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woe is me baww thread.. depression anxiety and relationships

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mentaldepress...
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Joined: 14 Jan 2018
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PostPosted: 22:51 - 14 Jan 2018    Post subject: woe is me baww thread.. depression anxiety and relationships Reply with quote

Long time member here..
inb4 ban for second account, ive had anxiety and depression for quite some years but this past few months the anxiety has destroyed my relationship.

I had a very bad time with my ex partner of 5 years, she was violent and cheated on me, made me feel worthless and beat me down, i was forever thinking she did not love me and she was with other men constantly.

fast forward a year and a bit into a new relationship, mistakes where made at the start with her kissing another guy when drinking within the first few weeks but we had a major fight just before and werent exactly stable, we got much better but since my bad time with my last ex i get lonely a lot so i got quite clingy with her, she wanted to go out drinking now and then which obviously for me meant i wouldnt see her, i got better at dealing with it but we seem to argue quite a bit over pathetic things now to the point shes told me its over multiple times, we always end up sorting it out but the past week we have argued 4 times over stupid things because i get anxious that she doesnt love me and she is going to find someone else so i shower her with as much as i can to try keep her happy so she doesnt but then i get exhausted and tempers fray until i snap.

what do bcf?
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Robby
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PostPosted: 23:14 - 14 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't marry her or get her pregnant. Fuck her sister. Get Tinder, it's what all the kids do these days.
Thank your lucky stars you aren't married.
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winz
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PostPosted: 23:15 - 14 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pics or GTFO.

Oh and give her one up the Gary and she will know who's the boss.
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stevo as b4
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PostPosted: 23:47 - 14 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get out of that relationship asap!

Spend some time on your own and or get help to sort out your anxiety and or depression issues. You won't feel rational and balanced about a relationship with anyone until you feel happier in yourself. Was it just your previous failed and abusive relationship that caused your depression issues or is there an underlying previous cause?

Its a pretty selfish shitty thing to do to try and use someone else to make you feel better or get past your issues. I think alot of us have had bad or destructive or incompatible relationships at some point.

Point is you gotta be happy and content and ideally very independent and self reliant etc to have any chance of being happy with someone else.
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DRZ4Hunned
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PostPosted: 23:55 - 14 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop being clingy, girls hate it. Treat em mean, keep em keen Laughing
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 00:07 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Re: woe is me baww thread.. depression anxiety and relations Reply with quote

mentaldepressive wrote:
... but then i get exhausted and tempers fray until i snap.

what do bcf?

Time for a new patio.
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 00:15 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get some exercise... no seriously it has some extremely good psychological benefits.

Eat better again this has a lot of good psychological benefits.

Also learn to meditate, no I don't mean what a lot of people think meditation is. Meditation is removing psychological things, obstacles to you awareness. Your brain has internal chatter, worry and self doubt. You can improve your focus by learning how to filter it out and enter a flow state.

Csikszentmihalyi writes about it. The state you're looking for is flow.

Ever ridden really quickly and hard on a motorbike? You're 100% focused on the task at hand so your internal chatter is silenced. Same thing with tasks you really get into. I can sit by a piano for 2-3 hours and it flies by.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 02:31 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guesses on who the OP is? Whistle
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mentaldepress...
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PostPosted: 03:02 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

trying to be happy every day but it seems every other day more shit appears that i need to deal with.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 09:12 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
Guesses on who the OP is? Whistle

Divvy/Crippletron/Despined_By_Ex, obvs.

If you're not happy with yourself, nobody else is going to be happy being around you.

Bin everything that's bad for you, and quit defining yourself by your relationships. Ditch the bitches, booze, junk food, all toxic people, delete your Failbooks, switch off the intertubes, go down the gym, get super buff, fight crime as a costumed vigilante. Chicks dig that.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 09:39 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rogerborg wrote:
M.C wrote:
Guesses on who the OP is? Whistle

Divvy/Crippletron/Despined_By_Ex, obvs.

If you're not happy with yourself, nobody else is going to be happy being around you.

Bin everything that's bad for you, and quit defining yourself by your relationships. Ditch the bitches, booze, junk food, all toxic people, delete your Failbooks, switch off the intertubes, go down the gym, get super buff, fight crime as a costumed vigilante. Chicks dig that.


And you will live longer (or will it just feel like it. Rolling Eyes )
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P.
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PostPosted: 09:56 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pol,

Is time to drop all the crap fam.

I literally cannot be happier since my break up in 2016. I've had time to enjoy myself, I've done what I've wanted and so has she, we are both happier for it and have learnt where shit went wrong.

All you gotta do is man up, walk away, get your life in order and bam... it'll go well.
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arry
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PostPosted: 10:09 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paddy. wrote:
Pol,


Bare......drama......
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 10:31 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop boo hoo’ing and get your head sorted!
If you think and behave in a negative manner, don’t be surprised if those around you do the same.
Stop looking at how badly things are going and look at some of the positives.

Not everyone is destined to a life of flowers and sunshine when comes to relationships.
You could always try being single?
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P.
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PostPosted: 10:44 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bodyguard wrote:
Paddy. wrote:
Pol,

Is time to drop all the crap fam.

I literally cannot be happier since my break up in 2016. I've had time to enjoy myself, I've done what I've wanted and so has she, we are both happier for it and have learnt where shit went wrong.

All you gotta do is man up, walk away, get your life in order and bam... it'll go well.

She's finally got to experience a real man.


True statement. I spent my time playing Xbox and ignoring her, so I'm glad she found someone who will treat her like a partner should be treated. I was not a man, I was also not man enough to admit that I'd done her wrong and that causes big rifts.

So for once, I agree with you entirely.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 11:19 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paddy. wrote:
I'm glad she found someone who will treat her like a partner should be treated.

Donkey punches?
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 11:57 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pol (is that you in there?)
You need to work on your self-esteem, dude.
That is why you are "clingy" - and at least you recognise this. That's a good start. You just have to try and STOP yourself doing that. Because you know you are defining yourself by your success (or otherwise) with women.

So a good thing would to be single for a bit, what you need to do is to define Who is Pol?

Instead of being Pol the pointless adjunct to [somebint], you need to take time out to be on your own, and to discover who you are, what you are really about. Do stuff on your own or with your mates (male or female, not all girls have to be a conquest) ... and do things you like to do (apart from X-Box Laughing ) things which require you to actually leave the house and engage with the world around you.

Do one thing that you've never done before on a regular basis (weekly/monthly/whatever). See where it takes you. If it doesn't take you anywhere interesting, do something else. Feeling as though you are in a rut of pointless existence never helps, so you have to force yourself out into the real world and change it yourself. Cos nobody else is gonna.

Then you can apply that strength of character to a future relationship and it works much better, once you are confident that you are a person in your own right, and don't have to wait round for [whoever] to show up/come home to validate you.

It will also make you stronger to deal with whatever other shit is going on, e.g., the cripplization or any ensuing court case/NHS tribunal. If you win, you win; if you don't, you grumble a bit and move on.

Big thing is to learn not to grumble about your negatives all the time.

I know it sounds really trite, but think for just a few moments about people who have less than yourself: people with no roof over their head that sleep rough on the streets every night, how must that feel, when you are warm and dry in your home playing X-Box; or people whose loved ones were burnt to death in Grenfell, people who went to bed assuming they would wake up in the morning and pop down to get the paper or a croissant, and never woke back up, or fought to get down the stairs, or to save their dog or their cat, and died because of it. People who live inside a volcano and carry sulphurous rocks to the surface to try and earn money to pay for their mother's hospital bills. People who clean toilets for a living, how do they even bring themselves to do that? Is any of those things you? No. So be glad and consider what positives you can add to your CV of Life.

You're still alive, Pol, and you have so much more than many people in this world - even when you think you have nothing, you have more than many, including those who have everything, even they're not 100% happy with their lot in life. Be grateful for those differences in your life.

And work on finding out who Pol really is, when he's not being Pol-someone's-fella or Pol-the-crip.
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Bozzy.
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PostPosted: 12:23 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop looking at relationships as validation.

Forget your current relationship, concentrate on improving your own life until you are happy with it. Exercise, eat well. Go sight seeing...learn to enjoy your own company. Bringing others into your life before being happy with your own will only make you feel worse. You’ll bring them down to your level of unhappiness, then they’ll leave etc etc..it’s a vicious circle.

Move forwards, don’t look back.
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Pjay
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PostPosted: 12:50 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just buy some bitcoin, life will get better over time.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 12:51 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bozzy. wrote:
Move forwards, don’t look back.

Easy enough, Pol just pawn in game of life.
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owl
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PostPosted: 13:07 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rogerborg wrote:
Bozzy. wrote:
Move forwards, don’t look back.

Easy enough, Pol just pawn in game of life.


also looking back is tough with all that spinal damage
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 13:56 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

vice wrote:


also looking back is tough with all that spinal damage


Wink geddit .
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Hahadumball
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PostPosted: 16:18 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

came here to troll but people think its me... trolls self

is no me... im quite happy with my wench
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AshWebster
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PostPosted: 16:33 - 15 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds like you need to swallow the red pill. or MGTOW

go search theredpill on reddit.

take everything with a pinch of salt but that mindset has definitely helped me over the past 6 months
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