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Help - domestic crisis!

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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 10:14 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Help - domestic crisis! Reply with quote

Wifey is away fro a few days, Yay, I get the remote control Thumbs Up

However, yesterday, while watching ManCity v Liverpool I accidentally knocked over my pot noodle on her month old pristine carpet. It was a Bombay Bad Boy and it's been a really bad boy and left a horrible brownie-red stain on the cream and light brown carpet. Crying or Very sad

I can't seem to completely shift it and I know she's going to notice so I'm either in the dog house or it's going to cost me!

So wondrous BCF stain removers, what do you use that isn't going to get me in even worse shit. Praying

I know how this chap feels Laughing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKb3J9mctlo
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chris-red
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PostPosted: 10:20 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used HG stain remover and 1001 to good effect in the past, for more certain results I'd try renting a rug doctor.
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Panda1909
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PostPosted: 10:43 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Trash the house, say it was robbed, kill a gypsy and put their body over the noodle stain. That way you don't get the blame, and the loving gypsy community will put some nice flowers opposite your gaff for you to look at. Win-Win.

It's the only way
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King29
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PostPosted: 10:44 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Vinegar and baking powder worked for a curry stain removal on our white fluffy carpet not so long back. Failing that as mentioned by chris-red a rug doctor, their spray bottle works wonders, I was going to get one of those spray bottles but tried the vinegar and baking powder first.

Table spoon of baking soda on the stain and pour on vinegar (white not malt) scrub away with washing up sponge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfEOxyUr93U&t


Last edited by King29 on 10:52 - 11 Apr 2018; edited 2 times in total
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grr666
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PostPosted: 10:47 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Assuming she never paid for it outright with her own money and you were somehow invited to contribute toward the cost.
Then just tell her (assertively) the bit with the stain is your bit Thumbs Up

You're welcome. (also try rug doctor before you need arse doctor)
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 10:53 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

grr666 wrote:
Assuming she never paid for it outright with her own money and you were somehow invited to contribute toward the cost.
Then just tell her (assertively) the bit with the stain is your bit Thumbs Up

You're welcome. (also try rug doctor before you need arse doctor)


You're a braver man than me Laughing
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Panda1909
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PostPosted: 10:54 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

alternatively, White wine vinegar and water (1:4) work quite well to remove stains .... but whatever
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 10:56 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Panda1909 wrote:
alternatively, White wine vinegar and water (1:4) work quite well to remove stains .... but whatever


The 'dead pikey' scenario seems more fun Thumbs Up
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duhawkz
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PostPosted: 10:59 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just be careful how you clean it.

We had a cream carpet, in the hall and stairs. It was supposed to be stain resistant.

One day the dog was sick in there, so I cleaned the carpet with some ordinary carpet shampoo, all good or so I thought.

Apparently do that removed the stain resistant coating from tbe fabric, so i end up with a patch of carpet that picked up dirt more easily than the rest so alway had a patch that was slightly darker then the rest of the carpet.

I cleaned it a couple of times after and it would improve it a bit, the after a while this patch would go darker again
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Last edited by duhawkz on 11:08 - 11 Apr 2018; edited 1 time in total
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Panda1909
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PostPosted: 11:01 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
Panda1909 wrote:
alternatively, White wine vinegar and water (1:4) work quite well to remove stains .... but whatever


The 'dead pikey' scenario seems more fun Thumbs Up


Practical too
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Nobby the Bastard
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PostPosted: 12:10 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liberally spread a bad boy or seven over the rest of the carpet until it all matches
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Panda1909
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PostPosted: 12:35 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobby the Bastard wrote:
Liberally spread a bad boy or seven over the rest of the carpet until it all matches


are you referring to the pot noodle or the pikey?
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:21 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Panda1909 wrote:
Trash the house, say it was robbed, kill a gypsy and put their body over the noodle stain. That way you don't get the blame, and the loving gypsy community will put some nice flowers opposite your gaff for you to look at. Win-Win.

It's the only way


Laughing

Oh dear, that did make me laugh Laughing

Polarbear, with pics, or GTFO Bounce!
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 13:54 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Before she comes back go out and buy a beautiful, expensive oriental rug. Preferably silk, or spun from the navel hair of a mythical forest creature.

Place it over the stain, tell her it's a gift because you love her soooooo much and that no, you didn't keep the receipt.

You're welcome.
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 14:40 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Go to lakeland plastics, buy what the lady tells you to.

I have their stuff for removing red wine stains from carpets and it is nothing short of miraculous.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 16:20 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobby the Bastard wrote:
Liberally spread a bad boy or seven over the rest of the carpet until it all matches
Garnish with small zip bags, scrunched tin foil and soot stained light bulbs.
Glass pipe in top pocket.FTW

My two birds with one stone approach.
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 16:31 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

scuttle your houseboat - claim on the insurance - your mishap covered up Thumbs Up
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-Monty-
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PostPosted: 17:06 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Give her a pot noodle when she walks in the door then invite her to the living room. Set up trip wire in the living room so she drops her pot noodle and then it's her fault.
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Ste
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PostPosted: 19:56 - 11 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

-Monty- wrote:
Give her a pot noodle when she walks in the door then invite her to the living room. Set up trip wire in the living room so she drops her pot noodle and then it's her fault.

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

You're a dick.
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Powderhead
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PostPosted: 13:32 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

-Monty- wrote:
Give her a pot noodle when she walks in the door then invite her to the living room. Set up trip wire in the living room so she drops her pot noodle and then it's her fault.


Laughing

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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 14:24 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks chaps, if nothing else you made me laugh!
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 14:29 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

You did have bread n butter with your bad boy didn't you?
https://media1.tenor.com/images/192823ffa23ffdb194ad7115476d5db5/tenor.gif
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MattEMulsion
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PostPosted: 16:28 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Simple - Move the sofa over the stain!!!
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 17:33 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her the prostitute did it while sniffing the pot noodle off a midgets and it is the dribble juice from post coital activity. Then tell her it is HER fault because SHE left you alone on your own without supervision.
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grr666
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PostPosted: 17:37 - 12 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

So... Has she seen it yet? Wot g'wan?
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