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Best mate avoiding me, money owed, proper Auntie BCF shit

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What does BCF think?
People change/drift apart, don't overthink it
15%
 15%  [ 8 ]
You were used all these years like a cheap whore
58%
 58%  [ 31 ]
tl;dr
3%
 3%  [ 2 ]
Can I borrow some money?
22%
 22%  [ 12 ]
Total Votes : 53

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M.C
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PostPosted: 17:55 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Best mate avoiding me, money owed, proper Auntie BCF shit Reply with quote

I've known my best mate since we were 6 years old, even though we only really became close in secondary school (not Brokeback Mountain close Wink). Cos he lives locally he'd always pop round unannounced, which annoyed me a little bit, but my solution was to not always answer to door.

Anyhoo about a year ago I stopped lending him money, he'd always borrow small amounts, and I never kept track so I'd rarely get it back. This increased when his mum died a few years back. It never really bothered me, but he started avoiding me because he owed me money, and that did bother me which I probably displayed a bit.

We didn't have an argument or anything, I just stopped doing it (because of the avoiding thing), and he stopped coming over Confused In the past I'd always pay for takeaways, until he started dropping hints about being hungry, so I stopped ordering them which shows he has a bit of a history of taking the piss.

I guess what I'm wondering is whether the last dozen or so years of what I thought was a close friendship was just me being used somewhat Neutral The only other thing is after his mam died he got a flatmate, and generally came out of his shell and started going out etc. (which's a good thing), so it could be he doesn't have time for a lame friend anymore now he's no longer lame.
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 18:00 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

It has often been said that if someone borrows money off you and you never see them again, it was worth every penny.
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 18:11 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

If he's your "best mate" your other mates must be really ropey.

Just sayin..........
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M.C
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PostPosted: 18:17 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
If he's your "best mate" your other mates must be really ropey.

Just sayin..........

.......you're not wrong. I fell out with my previous best mate (not a position I advertise for... honest) as it felt like he was taking the piss, borrowing money/not paying me back and only calling when he needed something. I kinda regretted falling out with him so that's why I haven't had it out this time. Men should keep all their feelings bottled up Thumbs Up
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Jewlio Rides Again LLB
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PostPosted: 18:39 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

'Mate' of mine was quite taken with an air rifle I owned. Sold it to him, he took the gun, promised to pay later, and as he was working I knew he was good for it.

Only, he also started avoiding me. Confused

Now, his mam was very anti-gun, and would have throttled him if she knew he had one. So the avoidance went on for weeks, including him bailing work early if he thought I was going to call in to pick it up. His mam's partner also worked at the same place. So asked the brother in law to call in, and ask his mam's partner when he'd be in work next, as he owed someone money for an air rifle. Laughing

Rifle re-appeared shortly afterwards. Laughing

Inb4 CSB.
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 18:45 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
If he's your "best mate" your other mates must be really ropey.

Just sayin..........

.......you're not wrong. I fell out with my previous best mate (not a position I advertise for... honest) as it felt like he was taking the piss, borrowing money/not paying me back and only calling when he needed something. I kinda regretted falling out with him so that's why I haven't had it out this time. Men should keep all their feelings bottled up Thumbs Up


I'm really fortunate, I have a really good group of about 10 guys that I have grown up with. The latest 'joiners' to the group I have known for 15 years, One I have known all my life and 3 I have known since I was ~5. we are all really tight, despite people moving away or whatever.

I've lent 2 of them money, (not counting, forgotten wallet type loans) 1 a few grand to buy a new car before his Bonus from work came in. I got it back no trouble beyond having to remind him about it.

The other one a few occasions I've lent him £50-100, he didn't have the best home life and has had some issues. I have always gotten it back however sometimes months later, it wouldn't bother me if he didn't give it back TBH but one way or another he always has.

My vague point is I have ~10 solid mates that I am more or less certain would always pay back any lent money.

You need better friends.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 18:54 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Re: Best mate avoiding me, money owed, proper Auntie BCF shi Reply with quote

AldridgePrior wrote:
Joking aside my best mate disappeared off the radar a few years ago and I had none of those issues. He met a new woman, was instantly cuntstruck and he fucked all his pals off and is now in being used in doormat/breadwinner role while looking after some other cunts kids.

Result (for her) Thumbs Up

That's kinda what happened with the other best mate. He fell for the first woman girl to open her legs for him (she was underage), and was never the same afterwards. As BS as it sounds it just made me grow as a person and learn to enjoy my own company, as we'd literally spend a week together (sleeping over each others houses etc.). Again nothing Brokeback going on Smile
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 18:57 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lent my 'best' mate 5 grand.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

He isn't my best mate anymore and I had a rather large shortfall of cash.

I sold a very good friend a car and allowed him to pay me monthly.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

I never saw any money after the first couple of months.

And there are other examples I'm not going to bother listing.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

I'm a soft cunt who took ages to learn from my mistakes. It's only my kids I lend to (Give to is probably a better description Rolling Eyes ) now.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 19:09 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Think of it as an investment in your future peace and quiet.

It's not an investment any of us make comfortably. But once they are avoiding you, and you're pretty sure you aren't going to get it back, then its easier to view it as money you'll never see again, with the added benefit of not seeing that particular sponger any more.

Just think, you'll be able to stop having to avoid answering your door, any of that other uncomfortable passive-aggressive shit you have to do with people like that.

I have the opposite situation, of a friend I am happy to spend time with, but on my own terms not hers, having previously pressed money onto me in a fit of ingenuous but uncomfortable generosity, and now I am going to have to give it back, as I do not want any kind of "strings" attached to what is left of our friendship.

Except I spent it on drugs, cakes and shady men in pleather waistcoats*, instead of an airfare to visit her Rolling Eyes Laughing





*all of which she disapproves of me being involved with, no matter how hard she tries to pretend otherwise
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waffles
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PostPosted: 19:09 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best mates who hang around for cash loans that they never pay back and free food are not the sort of people you can rely on if you are ever the one in need. Ditch your mate, save yourself the money/hassle and find someone else to take that BFF spot.

Count yourself lucky that it didn't cost you thousands to find out that your mate is an utter bellend.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 19:17 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
I lent my 'best' mate 5 grand.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

He isn't my best mate anymore and I had a rather large shortfall of cash.

I sold a very good friend a car and allowed him to pay me monthly.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

I never saw any money after the first couple of months.

And there are other examples I'm not going to bother listing.
I wonder who can guess the next line I'm going to type?

I'm a soft cunt who took ages to learn from my mistakes. It's only my kids I lend to (Give to is probably a better description Rolling Eyes ) now.

I guess people get a bit funny when money's involved. If I had to estimate it's probably £200 over years but I'm not fussed about the money at all, I just saw it as helping out a pal (particularly after his mum died), it was essentially losing a mate and the possible reasons I have a problem with. Oddly the one time I did lend him a large amount (£200) he promptly paid it back, but I think it was for his mums overdraft even though he never told me that.

waffles wrote:
Ditch your mate, save yourself the money/hassle and find someone else to take that BFF spot.

Well that's one good thing, he's essentially ditched me so I don't need to do anything Smile What kinda spurred this thread is he messaged today saying happy new year, can you lend me £40 Confused Obviously I said no... ok gave a BS excuse as to why not Embarassed
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 19:26 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

U ok hun?
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 19:49 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lent my former best friend an expensive favorite velvet mini skirt. It came back neatly folded to hide an enormous rip. She never mentioned it it nor did I.

I dropped her years later after I accidentally found out a massive secret about her (now adult) chld, which I'm still not sure either the "child" or the ex-friend knows. The burden of this knowledge means I can't face her, as well as being still annoyed about the skirt.

All of which is by the by as I really want to know more about Hellkat's shady men in pleather waistcoats.
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Rogerborg
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PostPosted: 20:11 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Re: Best mate avoiding me, money owed, proper Auntie BCF shi Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
[He was just using me for free stuffs and monies]

Silver linings, you couldn't get him pregnant, or put him on your mortgage.
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Itchy
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PostPosted: 21:25 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

All in all it depends on how much you get out of it vs the 'costs'

I pay the field fees for a couple of people at games.

One is a total spacker and it's amusing to watch him rush emplaced and dug in machine guns and get 1000+ hits in a game.
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Bozzy.
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PostPosted: 22:48 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

M.C,

It sounds like you’re well shot of him to me. He sounds like the sort of friend who takes more from the friendship than what he gives. Long term that’s never a good thing.
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King29
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PostPosted: 23:37 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mother gave me some good advice when I was young, she said "neither a borrower nor a lender be". I've stuck to that my entire life. I don't borrow anything, if I don't have the cash I don't go into debt for it. I don't lend money out to friends, even if they are in dire need, that's just me.

Sorry for your predicament, everyone needs friends. From what you have wrote on here, you are probably better off without him in your life.
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Hong Kong Phooey
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PostPosted: 23:40 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like the old perpetual loan routine. Gives it you back then borrows again shortly after.

Best not to crack on you've got any money with some people.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 23:49 - 22 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

In debt I owe someone a fiver
Maybe I should try my hand at drag
James Dean was just a careless driver
And Marilyn Monroe was just a slag


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Hong Kong Phooey
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PostPosted: 00:25 - 23 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
In debt I owe someone a fiver
Maybe I should try my hand at drag
James Dean was just a careless driver
And Marilyn Monroe was just a slag


99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd - Half Man Half Biscuit


Why the fuck am I singing that in my head, in a swing-jazz Sinatra-croony type voice?

Clicks fingers to the rhythm and sashays off to bed...
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Pete.
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PostPosted: 01:05 - 23 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
My mother gave me some good advice when I was young, she said "neither a borrower nor a lender be".


Hamlet, Act 1 Scene 3

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."
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Jewlio Rides Again LLB
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PostPosted: 04:37 - 23 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hong Kong Phooey wrote:
Howling Terror wrote:
In debt I owe someone a fiver
Maybe I should try my hand at drag
James Dean was just a careless driver
And Marilyn Monroe was just a slag


99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd - Half Man Half Biscuit


Why the fuck am I singing that in my head, in a swing-jazz Sinatra-croony type voice?

Clicks fingers to the rhythm and sashays off to bed...


Sashay away. Shifty
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 09:22 - 23 Jan 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
All of which is by the by as I really want to know more about Hellkat's shady men in pleather waistcoats.

Usually they're a fairly unpleasant genre, of which my number 1 chaperone is still one of the best looking Wub
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 09:34 - 23 Jan 2018    Post subject: Re: Best mate avoiding me, money owed, proper Auntie BCF shi Reply with quote

M.C wrote:
The only other thing is after his mam died he got a flatmate, and generally came out of his shell and started going out etc. (which's a good thing), so it could be he doesn't have time for a lame friend anymore now he's no longer lame.


Trust me.
He is still lame.
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