Thoughts on potential manipulation...

[The999Kid]

[ScaredyCat]

[P.]

I say fuck him, not literally.

Bun him off, I'd do it, ain't even mad.

[TbirdX]

He loves you and wants bum sex.

Only you can decide who's the pilot and who's the navigator.
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VFR800X - TTR250

[M.C]

[stevo as b4]

Personally I'd have thought about it, and picked the weekend activity that I thought would be best both to keep people happy and also the one id enjoy most. Then totally bale on the other thing and say soz mate something came up unavoidable like.

Telling friend your off to a house party is a bit of a pisser IMO, I'd have said boss has dragged me in on short notice urgent overtime or something, like your babysitting as your missus sister is ill etc. Anything but the truth basically!

Trying to do a bit of two different activities or plans for the weekend just fucks off both lots of people and I'd never do that trying to spread myself around and please everyone shit. Pick a thing and do it and just have the excuse ready for the person you baled on, even if it's just (I was puking all weekend cos of a bloody bug the kids picked up etc).

[c_dug]

Arguing with people is natural, I've had huge arguments with some of my best friends in the past, they're usually short, to the point, and done in minutes, the fallout might last a bit longer but that's natural.

Bickering though? Like school girls?

Not worth it.

Bickering is what siblings do. Bickering goes on and on and on, he said, she said, you did this and I said that.

Honestly fuck that. Not worth it.

Say your bit and be done with it, a friend might be annoyed at first, but if they are a good enough friend they'll come to terms with the fact that you have a difference of opinion on something and then move on...

...or, they wont come to terms with it, and then you're not really compatible as friends.
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I am a bellend, I am a man of constant sorrow, I am a gummy bear, I am a rock.

[Clanger]

I wonder if perhaps he's invested too much emotional stuff into this because he still believes 'there might be a chance with you' at the end of the day.

He probably thinks you've been giving him mixed signals - whereas in fact you are just trying to be his friend. Tricky situation.

You need to have the face-to-face.
Sit him down and tell him straight "I like you, but I don't fancy you. I enjoy your company and would like to continue being friends. However, this over-dramatic masterpiece that you served me about Paddle Round the Pier - is one of the reasons you are making it difficult for me to remain friends with you. I don't need this emotional crap from a friend. I made a mistake, I double booked. It happens. I could have said 'sorry cancel that event, its too much like hard work', however because you're my friend, I wanted to do both".

Then if he turns around and says he wants more, etc. etc. You tell him again, "I don't fancy you. I want friendship only. If that isn't good enough, just tell me and *shrug* we'll go our separate ways. Its a shame because I like you as a friend.

Basically repeat the word friend and emphasis it. And repeat the same thing over and over to whatever he throws at you.

If he doesn't accept it, its time to walk.
Has to be done face-to-face though.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss

[TbirdX]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32s-q3H56qE
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VFR800X - TTR250

[sensi5446]

What ever happened to,

Shit mate, I double booked.

No worries mate, let me know when your next down.

[Clanger]

[stevo as b4]

If that's the case, and OP really wants to piss off said friend for being too dramatic and needy, then just pick a name of someone who you both know. And say sorry mate I couldn't come paddle boating, as you know big Daz from down the pub, well I've been round his place sucking him off all weekend.

That'll really twist him up inside I bet you, and you'll never hear from him again most likely.

[sensi5446]

[Tracer1234]

[Pjay]

I'd be pissed if you let me down like that, to be fair.
A year in the making and you double book a fucking house party?

I'd have told you to fuck off and that you're dead to me.

I'm sure you'd love a 'paddle round the pier' with him
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struan80 - I'll go first - satisfied tick 1

[M.C]

[hellkat]

Needy. Very very needy.

I say this because I recognise myself in those bitching texts of his, and I've struggled for many years to avoid sending ones very similar to that; eventually my pride (sorry!) got the better of me and I refuse to send messages like that if I can possibly stop myself.

Turning up on Sunday after the houseparty, you are going to be made to feel like a bad bastard, before or after the event. So you aren't going to enjoy it, if he is only going to snipe all the way through it.

Am I right in understanding that Paddle round the Pier is a two day event? Personally I would have spent the Saturday (day) at PRTP, invited him to come to housepartyland if he really wanted to (I think he does?) but if he said no thanks (whether he meant it or not), then possibly return to PRTP at some point the following day (post hangover).

Either way, you're going to be "in the doghouse" no matter how reasonable you try to be to justify yourself. And I'm certain you won't be the only one who knows it. No matter what you do, you will be the villain of the piece.

Basically, I agree with Conan. Bickering is for siblings. You've tried to state your point with reasoning and maturity, but he is being a diva.

Go to the houseparty. If he can't drop the slight and makes the Sunday thing a nightmare for you both, then reconsider the terms of your relationship.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Polarbear]

No one has determined the real reason for his angst.

He thinks you'd rather go to Milton Keynes than meet him.

Cruel cruel person.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[Rogerborg]

[arry]

[The999Kid]

Conclusion: I went to both days of paddle round the pier... he was entirely nice and was an awesome weekend.

Spent the late afternoons kayak surfing with him watching me on the beach, wish I had a go pro cos the final surf into the beach on Sunday evening was on top of a 4ft wave and was a proper skid up the beach with applause and cheers from the onlooking crowds sunbathing.

He also won a surfboard (read:bought a surfboard off a fat lady who won it in a raffle for a 3rd of its retail price)

So I guess that had something to do with it...
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter

[Rogerborg]

I think that was the right thing to do. I'm glad it worked out for you.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[LustyLew]

You looked so happy together...
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Like a Yorkie - I'm not for the girls

[B5234FT]

Definitely needy! However, one has to ask about the prior history.

On the face of this, I'd say as a one off he's being unreasonable. Reading his comments however would suggest this isnt the first time this has happened.

I've had people in my life who would make plans and fail to follow through on them, leaving me in the lurch, having turned down doing other things. Those people are not longer in my life.

Stop being indignant about this weekend and have an honest look at the last couple of years. Friendship isnt about whether you would be bothered, its about the other person. If you don't like the way they are, dont be friends.

[hellkat]