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feeling down for no reason

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andyscooter
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PostPosted: 07:51 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: feeling down for no reason Reply with quote

this is more of an off load then any advice needed really

but life is going well

in a job I enjoy got money coming in

just feel really low

I used to suffer with depression and this was stress related

but have no stress at the moment really
we have a holiday booked for next month
days out booked all over july as well but just cant seem to get excited about it

don't want to go back to tablets as I managed to get through loesing my dad and sister last year without them
but I just feel like I could walk away from everything somthimes
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P.
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PostPosted: 08:27 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feel that once in a while. I'm still unsure why, quite happy.

Part of me thinks it's due to me not actually dealing with all my previous issues. Might be worth just a sit down with someone impartial and just having a moan or chat.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 10:14 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paddy. wrote:
Feel that once in a while. I'm still unsure why, quite happy.

Part of me thinks it's due to me not actually dealing with all my previous issues. Might be worth just a sit down with someone impartial and just having a moan or chat.


That's why he's moaning to BCF Paddy. No one could ever accuse us of not being good listeners. It's the advice after that is a bit dubious. - You have aids, ebola, can I have your bike/missus when you top yourself etc Laughing
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M.C
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PostPosted: 10:28 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think with depression it's easy to get into the habit of wanting to feel down, as strange as that sounds. If that's 'normal' for you, it'll feel strange when you're not feeling depressed, so even when things are going well you'll feel more miserable than you ought to.
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BTTD
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PostPosted: 13:04 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like things are going pretty well for you right now, but is there any real direction? If you haven't got anything specific to aim at you can end up feeling a bit lost and a bit meh about everything. Maybe you need something to fire you out of bed in the morning (not literally).
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:06 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can give you plenty of reasons to be depressed if you like? At least then your depression won't be pointless Smile
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DrSnoosnoo
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PostPosted: 13:10 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's probably because of Brexit. Everything else is.
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angryjonny
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PostPosted: 14:44 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

When life is going badly you've got lots to stress about. This keeps your mind busy. When the stress disappears your mind has plenty of time to get on with being miserable.

I get uneasy when I'm relaxed and happy because it feels like I'm being reckless. Surely there's some quality worrying I should be getting on with.

The brain is a weird thing.
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Tracer1234
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PostPosted: 14:47 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perhaps is the endless disappointment and frustration of the ScamPal. The feeling that will never live up to the excitement of owning the worlds only helmet rain wiper.

On a serious note, have you tried your local Iapt services. E.g. Round here I think it is Italk.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 14:53 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get like that when I haven't slept properly. The recent hot spell put me in a right downer. I've slept OK the last couple of nights and am feeling quite a bit better.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 15:07 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarJay wrote:
I get like that when I haven't slept properly. The recent hot spell put me in a right downer. I've slept OK the last couple of nights and am feeling quite a bit better.

I think a lack of sleep causes more depression than people realise. After a newborn etc., unfortunately with me it's stress that brings on sleep trouble, so it's a bit of a vicious circle.
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Alpineandy
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PostPosted: 15:29 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell Mrs Scooter the problem and let her know you've worked out the cure.
It involves getting blown a couple of times every week, and would she like to take part or should you go elsewhere for this cure... Wink
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duhawkz
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PostPosted: 18:53 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I infer from some of your previous posts you seem to drink a fair bit, perhaps ease off the ale for a while see if things look different in couple of months
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Pete.
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Exercise more.
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drbaig
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PostPosted: 21:25 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pete. wrote:
Exercise more.


This is good fucking advice. Endorphin release.
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notabikeranym...
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PostPosted: 21:47 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this sort of shitty depression can hit anyone regardless how healthy or how much sleep you get.

I feel you OP, I'm pretty much plagued by the demons in my own head all the time and can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy without wondering why I don't feel so shit at that moment. Have had plenty of suicidal thoughts at the worst of times, albeit whenever I do/did get them I wouldn't ever act on them (combination of knowing its stupid to act on temporary feelings, being too scared to even attempt it then feeling worse for not having the guts to do it, and not wanting to hurt family).

The funny thing is, nobody around me really knows any of that and I come across cheerful to people in person, although close family know I've struggled with it a bit in the past when there were stressful times added on top. Just the other day my colleague turned around to me and was like "How are you always so happy?" which I felt very puzzled about.

Also @Pete. regarding exercise,

When I was eating clean, cycling up to 30km a day, and banging out calisthenics workouts daily with some buddies, I still had the same fucked up head that I've always had where at one moment I can be blissfully ignorant and cheerful, and the next moment I'm emotionally numb and don't want to get out of bed/dont even have the motivation to go outside.

Don't know why it happens and could never voluntarily fix it, I would hit real lows and then just crawl out of it slowly without knowing how or why. I live a more sedentary lifestyle now than I used to when I was 18/19/20, but nothing has changed in my head.

When stress was high it would multiply all of the shittiness by tenfold so I'm glad I live a kinda stress free lifestyle now so it's settled down a bit.

I don't earn a lot or have a job I enjoy but I wouldn't say I'm struggling to get by or anything so I don't think it's being caused by anything tbf.

I totally get what you mean by not being able to get excited for stuff too OP. It gets to the point sometimes where I would question why I was doing things and what the point is of any of this, I think that's an existential crisis?

I think this is why I got a motorbike in the first place and why I focus on it so much, because it's fun enough to distract me from my own shitty head.

What I do know is that these feelings aren't forever, you shouldn't act on temporary feelings, and you can look forward to some good days even though right now it probably feels impossible.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 22:14 - 29 Jun 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's probably a good time to add I learnt depressed people shouldn't really help other depressed people. Had this with a friend, we just dragged each other down Neutral Regarding the exercise thing I don't think it really helps your mood, unless you say go for a nice bike ride somewhere, but being tired definitely helps you sleep (as obvious that sounds).

You can have the odd situation where you're physically tired but still awake mentally, but sometimes your brain will relent. I dunno it's a tough one, if you did come up with a happiness pill you'd be on your way to becoming an Adam Aarons millionaire.

I do think their are influencing factors, maybe we don't always recognise them, but I don't believe people are destined to always be unhappy. I think it's more a case of dealing with problems poorly (beating yourself up over nothing etc.), and as I mentioned earlier when you've been through depression for a while, it's easy for that to become the normal you.

Also you can fear falling back into depression, so can stop yourself enjoying things as much as you otherwise would, to try and avoid the downward spiral if that makes sense.
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andyscooter
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PostPosted: 08:17 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

only just got round to adding to this

think a lot of my problem is I don't get a lot of free time anymore to do things I want to

when I got down before the dr told me to basically get another bigger bike and get out as at the time its what I liked to do

buying another bike isn't an option really and even if I did I wouldn't be able to ride it as daughter is at home after work until mrs gets in and then its food time and putting daughter to bed so its half eight before I get five minutes
after being on my feet all day I just want to chill out by then
weekends are a no no as mrs works Saturday so have day with daughter on my own and sunday we do things as a family
this was part of the reason I bought the mg so I could take daughter out and still get fresh air round me but it didn't work
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 08:46 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its important to remember it's natural for our mood to fluctuate and not unnatural. For all your life is otherwise going well there is a lot going on these days that is sad and challenging to witness and no suprise people can have low mood. I would advise letting things run their course but if you still feel this way in a month then see someone about it. In the meantime maybe try doing something different from your usual activities and a very effective way of improving your sense of well-being is actually do something for someone else. Either in your personal network or through something charitable. Dont shy away from having a go at a self help book eithet, for liw level mood problems they are known to be actually quite effective. Better weather forecast this weekend as well Thumbs Up
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J4mes
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PostPosted: 08:53 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

andyscooter wrote:
only just got round to adding to this

think a lot of my problem is I don't get a lot of free time anymore to do things I want to

when I got down before the dr told me to basically get another bigger bike and get out as at the time its what I liked to do

buying another bike isn't an option really and even if I did I wouldn't be able to ride it as daughter is at home after work until mrs gets in and then its food time and putting daughter to bed so its half eight before I get five minutes
after being on my feet all day I just want to chill out by then
weekends are a no no as mrs works Saturday so have day with daughter on my own and sunday we do things as a family
this was part of the reason I bought the mg so I could take daughter out and still get fresh air round me but it didn't work


Then as someone posted above, exercise. You can run any time of the day or night, after work, before, before your missus goes to work, maybe even during your lunch break at work?

I'm fat and injury prone, but still find running really relaxing. Most other dads I know who run say the same - they do it for the exercise benefits, and to get them out to have time on their own. Listen to some music, be out in the air, away from people who always want/need something from you!

Also, talk to your missus about it. Perhaps agree with her that one Sunday a month you're having a day to yourself to get out on the bike, see some mates, start a new hobby,and she can have a mother/daughter day.

I've been in the same boat and felt my whole life revolved around doing things for other people - work, daughter, wife, so I made sure I get out running a couple of evenings a week and one saturday morning a month I go shooting with my buddies.

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hellkat
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PostPosted: 11:37 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Try stepping out of your routine momentarily.

I know this sounds really corny but when was the last time you NOTICED what else was going on around you, either in the world, or directly under your nose.

I'm not talking about the dire state of the world and/or counting your blessings, but I am talking from a much more hippy aspect: stop, smell the coffee, pick the flowers. Appreciate something that you ordinarily wouldn't even notice in your day to day life.

Random example: even if you have a dog/like dogs, then make a decision to pat every dog you see, and ask the owners its name, for the whole day. You don't have to engage them in conversation, beyond "Oh what a lovely/sweet/handsome dog, what's its name?" Then just say "Hello [Bowser], lovely boy", scratch its ears, see the joy in the owners' faces and then just say goodbye. Do it ALL day. Cos then you are compelled to engage with every dog, not just one.

If you're allergic to dogs, or want to feel socially responsible, then maybe set a small sum, £1, 50p, even 20p, and put that into the "tin cup" of EVERY person you see sleeping rough (not necessarily begging, just who are sleeping rough - cos you have to often seek them out, you have to properly SEE them).

Or just literally stop and smell a flower growing in someone's garden along your road. I know, I know: girlie and hippyish, but when was the last time you actually went past (for example) a garden full of differently coloured roses and stopped to smell the difference between, say, a red one and an orange one? But it has to be a flower in a GARDEN, not a bouquet, cos the point is to retrain yourself to notice things around you, not which are shoved in your face, promoted by other people.

Don't be embarrassed, afraid or ashamed to insert yourself into the life that is going on around you EVERYWHERE.

Take an hour or two to take yourself (and nobody else) to the cinema. Go see Despicable Me 3, just for LOLs. Buy popcorn. Flick it at people in the dark.

And wear sunscreen...
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M.C
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PostPosted: 11:57 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Take an hour or two to take yourself (and nobody else) to the cinema. Go see Despicable Me 3, just for LOLs. Buy popcorn. Flick it at people in the dark.

Maybe take in the autism screening:
https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/autism-friendly-film-screenings-various-cinemas-check-link-for-next-film-being-shown-1676990 Thinking
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 12:19 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why not indeed. Families with autistic children also go unnoticed. And yet they soldier on, coping with it, and you never notice, other than with a passer-by sense of mild irritation along the lines of "What's that brat up to??" But the point of the movie-going exercise is to do something for yourself.

Autistic family watching is another exercise you could do, much the same as sitting in Outpatients and observing the patients who come in, wondering how someone with Parkinson's drinks their tea, how someone with a new hip goes to the toilet, how someone with Down syndrome manages to survive life to a ripe old age nowadays, we used to be encouraged to routinely abort those... because their quality of life was considered to be severely diminished. How?

Scootie-geez, you could do worse than take a day off and spend it *really* people-watching. Find a cafe with outside tables, buy a coffee/tea/smoothie (no, go on, try one of them funky things) - but not beer, cos we all know that drinking probably won't help, it might just make you feel worse - and for as many hours as you can manage, just sit and watch what goes on in the smallest of moments of other people's lives.

Sometimes, the small moments you see into those lives, are the biggest moments for those people.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 12:57 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anyway, enough patronising hellkat-speak for one day.

Why not just dress up as a clown for a day and carry some balloons.
Or if you're one of those people that are freaked out by clowns ( Laughing ) think of something else, some other mad costume. Just walk around the town centre all day.

After all, who's gonna know its you?
Fuck it, do something daft.
Step out of yourself.

You never know what might come of it.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 14:01 - 01 Jul 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:


Random example: even if you have a dog/like dogs, then make a decision to pat every dog you see


inb4 arm ripped off by vicious Rottweiler.
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