Resend my activation email : Register : Log in 
BCF: Bike Chat Forums


Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- room?

Reply to topic
Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
View previous topic : View next topic  
Author Message

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 15:21 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually spent this morning chasing dates to firm up my break periods to start looking for work contracts.

Can sublet my room while not using it, common practice here. Chucking a mattress on the floor to earn an extra 100 a month is not worth the sadness.

Working in term is possible but not required hopefully (see above points), and would be a poor use of my time unless a good job comes up (keeping eyes open,obviously). Luckily I saved hard all year (as those who saw the GS would know Laughing) and dont spend much generally. I am just trying to minimise my outgoings, hence reluctance to change apartment for the sake of it.

Military is rule by force often. I don't fancy implimenting those tye of people skills Laughing
Believe me, I've lived in farworse situations with far worse people in hot and sweaty climates that don't aid my zen state. Successfully, might I add.

I was merely pointing out "If it annoys you, fix it!"is not so constructive advice if that would lead to controlling behaviour due to basically wanting to live alone. Compromise is important.
This particular situation feels unfair/a pisstake. I was hoping for opinions on the situation. I got some of those. Confused
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

chickenstrip
Super Spammer



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:14 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:


Military is rule by force often. I don't fancy implimenting those tye of people skills Laughing


In the military, if you're astute enough, you can learn how to get people on your side without the kind of discipline you think it is all about. How to get the best out of people around you, even when everyone is different (yes, people in the military still have individual personalities Shocked ), what motivates people.

I don't think you understand the military at all, frankly.
Of course, I don't really expect you to join the military, but I do think you could learn something from the experience. You don't see me creating threads asking advice from a bunch of (almost) complete strangers, about problems in my life, for one thing (although I think I know what your reply to that will be Laughing ). Some things you just have to learn to deal with for yourself Wink
In this particular case, one thing that does occur to me is that you are imagining all kinds of problems that haven't even happened yet. Is that fair to say?
____________________
Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Itchy
Super Spammer



Joined: 07 Apr 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:20 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nope.

What you are doing is you're paralysed by possible outcomes that may not even happen.

Here's the thing you say it yourself you're all busy. How likely is it you're going to interact significantly with the people who you think are going to be annoyed by your actions?

If it's just in passing then it's nothing.

If you have to spend countless hours being moaned about it then and a long time in the future being annoyed about it then your considerations may be valid.

But give it 7 months and they're a footnote in your memory.
____________________
Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

M.C
Super Spammer



Joined: 29 Sep 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:47 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
Sun Wukong wrote:


Military is rule by force often. I don't fancy implimenting those tye of people skills Laughing


In the military, if you're astute enough, you can learn how to get people on your side without the kind of discipline you think it is all about. How to get the best out of people around you, even when everyone is different (yes, people in the military still have individual personalities Shocked ), what motivates people.

I don't think you understand the military at all, frankly.

We get ex-military management at work (the company seems to like them), and they seem to think the discipline way (in other words being a c**t) works best... it doesn't. I appreciate cuntyness seems to be a management trait, but they're something special. F**k having to go to war with for these people.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

chickenstrip
Super Spammer



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:49 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:


In the military, if you're astute enough, you can learn how to get people on your side without the kind of discipline you think it is all about. How to get the best out of people around you, even when everyone is different (yes, people in the military still have individual personalities Shocked ), what motivates people.

I don't think you understand the military at all, frankly.

We get ex-military management at work (the company seems to like them), and they seem to think the discipline way (in other words being a c**t) works best... it doesn't. I appreciate cuntyness seems to be a management trait, but they're something special.


Wink
____________________
Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

linuxyeti
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Karma :

PostPosted: 18:35 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:
......and don't make noise after midnight (or before 8am),


Sun Wukong wrote:
I don't really have problems staying in groups.


See the conflict there !! You share with students, why oh why would there be no noise after midnight?, as for before 8am, for a fair chunk of the time, likely to be a carry over from the night before !!

You really are not cutout for shared accomodation, especially student shared accomodation !!
____________________
Beware what photos you upload, or link to on here, especially if you have family members on them
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Kawasaki Jimbo
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Oct 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 18:47 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
In the military, if you're astute enough, you can learn how to get people on your side without the kind of discipline you think it is all about. How to get the best out of people around you, even when everyone is different (yes, people in the military still have individual personalities Shocked ), what motivates people. I don't think you understand the military at all, frankly.

Why does this make the military different from any other team-based job?
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 19:05 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

linuxyeti wrote:
Sun Wukong wrote:
......and don't make noise after midnight (or before 8am),


Sun Wukong wrote:
I don't really have problems staying in groups.


See the conflict there !! You share with students, why oh why would there be no noise after midnight?, as for before 8am, for a fair chunk of the time, likely to be a carry over from the night before !!

You really are not cutout for shared accomodation, especially student shared accomodation !!


You're an idiot Thumbs Up
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

chickenstrip
Super Spammer



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 19:19 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kawasaki Jimbo wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:
In the military, if you're astute enough, you can learn how to get people on your side without the kind of discipline you think it is all about. How to get the best out of people around you, even when everyone is different (yes, people in the military still have individual personalities Shocked ), what motivates people. I don't think you understand the military at all, frankly.

Why does this make the military different from any other team-based job?


I wasn't trying to make a point that it was. I was answering a comment by Sun Wukong about his perception of "the military method".
____________________
Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 20:57 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Re: Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- roo Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:

What would you guys do?

* Buy noise cancelling headphones
* Keep a supply of babywipes and plastic bags in my room in case I need to take a shit in the wastepaper basket.
* tockpile chocolate biscuits under the bed in case I can't bear the social areas any more
* See this as an unexpected opportunity to improve your Russian
* Surreptitiously smear poo in their keyhole/wipe snot on their door at all possible opportunities Be a "nice" flatmate in public, and plot anarchy in the privacy of my own room.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Polarbear
Super Spammer



Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 22:01 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

I couldn't live like that. All that interaction with people every day. (I'm normally about as sociable as a crocodile with toothache)

I'd be on the phone to the landlord asking for the bloke out or a reduction in my rent. I presume each bedroom has a lock on it?
____________________
Triumph Trophy Launch Edition
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Suntan Sid
World Chat Champion



Joined: 07 May 2009
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:59 - 05 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Buy a fridge and a microwave, keep 'em in your locked room, bollox to the rest of 'em!
Possibly start learning to play the drums as well!
____________________
"Everybody needs money, that's why they call it money!" Cool
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Rogerborg
nimbA



Joined: 26 Oct 2010
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:34 - 06 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously though?

You can't fix stupid, and you can't teach consideration to adults who never had it beaten into them as children.

So move out, and spin the wheel-o-random-roommates again. Maybe next time you'll end up with a couple of industrious, diligent and courteous Johnny Foreigners, plus Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and a man-friendly lesbian.

To balance karma, sublet your room to a refugee.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Bubbs
World Chat Champion



Joined: 28 May 2009
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:21 - 06 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Learn Russian drink vodka.

It's only a month.
____________________
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Loui5D
Brolly Dolly



Joined: 22 Sep 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:21 - 06 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spray paint a a big letter B outside you apartment with a sign pointing in a random direction.

Give him a fake P90 & a Bomb, tell him to go rush b no stop xaxaxaxa ((
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

angryjonny
World Chat Champion



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:39 - 06 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

One month will become two months. Two months will become an indefinite period.

An extra lodger in one room will become an extra lodger in two rooms. Then, slowly, random people all over the place.

Thin end of a potentially huge wedge. Once a precedent is set, it'll snowball.

Move.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Polarbear
Super Spammer



Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:04 - 06 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

angryjonny wrote:
One month will become two months. Two months will become an indefinite period.

An extra lodger in one room will become an extra lodger in two rooms. Then, slowly, random people all over the place.

Thin end of a potentially huge wedge. Once a precedent is set, it'll snowball.

Move.


Too true.
____________________
Triumph Trophy Launch Edition
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:59 - 07 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Got to agree with AngryJonny.

I'd make the effort to point out at the end of the month's time that the cousin needs to move out, whilst muttering something about covenants on the tenancy agreement.

If they say "oh, just another month... " and it sounds like it might get extended again and again, then suggest that perhaps the landlord should be advised (fire/health and safety, obvs) that will be the time to start being PC and self-righteous about things and start talking in a waffly fashion about tenants' obligations to advise the landlord of extra residents, etc..

If they have advised the landlord, then make sure you keep on, at the end of each extended month, that it's "about time the cousin found his own accommodation now".
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:11 - 07 Nov 2017    Post subject: Re: Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- roo Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:

What is fair in this situation? Rent is not cheap here, and so he is just doing it to maximise his one month's earnings. That's it.

Extra people using bathroom in morning. Extra people using kitchen. Extra situations where the common area is just using Russian (we have one other Russian speaker living here). More risk of security issues. More noise in the evening from the room next door.


Also, raise the question of the rent with the other residents. Not behind anybody's back - but perhaps an extension of his time in the house should be countered with a suggestion that the rent be divided 7 ways instead of six, should keep the room-sharing guys on their toes, ad the others might consider you have a point as they will be directly benefiting from that move.

Have you guys lowered yourself to "house meetings" yet?? If not, now seems the time to instigate it, as you have a situation that will potentially divide the household.

Nobody likes "house meetings" being inflicted, but the way the Azerbaijani guy introduced his cousin into the house pretty much shows he is uncertain in his stance with this. The language is very submissive "By the way ..." (trying to be casual, but nervous as fuck) and "is it ok?" ... you know that then was the time you should have said "well not really, but lets talk about the logistics".

So a house meeting is really the only option to bring some form of regulation back to the house. Make it a set day, Tuesday evenings at 7, something like that, and anyone who says they can't make it will be "fined", nothing serious, just something lame like buying a round of coffees for the whole house.

Set an agenda, make them stick to it and to come up with solutions, not vague decisions. Taking turns taking the chair shows who has the ability to run the meeting properly, so monitor it and work with the ones who chair best on getting solutions that work for everyone. If they are grown men, they will understand the concept of management meetings, just make it a house-friendly one.

It probably seems draconian, but its no worse than living in a household where anarchy takes hold, that just makes it hell for everyone.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Sun Wukong
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:38 - 07 Nov 2017    Post subject: Re: Shared living... moving in an extra person to -your- roo Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:


Nobody likes "house meetings" being inflicted, but the way the Azerbaijani guy introduced his cousin into the house pretty much shows he is uncertain in his stance with this. The language is very submissive "By the way ..." (trying to be casual, but nervous as fuck) and "is it ok?" ... you know that then was the time you should have said "well not really, but lets talk about the logistics".


I very much did, to be fair.

It was left on a "A week or so would be fair, a month is taking the piss, if we have any problems, he is out."

Or words to that effect. To be fair to them, since then I've not seen or heard a peep from the guy.

Now, though, have I had a reply to my "hypothetical" email I sent the rental company.

This place would be a paradise if every department had a supervisor with a sub-machine gun... Karma
____________________
Top cat
"Hard times lead to hard people. Hard people lead to good times. Good times lead to weak people. Weak people lead to hard times." Smegballs
"Oh and STE balloons would be one of the nicer things we would receive at the office, the amount of dog turd in jiffy bags is not funny." Jsmith86
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

chickenstrip
Super Spammer



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:10 - 07 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sun Wukong wrote:


especially if other housemates had no issue with it and think I've over reacted…



Do they? Or do they agree with you?
____________________
Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Clanger
Stirrer



Joined: 27 May 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 20:21 - 08 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, take advantage of the situation.

Draw up a list of rules, have them translated:

*He can stay here, so long as all the housework is done, including emptying the bins, cleaning the loo etc.

*There must be NO Noise after xx time.

*He will wait his turn for the bathroom - after everyone has finished.

*And whatever else you and your housemates can think about. Find out if he can cook, or get him to go out and do the shopping...perhaps he can help you with some library research.

When I 'lived in' at the student house in Coogee Beach, Oz for two weeks free rent, I made sure their house was clean as a whistle for the whole time I was there. And I made fresh coffee for their arrival home. They liked me as a temporary house guest. These rules weren't given to me though, I volunteered to do it out of the goodness of my heart. Mr. Green Karma
____________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind - Dr. Seuss
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

AshWebster
Brolly Dolly



Joined: 05 Jan 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 15:00 - 09 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

is this what its like in London? people living on top of people? So glad i live in a bubble up North
____________________
Honda cg125 J reg peice of shit ---> CB650F ---> 2016 CBR600RR
Ford KA ---> 93' MR2 ---> 94'MR2 ---> 98' Subaru WRX STI Ver 3 (track car)
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 17:22 - 09 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clanger wrote:
Okay, take advantage of the situation.

Draw up a list of rules, have them translated:

*He can stay here, so long as all the housework is done, including emptying the bins, cleaning the loo etc.

*There must be NO Noise after xx time.

*He will wait his turn for the bathroom - after everyone has finished.

*And whatever else you and your housemates can think about. Find out if he can cook, or get him to go out and do the shopping...perhaps he can help you with some library research.

When I 'lived in' at the student house in Coogee Beach, Oz for two weeks free rent, I made sure their house was clean as a whistle for the whole time I was there. And I made fresh coffee for their arrival home. They liked me as a temporary house guest. These rules weren't given to me though, I volunteered to do it out of the goodness of my heart. Mr. Green Karma


Shocked Shocked Shocked

Ooo you little slavedriver, you.

You might have liked to do that out of the goodness of your heart whilst in Coogee (my baby lives there now, by the way: she loves it!) but I doubt other people would really agree to undergo what appears to be virtual slavery for the sake of the room that they have to share with someone else.

Mind you, I suppose it depends how desperate they are Rolling Eyes

You did it because you wanted to.
But as conditions for being allowed to live there rent-free, its slightly on the dark side of draconian. Laughing Only slightly beyond the pale. Laughing

I do quite like the one about the bathroom, though.
Keeps him in his place Wink
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 17:22 - 09 Nov 2017    Post subject: Reply with quote

AshWebster wrote:
is this what its like in London? people living on top of people?

Pretty much.
It does get tedious from time to time.
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts
Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 6 years, 141 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
  Display posts from previous:   
This page may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a visitor clicks through and makes a purchase. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that third-party cookies will be set.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Page 2 of 3

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Read the Terms of Use! - Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
 

Debug Mode: ON - Server: birks (www) - Page Generation Time: 0.13 Sec - Server Load: 0.22 - MySQL Queries: 17 - Page Size: 153.12 Kb