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Doom gloom and chains

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Skudd
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PostPosted: 19:37 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Doom gloom and chains Reply with quote

Well I've done it. Married what I will now call ' Her indoors' life is all over now.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 20:08 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank allah for rohypnol. What's the plan for when she comes to her senses though?
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 20:23 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

You ought to be aware that you'll not need twice as much toilet roll, you';l need quadruple with a lady in the house.
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BTTD
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PostPosted: 21:11 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
You ought to be aware that you'll not need twice as much toilet roll, you';l need quadruple with a lady in the house.


She's not lying - if anything I would say possibly understating the consumption.
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Andy_Pagin
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're money will henceforth not only go on things you never thought you needed, but on things you never knew existed.
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Alpineandy
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PostPosted: 23:45 - 20 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats



Although commiserations on having had your last ever BJ....
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 00:03 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guess what I will be doing tonight.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
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Alpineandy
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PostPosted: 00:09 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
Guess what I will be doing tonight.

I'd guess at 'Sleeping' Laughing
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CaNsA
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PostPosted: 00:10 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
Guess what I will be doing tonight.


Thanking Judd for not running a a mile each time you fart.
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bamt
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PostPosted: 00:21 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
Guess what I will be doing tonight.


Spending your wedding night posting on BCF? Very Happy

Congratulations.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 01:30 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thumbs Up
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dodsi
Dirty Carny



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PostPosted: 18:18 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Andy_Pagin wrote:
You're money will henceforth not only go on things you never thought you needed, but on things you never knew existed.


Example: yesterday we bought 2 shower basket shelves and 1 toothbrush holder for the new bathroom we are having fitted in a couple of weeks. They cost over £200. Shocked Neutral

I think they call it 'nesting'.

Congrats though!
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 19:23 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
Guess what I will be doing tonight.


Watching Songs of Praise on BBC iPlayer then having a wank in the bog.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 19:24 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

dodsi wrote:
yesterday we bought 2 shower basket shelves and 1 toothbrush holder for the new bathroom we are having fitted in a couple of weeks. They cost over £200. Shocked Neutral

I think they call it 'nesting'.


I think they call it daylight fucking robbery.
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 21:19 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
Guess what I will be doing tonight.


Decorating.
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oldpink
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PostPosted: 21:47 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can confirm the Bogroll usage
we have a full pack of 18 in the toilet and the wife came in with this tonight so we have approx 66 roll's
should be good for about a week Laughing
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 22:03 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

My missus likes them soggy wet wipe thingies.

Do you know there is even a system on how to wipe your bum properly on the Andrex ones Laughing

From what I remember it's use 2 sheets of dry and then the soggy wet ones to get your bum smelling of roses.

I told her it was cheaper to stick the shower head up her arse.
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bamt
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PostPosted: 22:16 - 21 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

You old romantic you!
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Alpineandy
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PostPosted: 01:33 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
I told her it was cheaper to stick the shower head up her arse.

See if you can buy an 'Enema' attachment for her Laughing
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 11:38 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
My missus ,I told her it was cheaper to stick the shower head up her arse.

You silver tongued old devil, you could charm the birds out of the trees couldn't you Smile Thumbs Up
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B5234FT
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PostPosted: 11:43 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
My missus likes them soggy wet wipe thingies.

Do you know there is even a system on how to wipe your bum properly on the Andrex ones Laughing

From what I remember it's use 2 sheets of dry and then the soggy wet ones to get your bum smelling of roses.

I told her it was cheaper to stick the shower head up her arse.


Wait until you see the cost of fixing the drains...
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andys675
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PostPosted: 11:47 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

bought 18 rolls Saturday as was going out on my bike all day sunday, when I got back at 5pm there were only 14 rolls left

excluding sleeping that's 1 roll every 4 hours............

was looking to see if the deep fat fryer had been used as sure someone is eating them
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 12:13 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
Do you know there is even a system on how to wipe your bum properly on the Andrex ones Laughing

From what I remember it's use 2 sheets of dry and then the soggy wet ones to get your bum smelling of roses.


2 sheets? I take it that's for people who don't need looroll when they've been. Mine's usually like trying to empty a full jar of Nutella with Q-Tips.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 12:22 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

andys675 wrote:
bought 18 rolls Saturday as was going out on my bike all day sunday, when I got back at 5pm there were only 14 rolls left

excluding sleeping that's 1 roll every 4 hours............

was looking to see if the deep fat fryer had been used as sure someone is eating them


That is frightening Shocked Laughing
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dodsi
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PostPosted: 13:05 - 22 May 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

But gentlemen, remember ladies have twice the number of bottoms to wipe than we do. Exclamation

The more you know...
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Old Thread Alert!

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