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Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- room?

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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 20:19 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- room? Reply with quote

So, I just moved in to a 6 room shared apartment.

6 rooms, two bathrooms, one kitchens... 6 people.

We have been here for about one month. Already the cleaning has gone to shit, there are arguments about fridge and freezer space, and all of us are mature men used to having far more space.

So what does one of the delights spring on me today...

"By the way, my cousin will stay with me for one month in my room. Is it ok?"

Confused

He is from Azherbaijan, and so his cousin doesn't speak any English. He is in the room next door to me, and is staying here so he can go to work in the area without paying rent.

I am not amused.

What is fair in this situation? Rent is not cheap here, and so he is just doing it to maximise his one month's earnings. That's it.

Extra people using bathroom in morning. Extra people using kitchen. Extra situations where the common area is just using Russian (we have one other Russian speaker living here). More risk of security issues. More noise in the evening from the room next door.

Lots of assurances that it won't be an issue.

Lots of assurances there is no risk for security... cousin and got European visa.

What would you guys do?
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 20:40 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Move.
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Ted
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PostPosted: 20:51 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

a) Put up with it
b) Kick up a stink, and constantly look over your shoulder at the 5-6 guys you've possibly upset by whistle blowing to the landlord
c) Move
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 21:05 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd celebrate the rich diversity and the low environmental footprint. The glow of righteous satisfaction would be reward enough.
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P.
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PostPosted: 22:40 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

thx1138 wrote:
Move.


Exactly that. If rent isn't cheap there... Then you are paying a lot to be unhappy, which is why you've posted here Smile

Move, if landlord says no because xyz, then shop in Mr middle East and drop a shit in this room.
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asta1
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PostPosted: 22:51 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a similar situation year before last.

Uni house, 5 people, bloke wanted his girlfriend to stay with us for a month at the end of the summer term.

Rule we agreed to in the end was that any person staying more than a fortnight was not just a guest and therefore had to pay their share of bills and rent.

She wasn't happy, but if you have to deal with peoples shit there should at least be a financial incentive...
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Ste
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PostPosted: 22:53 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Block both toilets then blame it on the Ruskies
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 23:38 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Student dorms, 260 euro/month all bills paid.

Private market ~400/month and very tight here.

I live a solid 6km cycle from uni so already not delighted by it.

Issue isn't bills as included in rent.

Issue is increased usage of limited space and utilities, and general social awkwardness of bringing in a non-english speaking squatter.

The guy who did it is already in my bad books for several reasons, and he dropped that line just after I was stuck trying to explain basic maths to another member of our flat (incapable of working out how to share 2 fridges with three shelves each between 6 people).

We are still waiting for the bin fairy too.

So, my main reason I started this thread is:

Is it reasonable to be annoyed by this, to the extent of putting my foot down?

Either way it has ruined the half way relaxed atmosphere of the place; whatever the outcome I will be uncomfortable now.
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 23:46 - 04 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

The problem with a lot of people is they don't vocalise their frustrations and they don't put their foot down on such things.


Just say no and that's the end of that. If he wants to stay then pay. Exactly like the other people living there.

Being passive aggressive, ranting online will change nothing.


The only way not speaking up is acceptable is if this person is important to your future.

Myself for instance I do not peeve off village leaders or their sons and daughters. If they choose to put a spanner in my construction works it can delay them considerably.
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 00:00 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

heh, I used to live in a religious commune with about 20 others
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 00:29 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

thx1138 wrote:
heh, I used to live in a religious commune with about 20 others


I'm happy for you Thumbs Up

@Itchy- I told him at the time it was unreasonable. A few days/a week, asked ahead of time. Fine.

Move him in and casually ask as an afterthought, no.

My reason to "passive aggressively whine" is to find out how reasonable it is, in these circumstances, to be arsed off.

I am genuinely pissed to be put in a no win situation when I have more than enough other stuff to think about, but that is more reason to verify a genuine issue before I go full retard about it.
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"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 00:30 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pay who?

50 euros to each of us, or what?

How would you proceed from this position?
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"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 00:38 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:


Move him in and casually ask as an afterthought, no.

My reason to "passive aggressively whine" is to find out how reasonable it is, in these circumstances, to be arsed off.

I am genuinely pissed to be put in a no win situation when I have more than enough other stuff to think about, but that is more reason to verify a genuine issue before I go full retard about it.


You are not in a no win situation.

Phone your landlord and report illegal subletting.

I just looked online and illegal subletting despite stronger tenancy laws is a common break clause.

He and friend gets kicked out. Life goes on stress levels decrease.

It's not like a major incident where somebody tries to kill you and you have to get your hands dirty and chop up bo....
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 01:18 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:


You are not in a no win situation.

Phone your landlord and report illegal subletting.

I just looked online and illegal subletting despite stronger tenancy laws is a common break clause.

He and friend gets kicked out. Life goes on stress levels decrease.

It's not like a major incident where somebody tries to kill you and you have to get your hands dirty and chop up bo....


I disagree.

He will not be evicted,he will just be asked to remove his friend.

And then my living situation will be shitty, especially if other housemates had no issue with it and think I've over reacted…

… Hence, is it unreasonable to be pissed off?
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"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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nowhere.elysium
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PostPosted: 01:30 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

The short answer is if it pisses you off, then it pisses you off. Stop asking us for validation: you're not happy with it, so express your displeasure.
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 01:53 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

nowhere.elysium wrote:
The short answer is if it pisses you off, then it pisses you off. Stop asking us for validation: you're not happy with it, so express your displeasure.


Everything pisses me off Laughing
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"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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dodsi
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PostPosted: 09:50 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shared living, it’s a nightmare. I completely understand your anguish and most people don’t think ahead to the extra stress on utilities until they are waiting outside the bathroom for the non rent paying ‘guest’ to finish his 45 min shower routine at exactly the time that they need to leave for work etc.

Only solution is to move, which then means you end up with some other situation caused by somebody else.
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 11:05 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I had already emailed the rental company to ask about hypothetical guests in hypothetical rooms.

Should get me some sort of answer.

"But I will put in more toilet paper, what is problem? Shake hand?"

Brick Wall:palm:

Like I say, moving is not really an option.

Risk of petty revenge for the rest of my time here is shit.

Stuck dealing with random middle aged mute using our already busy shared facilities for a month! is equally shit.

So Itchy, no win situation. I may still have my room, but I either tolerate an extra body for no bonus, or create an unpleasant living situation within barely weeks of moving in.

I have lived in plenty of rough housing situations, I had just hoped this wouldn't turn out to be one of them.
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"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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linuxyeti
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PostPosted: 11:06 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

1 month, is it really that bad?? I used to live in a shared house, the 4 of us all paid rent, and over the 3 years we shared, each of us girlfriends move in for varying lengths of time, have other multiple friends sleeping on the living room for varying amounts of time ..

You either like living in shared accomodation, for all it's good & bad points, or you don't, it seems you don't really, so, perhaps you should be looking at some form of single occupancy. Alternatively, if you can get a group of people you are comfortable with, and get accomodation with them .. Beware though, whilst you might be comfortable / happy with them now, that may not remain the case if you share accomodation
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 11:08 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rogerborg wrote:
I'd celebrate the rich diversity and the low environmental footprint. The glow of righteous satisfaction would be reward enough.


Diversity, meh.

However, as a living system they are very efficient uses of space. Compact with large kitchens, and a good amount of space/utilities for six people with very occasional guests.

If I have land and time, I might build something similar in future Thumbs Up
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"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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Sun Wukong
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PostPosted: 11:19 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

linuxyeti wrote:
1 month, is it really that bad?? I used to live in a shared house, the 4 of us all paid rent, and over the 3 years we shared, each of us girlfriends move in for varying lengths of time, have other multiple friends sleeping on the living room for varying amounts of time ..


Aye, I've met incredibly tolerant people in my time. Usually there is some sort of Quid Pro Quo about it though.
Or there is plenty of space/established schedules so no one gets in each others way.
We are rushing around like crazy to try to get to uni at random times from this fairly remote dorm already, so an extra body to badly time a shit or shower is not something I enjoy.
General rule is like 2 weeks for visiting friends, any more than that is moving in.
Visiting friends are more flexible because they are not working themselves, so will fit around the household members better.

Quote:


You either like living in shared accomodation, for all it's good & bad points, or you don't, it seems you don't really, so, perhaps you should be looking at some form of single occupancy. Alternatively, if you can get a group of people you are comfortable with, and get accomodation with them .. Beware though, whilst you might be comfortable / happy with them now, that may not remain the case if you share accomodation


Oh yeh, I fucking hate it. For sure.

Unfortunately, I just moved to Stuttgart to become a full time student. It's hard enough living on your own in the west, but next to impossible as a student in this city.

The diversity element does make it a bit tougher. Not a single European with me, again all mature students but with odd habits. We are on week two of waiting for the bin fairy (we have contracted cleaning shifts, I did mine with the Korean two weeks ago).

Moving to a privately rented shared room might be a better option, especially nearer to university. As long as people leave me the fuck alone, and don't make noise after midnight (or before 8am), I don't really have problems staying in groups.
But it is ballache, and expense. Would cost me a lot of time to find it, another 100-200 euro a month, plus some loss on overlapping rents.
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"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:39 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Personally, I'd draft you into the military, so you can learn to get along in less than ideal circumstances Laughing
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MattEMulsion
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PostPosted: 14:17 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sublet your room out too, see how they like it!!! Thumbs Up
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Rob Fzs
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PostPosted: 15:04 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surely against regulations anyway so inform mr landlord , rather than having to put up with other peoples shit
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