Phoning the police

[Jayy]

When was the last time you phoned the police?

What for?

What happened?

Mine was on Wednesday last week, heard loads of noises in the allotments behind the house (which are locked at night, so people were in there). About 6 months prior to this, some little cunts broke in all the sheds, tried garages and did the bowling green and stole a £3,000 generator thing from the allotments.

I could hear them talking to each other quietly and trying to move / drag something about.

Police didn't answer the phone (101) at first, then took a load of details off me, said there was a burglary in progress and they were there now.

1.5 hours later, a plod car rolls in the street, parks outside my house for 20 seconds, then drives off.

Prior to that, was about the attempted break in to my garage and they didn't even come out, not even to any of the neighbours either (who had mountain bikes, lawn mowers n stuff nicked from sheds).

What's the fucking point?

[TbirdX]

Late last year I think.

Saw a lorry on the motorway discharging eastern Europeans out the back, all holding suitcases and running across the motorway. Woman, kids the whole nine yards. Must've been at least forty of them at the side of the road.

Rang plod, 10 minute wait, then couldn't make up their minds if it was Essex police or Met police.

I expect by the time they'd sorted out that pressing problem the lorry and it's former occupants would've been long gone.

Still, we could use a few more architects, brain surgeons and rocket scientists so no harm done really....
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[Commuter_Tim]

A couple of years ago, was in town grabbing my usual Chicken Cottage.
Amidst a lot of screaming, some dirty drunk smackhead decided to grab his smackhead wife by the hair and smash her head into the large window several times.
Not sure if Popo turned up or not, the scumbags went about their way and I went home to eat Chikkuns.

This is probably the only situation I wouldn't just jump in myself, I don't get involved in Radgey domestics.

Did I read incorrectly or did you say you tried 101 first for a robbery in progress?
Isn't that what 999 is for?
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The above post is most likely nonsensical.

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[Ste]

[hellkat]

I can't actually remember the last time I phoned them. Maybe a couple of times re stolen vehicles and well over 5 years ago, but they never show up for that.

A couple of times back in the late 90s/early 2000s, the police have been phoned by other people on my account - relationships with nutters, I dunno how I attract them. *

In 2005 the police once famously phoned us to tell us they were coming round to escort an ambulance that had been called when my crazy ex took an overdose of Temazepam. His name was flagged as being "difficult" and so they showed up whenever his name popped up on the Emergency Services.

But he was a gargling lump on the floor, and it took several of them and the ambulance guys to get him into the ambulance anyway.


*luckily the current one seems relatively sane, but then, compared to those last two, almost anyone would!
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Jayy]

[DRZ4Hunned]

Last year, some drunk drivers hit a roundabout at speed, cleared the roundabout and landed in a ditch. They then ran off down the road.
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[M.C]

Romanian lorry driver crashed into me, refused to give his details, then drove off. Police weren't interested.

[Rogerborg]

On the cover blurb for Wasting Police Time is this sage phrase: "This book will put you off calling the police more than anything except for calling the police".

As someone who works and associates with The Police, I'd call them:

101 to get a crime number for insurance or self-enforcement.
999 in ultimate extremis, once I've shot off the quiver, thrown the axes, and sundered all the swords.
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[stevo as b4]

I think you were mistaken and forgot to tell the police that you saw a group of thugs with knives and at least one firearm being waved around.

[stinkwheel]

Last time I called them was on 101 to let them know someone had turned up and was attempting to repair/start the untaxed, uninsured, unroadworthy, known-to-police-flagged car that I reported as being abandoned in front of my business premesis 3 days previously. Just in case they, you know, wanted to catch someone bang to rights in posession of said car.

It would appear they did not. A solo PCSO drove past about 3 hours later. About 15 minutes after they got it sucessfully started and drove off in a squeal of clutch (yes they were working on it for 2h 45 minutes). I'm not sure if the drive past was related or if they just happened to be there. Being a PCSO, they'd have been fuck-all use anyway, I'm 100% confident the scrotes in question would have piled into the other car and driven off, leaving us back at square 1.
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[Jayy]

This is the thing, people call the plod cunts and then someone replies, "Yeah but you need them when someone attacks you / your family, etc".

I'm not so sure, when you do actually need them, they don't fucking turn up.

[Dave....]

About 20 odd years ago I called the cops to tell them I was about to break into an empty flat next to me.
I then added it was the fact there was a burst pipe and they told me not to do it or I could be arrested.
I didn't want my flat destroyed and the police didn't even turn up whilst I was committing the said offence or anytime after.
All came good and owner thanked me for saving his flat a few days later, maybe the cops turned a blind eye to it but didn't actually want to be seen to be allowing me to do it.

[mentalboy]

[oscar777]

Called them when I had a push bike stolen from back garden about 6 years ago.

Tbf they managed to find the guy and retrieve said bike within the week.
So in that instance I cant say much negative.
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[P.]

Few weeks ago. Watched guy get smashed by a group of guys with a pole.

Called them and said ambulance also, but guys with pole in town attacking people...Ain't game.

They spent a good 10 minutes talking, fuck talking, pull your fingers out and get down here sharpish.

Guy ended up with brain damage

[1198]

I got followed for thirty miles or so down the A38 in Devon late one evening perhaps five years ago. They slowed down and sped up when I did. As we reached a more deserted bit the car stuck on a load of flashing blue lights. As I slowed down and looked for a place to pull up, the car pulled alongside me, saw a fat ugly male rapidly approaching middle age and buggEred off at the rush. The car was a beaten up knackered Mondeo. It looked and felt odd so I rang Plod on 101 and they took it seriously, telling me there was no unmarked cars out in the vicinity that evening and they feared (as I did) that had I been a pretty lady alone it could have been very different. They promptly got a cop car or two in the area looking to see what may be happening g

[c_dug]

I've called them quite a lot in the last ~3 years. Things that spring to mind:

Somebody breaking into a car
Very obviously drunk man getting into car (x2, separate people separate occasions)
Fight in the car park outside my flats
Dangerous objects on the A13 (x3, one 25kg bag of cement/plaster, one wooden pallet smashed to smithereens and littering the road, one pile of cardboard boxes)
Motorcycle thefts in progress (x2, kids doing the whole scooter and back peg jobby).

No.idea whether they solved any of the above, but not reporting them is just massaging crime figures.
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[Stevie GooGs]

A few months ago, was driving down to Inverness and see a slow moving trailer with a boat on it only to then realise its parked on the road..... no vehicle hooked up just sitting there in a 60mph road.
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[mentalboy]

[Nemo]

[Hetzer]

Last three times...

1) Saw a guy being beaten to crap by three other guys, police never turned up.

2) Saw a guy being beaten up by three other guys and I said I was going to get stuck in, police said I'd be arrested if I did, for assault, two police turned up three minutes later.

3) Said I was sat next to a guy on a bench in the park and could smell he was smoking a joint, ten police turned up one minute later.

I might have made all that up, but thousands of other people haven't.
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[Omega]

The good:-
I ring them quite often when people block my gate. They're usually pretty good at getting cars moved and can fine them for it.

The not so good:-
We reported a pram stolen from our shed. They couldn't do much obviously and we didn't even expect them to respond. We just wanted it to be logged so they can see how bad the crime is in the area. Within a couple of days we heard through Facebook of an identical pram being sold nearby. We rang the police early in the morning and they said they'd go visit. Rang again that evening and they suggested that we go and knock on ourselves because they had no one available. We ended up putting the lad who lived there in our car and driving him to his mum's house to prove that he hadn't stolen the pram (which he hadn't). Not good for anyone involved.

The same day someone had been stabbed in Manchester centre so most of the police force went there instead. They had officers just stood around overseeing a crime scene. Seems to be standard police practice. All flock to something that they can't do anything about. They should have people who investigate crimes and people who respond to emergencies. Keep it separate. Employ minimum wage security to babysit crime scenes etc.

[Ste]

[Kickstart]

Hi

Think the last time I rang them was when I was first on the scene of a bike accident on my way to work. Rider was barely concious lying face down in the hedge. Called for an ambulance and the police. They did turn up.

A couple of years after that our neighbour called the police for us when they spotted someone nicking things from our back garden. Police turned up a few days later to take a statement. Despite having the registration number of the van used they did next to nothing; it was a month before they decided whether it was worth putting the registration number out to be pulled up if seen.

All the best

Katy
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