reply to topic
Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
View previous topic : View next topic  
Author Message

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 05:57 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Strangest complaints people have had about your house Reply with quote

So, just a slight vent.

I am currently staying in a lovely apartment, provided by my work, which I keep fairly clean.

I am dating, and also trying to make use of such a nice apartment, so invite people round fairly often.

I have noticed a lot of people will walk in to a house and find something to complain about pretty quickly.

I had a great one yesterday... the floor to ceiling mirror that is a sliding door for the walk in warddrobe has hand smudges from being slid.

This is an utter outrage, and indicative of the squalor I live in Confused

Da'fuq?

So, any other corkers?
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 08:16 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't understand people who keep a tray of cat shit in their house when people visit.
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

rpsmith79
World Chat Champion



Joined: 31 Jan 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 08:29 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
I don't understand people who keep a tray of cat shit in their house when people visit.


It's to cover up the smell of the cat piss on the stairs Wink
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

ScaredyCat
World Chat Champion



Joined: 19 May 2012
Karma :

PostPosted: 08:53 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
I don't understand people who keep a tray of cat shit in their house when people visit.


It makes sure people don't stay too long. If they still don't get the hint the tray should me moved into the same room and the cat (or cats) encouraged to use it ASAP.
____________________
Honda CBF125 ➝ NC700X
Honda CBF125 ↳ Speed Triple
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 08:56 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I suppose. I've gone to great lengths to stop my house smelling of dog since I got my first one this year.
First purchase was a case of neutradol solid air fresheners, always at least 3 of those on the go around the
downstairs. Downstairs is all tiles/laminate and gets hoovered and mopped twice a day, the dog gets a weekly
bath and isn't allowed upstairs at all. When my mate comes over the first thing I ask him is if it smells of dog? Laughing
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

rpsmith79
World Chat Champion



Joined: 31 Jan 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:06 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
I suppose. I've gone to great lengths to stop my house smelling of dog since I got my first one this year.
First purchase was a case of neutradol solid air fresheners, always at least 3 of those on the go around the
downstairs. Downstairs is all tiles/laminate and gets hoovered and mopped twice a day, the dog gets a weekly
bath and isn't allowed upstairs at all. When my mate comes over the first thing I ask him is if it smells of dog? Laughing


I take you have never tried to wash a cat then.............

Credit to you though for going to those measures, but i think most folk just accept that if you have a pet in the house, the house will end up smelling of said pet
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:07 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mates cat gets into the shower with him. Shocked
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

rpsmith79
World Chat Champion



Joined: 31 Jan 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:24 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
My mates cat gets into the shower with him. Shocked


I think i'd end up looking like Freddy Krueger if i tried to get any of my cats near a shower/bath
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Baggyman
Crazy Courier



Joined: 20 Feb 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:26 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

rpsmith79 wrote:


I take you have never tried to wash a cat then.............



Just wait until someone you don't like is in the bath and lob the cat in with them - win, win

Twisted Evil

Had to go through shampooing one of hours every couple of days due to it catching something. Only way I could do it was to go fully clothed into the shower cubicle, taking the cat in with me - not a happy cat but it worked
____________________
Old fart
Baghira, modded GS1000 and the T150 I bought in 1978 when I was 21
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:46 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

So much thread hijack.

Thank you Laughing

I was going to ask if a common one is "it smells of dog in here!" ... because I have a dog.

My sister has multiple cats, and that house genuinely made me retch whenever I walked in there. The wave of ammonia.

Also, Grr... do you mop and hoover twice a day? That is some serious commitment to menial labour.

I sweep/clean before planned guests. Unplanned guests can sit in the breadcrumbs.
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

dodsi
Dirty Carny



Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:50 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:
So much thread hijack.

Thank you Laughing

I was going to ask if a common one is "it smells of dog in here!" ... because I have a dog.

My sister has multiple cats, and that house genuinely made me retch whenever I walked in there. The wave of ammonia.

Also, Grr... do you mop and hoover twice a day? That is some serious commitment to menial labour.

I sweep/clean before planned guests. Unplanned guests can sit in the breadcrumbs.


My brother in law often complains about how untidy his sister (my wife) is to me when he comes around the flat.

But other than that our place looks like an untidy show home.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

winz
World Chat Champion



Joined: 05 Feb 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:15 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was dating a girl last summer and when she came back to my flat she said I was posh because it was clean and I had white bedsheets.
____________________
Current Bikes: BMW K1200S
Previous: Honda CBR929RR, Honda CBR1100XX, Honda CB600F
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:28 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

paddywinz wrote:
I had white bedsheets.


Surely that is like having a white car, but with really anxiety causing sex once a month...
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:29 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes I do. My money comes in even if I sit in my PJs all day, my wife however has an office job that comes
with lots of travelling within the UK. She's away so much in fact that it's why we bought the dog, to keep me company
during my days indoors. It would be very easy for me to spiral into a cycle of substance abuse and playstation like a
doley but Puppypants keeps me very busy. We go for a good 1-2hour muddy walk every day which requires a good
lunchtime hoover/mop up after we get home, and I usually hoover/mop again at about 6pm ready for wifeys return to a clean
home and dinner cooked most nights.
Every time the dog goes outside for a wee she brings footprints indoors at this time of year, Crying or Very sad I'm sure I'll have to
mop less when it's a bit dryer, but my back yard has been sodden for weeks.
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:34 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
Yes I do. My money comes in even if I sit in my PJs all day, my wife however has an office job that comes
with lots of travelling within the UK. She's away so much in fact that it's why we bought the dog, to keep me company
during my days indoors. It would be very easy for me to spiral into a cycle of substance abuse and playstation like a
doley but Puppypants keeps me very busy. We go for a good 1-2hour muddy walk every day which requires a good
lunchtime hoover/mop up after we get home, and I usually hoover/mop again at about 6pm ready for wifeys return to a clean
home and dinner cooked most nights.
Every time the dog goes outside for a wee she brings footprints indoors at this time of year, Crying or Very sad I'm sure I'll have to
mop less when it's a bit dryer, but my back yard has been sodden for weeks.


Ok, well then I am jealous sir Thumbs Up
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:42 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I put away the sex toys when you visited, didn't I?



Generally, though ... Laughing

Not many people visit me, admittedly, I seem to be getting a bit hermitty as the years go by.

My house is considerably cleaner, does not smell of dog or inundated with dog hair any more, since Bruno has been gone. We'd all got ourselves into a bit of a rut.

Plus we have *proper* flooring now, so its all easier to keep clean(er). Despite that we have cats. I'm working on decluttering as well... Shifty
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:53 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did have a visitor once who complained my house was hard to find.

a. Like that's my fault?
b. No it's not, it's on the map and street view and in the same street as about a hundred other houses
c. Surely it's their poor sense of direction or failure to own a map or a gps.
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

pepperami
Super Spammer



Joined: 17 Jan 2010
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:03 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Visitor: " hmmm, nice house but blah blah moan niggle"
Me: "feck off you c*nt!"

Thumbs Up job done.
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

thx1138
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 Oct 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:06 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really it is mostly just my in-laws interfering with the garden when I'm not there to stop them, deciding what will and won't grow for me and removing stuff, like chopping ivy down that I'd asked them leave on a tree stump.

The fact that I was a grower in a nursery for 3 years and have half an idea about pot plants means nothing to them, they keep rearranging and removing stuff.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

stinkwheel
Bovine Proctologist



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:32 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

My in-laws spent the entire two days they were over last time looking up local properties on their ipad and pointing them out to us.

I eventually got pissed off with them and told them flat out that we'd chosen this house because we like it and have no intention of moving any time soon.

I then really spoiled their day by telling them how much my monthly mortgage repayments are (I live in rural Cumbria, they live in urban Devon).
____________________
“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

thx1138
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 Oct 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:51 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
I then really spoiled their day by telling them how much my monthly mortgage repayments are (I live in rural Cumbria, they live in urban Devon).


When I stayed in Eskdale, I could not believe how cheap the house was. The one we rented was up for sale, had like 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, huge lounge and kitchen, garage, 1 acre garden, and was less than twice the price of my terrace house

equivalent house in my neighbourhood would be a few million Shocked
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Tracey Suntan-King
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Nov 2012
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:01 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was working, my extremely house proud and domestic sister would criticise my housekeeping standards (it was hardly a hovel) on her rare visits. I responded by telling her how much I earned from my full time, rewarding job (the one which prevented me from dusting the light bulbs) That shut her up.

On a related note, we recently sold a house which was on major A road. Several viewers said after (wasting our time) viewing that they were put off by the A road. Would the location not have been obvious, by the er, address?

Tossers grrrrrr.
____________________
Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

chris-red
Have you considered a TDM?



Joined: 21 Sep 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:34 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Someone we invited round for Christmas dinner said "Your cutlery is shit".

I wouldn't have minded if she was using the shit cutlery we had bought to host 15 people. she wasn't she was using the less than year old fairly Expensive Amefa stuff.

AND she was a fucking vegan. Laughing
____________________
Well, you know what they say. If you want to save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs.
Skudd:- Perhaps she just thinks you are a window licker and is being nice just in case she becomes another Jill Dando.
WANTED:- Fujinon (Fuji) M42 (Screw on) lenses, let me know if you have anything.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

dodsi
Dirty Carny



Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:53 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

chris-red wrote:
Someone we invited round for Christmas dinner said "Your cutlery is shit".

I wouldn't have minded if she was using the shit cutlery we had bought to host 15 people. she wasn't she was using the less than year old fairly Expensive Amefa stuff.

AND she was a fucking vegan. Laughing


Never invite a vegan for dinner.

In fact, never associate with vegans. they have too many and various issues.

Rookie error.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:17 - 23 Mar 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't get me started on bloody vegans. My best mates wife is one and so is my wifes best mate. When my best
mate got married to her all the guests had to eat vegan at her wedding. Not good. A year or so later at my wedding I bent over
backwards (and handed over a disproportionate amount of cash) to make sure my two vegan and one veggie guests
were catered for. The normal people had roast beef. Then she had the cheek to come up to me during the reception and
complain the food she had wasn't imaginative enough and a bit predicatable. Bitch. Middle Finger At least the wifes bestie
doesn't expect everybody else to kowtow to her choice of (attention seeking) diet and brings her own grub
along when she visits.
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts
Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 7 years, 8 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
  Display posts from previous:   
This page may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a visitor clicks through and makes a purchase. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that third-party cookies will be set.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next
Page 1 of 3

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Read the Terms of Use! - Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
 

Debug Mode: ON - Server: birks (www) - Page Generation Time: 0.13 Sec - Server Load: 0.12 - MySQL Queries: 17 - Page Size: 138.77 Kb