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Am I the bad guy here??? - update suicide attempt

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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 09:17 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

While it's clearly very frustrating and worrying to have to deal with this behaviour by the mother, it is important to try not to see this as a war between you. The woman needs help, urgently.

For the sake of the child, any way of restoring a healthy mother to her MUST be sought.

It is not clear how old your baby girl is but she is obviously very young as shes still bottle-fed.

Could this be postnatal depression? Has she been screened? Can you contact the child's health visitor and report your concerns?
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 09:19 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

PS The whole fostering thing, out of the blue, screams hormonal disturbance.
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Loui5D
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PostPosted: 09:37 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like a Narc to me.
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sickpup
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PostPosted: 10:34 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loui5D wrote:
Sounds like a Narc to me.


I can't see anything that suggests she is a Police officer in the drugs squad, please explain?
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Loui5D
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PostPosted: 10:51 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

sickpup wrote:
Loui5D wrote:
Sounds like a Narc to me.


I can't see anything that suggests she is a Police officer in the drugs squad, please explain?


Narc = Narcissist.
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 11:11 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asharin wrote:
Came back downstairs to find her chugging approx 40 paracetamol

And why didn't she do that in the bathroom, and then hide the packets; or alternatively, not do it your actual house where there would be a 100% chance you'd find out, if she actually intended to top herself?

I agree - get the hell away from her; but what you do about the kid I just don't know. Tragic.
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 11:37 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Freddyfruitbat wrote:

And why didn't she do that in the bathroom, and then hide the packets; or alternatively, not do it your actual house where there would be a 100% chance you'd find out, if she actually intended to top herself


Cry for help?
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BTTD
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PostPosted: 12:00 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
Cry for help?


Or emotional blackmail. I guess it's a pretty fine line and you should err on the side of caution. That falls one of two ways: either you look out for her best interests (and potentially get played), or you look out for yours and put yourself in the strongest position possible to look after your children (and potentially be the heartless monster that actually takes the responsibility of caring for kids seriously).
I know which way I would go.
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stevo as b4
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PostPosted: 17:56 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Id probably move house, and apply for custody ASAP.

I guess the ones saying help the mother, try and do whatever you can to get her treatment and support and recovery, are thinking about the interests of the daughter in later life wanting to have an alive mum and be able to get to know her.

The immediate care needs of your kid can't be influenced either way now by an alive crazy mother or a dead one. Your probably going to have your hands full just trying to live your life and give your daughter the best upbringing you can. So personally the state of the mother would have no bearing on how I'd go about things.

I get helping a crazy because it might be good for the the kid one day to have a mum and hopefully one that might get better or want to take her role as a mum seriously.
But I strongly disagree with helping a crazy because they need helping and might end it all irrespective.
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 23:15 - 02 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, she got dragged to hospital 3 times in total before FINALLY agreeing to treatment. 12 hrs after the overdose, so much damage probably already done. Had to get children's services to force her to hand out daughter over to me, as each time she'd refused treatment she'd come home and demand to cuddle baby until the overdose killed her. Only way we could get her to stay in hospital was to take baby in too, which is where children's services came in. Fingers crossed she'll stay in and not wake us all up at 4am again demanding to be let in.
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defblade
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PostPosted: 07:00 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asharin wrote:
each time she'd refused treatment she'd come home and demand to cuddle baby until the overdose killed her.


If she'd only taken upto maybe 40 tablets, that would be in about 2 weeks time, from liver failure (if at all). Which is a loooong cuddle.

I am also a heartless git. There's clearly something seriously wrong with her head, as others have said hard to tell exactly what angle - narc/blackmail/depression - and without the baby involved I'd be saying run, don't walk, away. But there is a baby and that's going to make things far more complicated I'm afraid - hope you can keep your head and focus on the children (sounds like you're doing OK so far!)
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owl
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PostPosted: 07:53 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

For future reference and people reading this, don’t stick your dick in crazy.
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Nobby the Bastard
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PostPosted: 08:14 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

owl wrote:
For future reference and people reading this, don’t stick your dick in crazy.


And if you do, don't tell them where you live.
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arry
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PostPosted: 08:17 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobby the Bastard wrote:
owl wrote:
For future reference and people reading this, don’t stick your dick in crazy.


And if you do, don't tell them where you live.


Or if you have, and they do, stick it in there one last time whilst they're at their most vulnerable.
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owl
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PostPosted: 08:27 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nobby the Bastard wrote:
owl wrote:
For future reference and people reading this, don’t stick your dick in crazy.


And if you do, don't tell them where you live.


https://media1.tenor.com/images/d02451cac3e8dc7769e62799625e8eb2/tenor.gif?itemid=5325183
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P.
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PostPosted: 10:41 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd be surprised if 40 paracetamol would kill, she'd have a very sore time and be really ill, but unlikely to die.

I'd suggest that she seeks some real help, forced if she refuses. I got detained from a suicide attempt a few years back and they really did help sort my shit out. Obviously people mileage varies...
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 12:08 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Paddy. wrote:
I'd be surprised if 40 paracetamol would kill, she'd have a very sore time and be really ill, but unlikely to die.


Paracetamol is an epically poor way of doing it, as it just causes liver failure rather than anything else. A nasty horrid way to die.
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AshWebster
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PostPosted: 13:54 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

surely just introduce her to Arcane or Bodytard and she might see that life's not too bad after all...
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King29
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PostPosted: 17:21 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Suicide by tablets is a bad way to go. A girl back in school tried it after finding out she was pregnant at 14. She took a shed load of Paracetamol but mind you back in the day you could buy a bottle of 100 no problem. She feked her liver up. Other complications saw her walking with a stick and eventually stuck in a wheel chair.

If I was going to top myself, I'd pour a gallon of unleaded down me and spark myself up. None of this waiting slowly to die.
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duhawkz
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PostPosted: 17:51 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:

If I was going to top myself, I'd pour a gallon of unleaded down me and spark myself up. None of this waiting slowly to die.


That's up there with one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

If you think the consequences of failing to kill yourself with paracetamol are bad, Imagine what the consequences of surviving setting yourself on fire would be like.
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andyscooter
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PostPosted: 22:33 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kawasaki Jimbo wrote:
Paddy. wrote:
Do you want her to disappear. Definitely would remove from life. Neutral

Bloody hell, Paddy!

https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-e65bd9304ac79fe3ae7981296936cd09-c

(How much?)


Naw he ain't got the right hair cut

Or access to a pond to lose people in
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Fin
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PostPosted: 22:48 - 03 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

duhawkz wrote:
King29 wrote:

If I was going to top myself, I'd pour a gallon of unleaded down me and spark myself up. None of this waiting slowly to die.


That's up there with one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

If you think the consequences of failing to kill yourself with paracetamol are bad, Imagine what the consequences of surviving setting yourself on fire would be like.


I agree, have you ever lit petrol on fire? It burns rather slowly, a galon would be tricky to swallow, even then it wouldn't would probably just burn you quite badly as there's little if any oxygen in your stomach. Even covering yourself in petrol takes a while to kill you. I can link you a few videos if you want. The way I'd go about it is blunt impact trauma or bullet to the head.

------

Anyway, on topic I agree with the note taking of what happens when it happens. Sadly my view is that she thinks she's winning with the blackmail and it will end badly for her, too delusional and far gone over the crazy end. Wanting to cuddle the baby till she dies is a bit much.

I'm sure you know what to do, your ex needs help but not all yours. It doesn't matter what any of us think's wrong with her, something is and it's for the professionals to decide. Keep the baby safe, follow the proceedings to take rights for the baby.

It's probably naive of me but I wouldn't say to run and do your hands away with it all. Of course there will be a lot of shit sticking around and it will be a pain you'll be able to say you tried.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 13:00 - 04 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
Suicide by tablets is a bad way to go. A girl back in school tried it after finding out she was pregnant at 14. She took a shed load of Paracetamol but mind you back in the day you could buy a bottle of 100 no problem. She feked her liver up. Other complications saw her walking with a stick and eventually stuck in a wheel chair.

If I was going to top myself, I'd pour a gallon of unleaded down me and spark myself up. None of this waiting slowly to die.


Nah I'd just use the right pills. Not going to say which for obvious reasons but I suspect it's not hard to work out.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 07:57 - 05 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

By "trying" to top herself, she's effectively wiped herself off the fostering/adoption list, they'll probably not even give her a second glance now.

So with you not willing to go for a second (and now its proving to be the sensible choice), your daughter will not have a second sibling, so you might as well continue to work on protecting and assimilating her into the family you already had.

Cos the mother is going to be a nightmare.
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BTTD
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PostPosted: 08:46 - 07 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
By "trying" to top herself, she's effectively wiped herself off the fostering/adoption list, they'll probably not even give her a second glance now.

So with you not willing to go for a second (and now its proving to be the sensible choice), your daughter will not have a second sibling, so you might as well continue to work on protecting and assimilating her into the family you already had.

Cos the mother is going to be a nightmare.


Sound advice. Thumbs Up
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