Welcome to the UK policing system.

[andyscooter]

Non traffic Fuck up

Sat in a bus stop eating my chips (but drunk )

Copper drives by turns round and pulls up
Two of them jump out cuff me and shove me in car
Asked what I did they say I'm arrested for criminal damage as when they passed before the window wasn't broke so must have been me

I was on bail at the time For something else ( completely different story)
So am crapping myself
Call comes over urgent so dumped outside the station and off they go
I got a warning of I was seen again they would have me
So walked home hiding every time a car went passed just in case and didn't even finish me chips

Need compo face pic
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gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet

[Nobby the Bastard]

Okay

Get stopped in Brixton on a sunday morning after a weekend of, ahem, entertainment.

Dreadlocked mohican, more metalwork than you an shake a stick at, Mark 1 sirocco.

The rozzer wanted to know why my name didn't come up on the computer of known criminals.

He didn't like the answer of 'because I'm not a criminal' (I'd already handed over my licence) and so we got inflicted with the two hour of searching of the car.

Once we got to to the M4 the two girls in the car admitted that they still had some drugs left over and the filth hadn't found it......
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha:"Remember this simple rule - scooters are for men who like to feel the breeze on their huge, flapping cunt lips."
Sprint ST 1050

[-]

[Bubbs]

Got super stoned at my mates house and hopped on the bike home (SV650S), was thinking of going the backroads home as to avoid a potential police stop, but I thought "nah, there's no way they will stop me, it's never happened before." I set off super concious of speed, must have been glued at 30mph the whole way back, I think i'm home clear, then on the last bend before heading up the mountain back home the blue lights fill the dark night.

They pulled me over. I struggled to get off the bike without falling. Cops asked me a bunch of questions, then started to admire the bike. Managed to talk my way through their quiz and they let me get on my way. Had to get back on the bike and ride off knowing they were watching me... it was not plesant.

Thank god for the helmet as if they'd seen how stoned I was I'd have been nicked.
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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[chrisdubya]

3 times:

1. On my brand Honda XR125. First ever bike and had passed my test and saved my pennies and loved it. Riding through my quiet little market town I got pulled for having no L plates. I explained I had my full license so didnt need them, he did his checks and agreed. He then checked it wasnt nicked, and I was happily let on my way knowing I was 100% legal. It was also nice to know they were actually doing some policing, as that type of bike gets nicked all the time.

2. Couple of years later, on my GSXR 600 K4. Loved that damn bike. So did the ladies, and I hooned it in 1st down the main street of my quiet little market town. Traffic copper around the corner, who is also a biker, pulled me immediately. "I couldnt see you but I could hear you and I know what these bikes do. DONT FUCK AROUND IN THE 30 ZONES'. and off we both went. Warning accepted - never fucked around in a 30 zone since. (Well apart from pulling a wheelie one an easter egg run but the kids wanted it so... but no 5-oh there to see).

3. Another couple of years later, on my GSXR 750 K4, fucking around in a 60 zone. Still to this day dont know where he was hiding but next thing was a pretty coloured volvo up my stubby Yoshi. Pulled, caught averaging a speed less than 1mph off losing my license. Happily signed the paper and got my fine and points. Fair play, I was being a dick. Been ok ever since!

[blue_painted]

I was pulled in for umpty-umm and three. The copper said he had me on the VASCAR (but possibly since he was in a side road and saw me go past he was "exaggerating") ... but what he really wanted was to tell me that his new FJ1200 (with ABS) was a better bike than my CBX-550. I wasn't going to disagree, I was slightly concerned that my licence might spontaneously combust!

The speedo on the CBX said the same number, so with hindsight I was probably ten mph slower in real life.

A few months ago I was putting two bags of rabbit grub into the panniers on the Bonnie. A passing copper said he wasn't sure that would be safe, with "all that weight" so far back. Two 7.5kg bags.
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GP-100 -> CB250RS -> CBX550F2 (pause) KR1S -> RD350YPVS -> ZX6-R (pause) CD200 ->Mash 400 -> T100 (current) & (R1100RT scrapped pile o' shite) (CB250 Nighthawk - SORN in shed) Meteor 350 (current)

[BusterGonads]

[Chutzpah]

The last time I was stopped was many years ago (about 2006) and nowhere near as exciting as pretty much all of these.

Finished work at midnight. Often went to the supermarket at this time because of it being quiet. Went with my wife who did security and also worked unsocial hours.

Driving through a residential area doing the speed limit, blue lights of unmarked car behind light up. No idea what I was doing "wrong".

Officer comes to window, asks for licence, takes one look at my details and goes "oh it is you"

Turns out they thought it was odd someone was driving "normally" at 1am, in their experience people in that area (was a bit of a dodgy city estate I was in) were trying not to attract attention, eg drunk or the car is stolen.

On top of that, my licence and car were registered at my parents address (work moved me around a lot and this was easier than constantly sending off paperwork) and that was quite a few miles away, which when they ran a quick check got their senses tingling that maybe it had been stolen overnight and was now here about to do something naughty.

But one look at my licence and no stench of alcohol from me eased their concerns.

Whilst this was happening, the officer had gone to the passenger window, had spotted my wife and realised he knew her from the security work she did in town and started shooting the breeze

It's the first and only time I've been stopped because my driving was fully legal They were nice chaps though and dealt with it all quickly enough, and in a way had a valid reason for stopping me

[Fizzer Thou]

Been tugged a few times in my 43 years of biking and my favourite is the time that I was out on my dirt bike after work one evening minding my own business and in between riding two greenlanes.The bike was a bit muddy and so was obvious what my activity was.One of the two plod asked what I was up to,to which I said I was greenlaning.
"You are not allowed to ride your motorbike along there.It is a footpath!" says he.
"Do you know where I am allowed to ride?" says I.
"No" says ill-informed plod person.
"Then how do you know where I am not allowed to ride?" says I.
"On your way" says plod.
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Just talk bikes.What else is there?

Always have a 'Plan B'

[Wonko The Sane]

[Tamsin]

Only ever been pulled over in my old 1.3 fiesta, which I scrapped a decade ago.... twice, both in the Marchwood area of Southampton where my then girlfriend lived - both around 1am

Once on suspicion of theft, turned out a similar car had been reported nicked in the area 30 minutes ago, flashed my license and all was good. The other time I was a bit erratic as we'd just had a HUGE argument and I'd stormed out - got pulled as they thought I'd been drinking.

[MCN]

[Hawkeye1250FA]

[grr666]

17 times in the WEEK prior to Christmas 1992 driving in my first car. A dented mark 2 Escort in orange with silvered
out windows, (looked every bit of the 300 quid I paid for it) bombing round Dagenham like a bloke who had just
passed his test, often with two or three mates on board, blasting Slayer and Pantera out. So I can see why.
I had a wad of producers by the end of the week and had been breath tested a half dozen times plus had my breath
sniffed by just as many coppers who were satisfied by that alone that I hadn't had a bevy. (I hadn't, I barely drank
when I was 19) The desk jockey at Chadwell Heath nick was unimpressed when I tossed the pile of them on the
counter along with my docs and then took a seat asking him to let me know when he was done filling out all his
paperwork. Must have slipped my mind to mention to the officers pulling me that I already had producers
pending. Waste my time, I'll waste yours

When I got my next car, a Mark 5 Cortina in red, for some reason the attention from the old bill just dropped right off.
But I could probably add another 20 stories of brushes with the law as I was a bit of a sod when I was a young un.
Since returning to bikes so far not a sniff from the fuzz, despite the Spacker being stupidly loud. But I always
wear plenty of kit and have yet to MOT a big bike. So I've only ridden quite new machines so far. I keep them
showroom clean with a blank cheque available for maintenance, always taxed and insured and look outwardly
completely legit. So I don't give them the foot in the door they look for, because they do. Sister is a copper and she's
told me the sort of things they look for so they can pull someone over for a chat. Mind you, I rarely see police round here,
they prefer the mobile scamera van method round these parts for raising revenue. Been lucky so far.
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Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off.

[thx1138]

[vindaloo]

Pulled in london in dodgy vauxhall with student mates. Some of us looking a but worse for wear.
Lady copper thinks we have drugs on us and asks one of the lads "have you got anything in your pocket that you shouldnt have?"
My mate says "Well Ive got a yo yo"
We thought it was hysterical , copper didnt. Searched car, no drugs or yo yo's were discovered
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Passed Motorbike A at 48 so leaving it a bit late to join the hairy bikers - SV650 Naked (The Bike not me)

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

I got caught doing 95 in a 60 after chasing my mate on his tuono. A third bike - a bmw s1000rr that we'd been admiring alongside us in scarborough had been following at a more or less discrete distance out of town, all the way up staxton, down to foxholes, all the way up to sledmere roundabout. I'd been doing some risky overtakes and generally enjoying things a lot. This was on the weekend of racing at oliver's mount btw. Anyway, I became more conscious of the beemer behind - and the instant its blues went on I stopped. It was almost impossible to tell it was a police bike - the guy;s white lid seemed wrong though. Anyway, I got off, too helmet off and stood there contrite saying fuck all apart from answering his questions. Finally, he said I'm not going to fine you, and I'm not going to give you points. I thought hmmm, what's that leave then? Chucking a lit match in my tank? He said what I am going to do is give you a section 59 cos that exhaust is too loud. I said erm, thanks. And that was that. I thought I got off lightly tbh.
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[owl10]

Not on the bike, but in the car (c32 Amg, now sold 😞)

Driving on a twisty b road, coppergoing the other way puts on blues , spins round and catches me up (saw all this in rear view mirror which kinda suggests I wasn't going that fast)

Copper pulls me over, walks straight up to me and says I don't know how fast you were going, but you were speeding then cautioned me and gave me a ticket.

On the ticket he left the box for my speed blank and for "device used" wrote "opinion" 😂😂

Speed awareness and FPN letters came and went threatening court - after some advice on this forum (thanks Borg) I kept responding nicely but firmly, saying show me the evidence. After the FPN I wrote saying that they need to disclose the evidence to my solicitor.

Never heard anything again.

Brool story co.
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DanceLikeAMonkey says: "An infinte amount of web pages available
Yet I still end up reading crap like that"

[Ste]

RIP Borg.

[thx1138]

[MCN]

[Ste]

Everyone will get one free tear off at his funeral.

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

I don't get it. Did he flounce or just chuck all his eggs into the airsoft basket??
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"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent."

Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125

[Ste]

He hasn't flounced, he's just gone therefore I assume he's dead.

Cause of death: misadventure.
Actual cause of death: interior fogging in the rain whilst autoeroticaally asphyxiating himself.

The date of his funeral has yet to be announced but no flowers please, instead you're invited to bring as many balloons as possible.

[Sister Sledge]

Isn't a TY a trial bike? Were they road legal then?

Yes!
I bought mine from a mate who got bored with it. The bike was almost new and I paid £105 for it at £5 a week. It's crazy how we remember some pointless details..

The TY was road going and geared like a tractor. The actual bike had lights and everything. I think the exhaust was the heaviest item!