Resend my activation email : Register : Log in 
BCF: Bike Chat Forums


Pensioner ‘pushed entire arm in cows rectum and masturbated’

Reply to topic
Bike Chat Forums Index -> Politics & Current Affairs Goto page 1, 2  Next
View previous topic : View next topic  
Author Message

Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:05 - 01 Feb 2018    Post subject: Pensioner ‘pushed entire arm in cows rectum and masturbated’ Reply with quote

A pensioner has been banned from every farm in Britain after he allegedly pushed his fist into a cow’s rectum and performed a sex act.

John Curno, 80, was found guilty of two counts of outraging public decency after he molested several cows on at least two occasions.

The court heard that last summer he was spotted talking to a herd of 150 cows and masturbating in fields belonging to Park Lodge Farm in Uxbridge, west London, several times.

Farmer’s wife Susan Howie said in Uxbridge Magistrates Court that she caught Curno twice with his pants and trousers round his ankles and courting her cattle, which she describes as part of her family.

Curno, who uses a walking stick, was also spotted by two sisters – from their home nearby – who reported seeing him insert his left arm up to his shoulder into the back end of a cow. He then allegedly performed a solo sex act.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/31/pensioner-80-pushed-entire-arm-cows-rectum-masturbated-7276619/

Mr. Green
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Kawasaki Jimbo
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Oct 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:32 - 01 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

#MooToo.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Tracey Suntan-King
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Nov 2012
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:34 - 01 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

They don't have THAT in The Archers Sick
____________________
Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts
AldridgePrior This post is not being displayed because the poster is banned. Unhide this post / all posts.

Polarbear
Super Spammer



Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 01:01 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't know stinkwheel was a pensioner?
____________________
Triumph Trophy Launch Edition
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

UncleFester
World Chat Champion



Joined: 30 Jun 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 07:40 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

ArmCow makes Nobcat seem a little tame ......
____________________
Module 1 and 2 passed - October 2014. Happy owner of a 2017 Z1000SX, ex owner of a YBR125 / CB500 / VFR800.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Rogerborg
nimbA



Joined: 26 Oct 2010
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:10 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

So horny.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

nowhere.elysium
The Pork Lord



Joined: 02 Mar 2009
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:24 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

And yet the cow didn't seem to object.
____________________
'10 SV650SF, '83 GS650GT (it lives!), Questionable DIY dash project, 3D Printer project, Lasercutter project
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Diggs
World Chat Champion



Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:29 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like the cows weren't the only ones overdue a milking...

This is not rare apparently. I can remember tales of young country gentlemen looking for love amongst the herd from when I lived in Suffolk as a youth. What they used to do (according to rural legend) was take a low stool and a towel - the stool to achieve the correct angle and the towel to protect from the inevitable squirt of poo....

On a side note, apparently people in Todmorden (Lancashire, so no great surprise...) have problems sleeping due to the sound of goats. The locals shag them so often that the bleating keeps folk awake at night. This may sound far-fetched, but ring 01422 357257, ask for Environmental Health and complain about goat-shagging in Tod,and the nice Council officers will tell you all about it!
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts
- This post is not being displayed because the poster has bad karma. Unhide this post / all posts.

grr666
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:13 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you can't let a horny cow just walk pasture eh? Gotta chance your arm. Thumbs Up
____________________
Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. Thumbs Up
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Kawasaki Jimbo
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Oct 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:01 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Junior Reporter wrote:
Curno, who uses a walking stick,

Was that relevant to the story, or did it just boost the word count?
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Joncrete Cungle
World Chat Champion



Joined: 31 Jan 2012
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:28 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

How did he manage to keep the cow still enough for an 80 year old who needs a walking stick to do the deed? Question Shocked Must have been bulling or tempted with food Laughing
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Kawasaki Jimbo
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Oct 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:30 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Joncrete Cungle wrote:
How did he manage to keep the cow still enough for an 80 year old who needs a walking stick to do the deed? Question Shocked Must have been bulling or tempted with food Laughing

She wanted it.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

bhinso
World Chat Champion



Joined: 21 Jun 2008
Karma :

PostPosted: 15:26 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

In Lincoln a farmer was up in court accused of similar bestiality. He wanted it put on the record that "All the animals I shagged were female. I'm not gay or nuffin"
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Diggs
World Chat Champion



Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 15:59 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't understand how he managed to pull his pud with one arm in the heifer and the other holding his walking stick. Not that I want to dwell...
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Polarbear
Super Spammer



Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:21 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

bhinso wrote:
In Lincoln a farmer was up in court accused of similar bestiality. He wanted it put on the record that "All the animals I shagged were female. I'm not gay or nuffin"


Homophobic bastard, Thumbs Down
____________________
Triumph Trophy Launch Edition
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

ride_to_die
Crazy Courier



Joined: 13 Nov 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 17:35 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
Gotta chance your arm. Thumbs Up


You owe me a keyboard, I've just spat coffee all over this one.
____________________
I'm not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

yen_powell
World Chat Champion



Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Karma :

PostPosted: 18:55 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Diggs wrote:
I don't understand how he managed to pull his pud with one arm in the heifer and the other holding his walking stick. Not that I want to dwell...
The arm up the cow's chuff wasn't for gratification, it was to stop him falling over.
____________________
Blackmail is a nasty word........but not as nasty as phlegm!
XT1200Z and a DR350 in bits
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Diggs
World Chat Champion



Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 19:19 - 02 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good call.
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

pepperami
Super Spammer



Joined: 17 Jan 2010
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:20 - 03 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

This why I come to BCF Thumbs Up Welcome back proper BCF Thumbs Up
It’s been a while since we’ve had a thread like this Laughing
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

MCN
Super Spammer



Joined: 22 Jul 2015
Karma :

PostPosted: 13:27 - 03 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Charges should be dropped.

Witness say solo sex act.

He had his arm steeped in a cow's arse. How is that Solo?
____________________
Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Bloggsy
Spanner Monkey



Joined: 08 Feb 2010
Karma :

PostPosted: 14:17 - 03 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a wanker Very Happy
____________________
If It Aint broke Don't Fix It
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Tracey Suntan-King
World Chat Champion



Joined: 10 Nov 2012
Karma :

PostPosted: 15:34 - 03 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I read this I just didn't believe it ........

"Pull the udder one." I said
____________________
Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Bozzy.
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 07 Aug 2017
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:32 - 03 Feb 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

It’s cold at this time of year. I bet his testicles were friesian.
____________________
SV650S>>>Street Triple R
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts
Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 6 years, 54 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
  Display posts from previous:   
This page may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a visitor clicks through and makes a purchase. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that third-party cookies will be set.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Bike Chat Forums Index -> Politics & Current Affairs All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Goto page 1, 2  Next
Page 1 of 2

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Read the Terms of Use! - Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
 

Debug Mode: ON - Server: birks (www) - Page Generation Time: 0.09 Sec - Server Load: 0.28 - MySQL Queries: 17 - Page Size: 131.93 Kb