Resend my activation email : Register : Log in 
BCF: Bike Chat Forums


Ex missus

Reply to topic
Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF...
View previous topic : View next topic  
Author Message

Old Git Racing
World Chat Champion



Joined: 08 Aug 2009
Karma :

PostPosted: 22:23 - 15 Oct 2018    Post subject: Ex missus Reply with quote

She died today, we haven't been together since 1990. She was the mum of my 2 kids, dont love her or owt like that after all these years, but she was a big part of my life and I feel it.
Don't want any condolences or such, but it doesn't matter, if you once loved them and had something it still gets to you

OGR.
____________________
2022 Tiger Sport 660 2019 Street Twin 2003 K3 gixxer 1000 1998 Srad 600 track hack
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:09 - 15 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I split up from my ex by choice, but even so it was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I still felt bad when I realised I'd probably never spend any sort of time with her ever again, and so I totally understand why you're feeling the way you are. I can't imagine what it must be like.

I want to avoid platitudes or the usual 'chin up' type nonsense you read on social media with stuff like this. It's not really helpful, so I will try to say something that is helpful, as best I can:

It's very sad, and grief is normal, so I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Nobody else would blame you either, and you certainly should not feel guilt or remorse because you feel her loss. Divorce and break up are weird things, and I barely get my head around it myself. Karma
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Polarbear
Super Spammer



Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 01:24 - 16 Oct 2018    Post subject: Re: Ex missus Reply with quote

Old Git Racing wrote:
She died today, we haven't been together since 1990. She was the mum of my 2 kids, dont love her or owt like that after all these years, but she was a big part of my life and I feel it.
Don't want any condolences or such, but it doesn't matter, if you once loved them and had something it still gets to you

OGR.


Does it? I must be abnormal as I felt absolutely nothing when my first wife died a few years ago. No sorrow, no hate, no regrets.

Maybe cause we had no children, or maybe (more likely) I'm an unfeeling bastard.

Anyway, don't let something from the past negatively affect your present, aint worth it. Thumbs Up
____________________
Triumph Trophy Launch Edition
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Sister Sledge
World Chat Champion



Joined: 17 Aug 2018
Karma :

PostPosted: 07:34 - 16 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wise words already given so I won't.

I do feel your pain though. I'm into my 50s now and over the last year have lost quite a few friends with some being exes. Sure some will be a miss but other losses have been tough - one in particular I can still hear the last words she said to me - "Please don't go". That for me is hard. If I'd stayed it would have changed nothing and she'd have died anyway but it still feels like unfinished business to me. Am I feeling grief or is it regret? Pass.

I won't preach on how to cope but will say that keeping busy and continuing to socialise, when you feel ready, is good for you.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Skudd
Super Spammer



Joined: 01 Oct 2006
Karma :

PostPosted: 09:34 - 16 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I hate my ex wife, but love the mother of my children. Same person but different feelings for each side of her.
____________________
Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Big Jock
Renault 5 Driver



Joined: 01 Aug 2016
Karma :

PostPosted: 12:15 - 16 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Skudd wrote:
I hate my ex wife, but love the mother of my children. Same person but different feelings for each side of her.


So true, Bit of a head fuk that !
____________________
1998 Yamaha YZF600R Thundercat
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

struan80
World Chat Champion



Joined: 04 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 16:56 - 16 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wish you all the best, it must be hard on you and your kids.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 00:16 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I must admit, I know I'll be a bit gutted when Anita's dad (my second husband) pegs it - and not least of all because she loves her dad and I hate to see her crying. Her father and I have a long history now, over 32 years for good or bad, and really we're pretty good mates (we met up for coffee the other weekend to discuss flea powder for his cat)

As you say, when you've felt that way about someone (and for me it was a good 10 years that the real feeling sustained itself) ... the affection comes in and out like a tide, not quite so regular, more out than in, LOL ... and not as strong as it used to be.

He's an irritating old fool Laughing but I shall miss him when he's gone (and I expect him to be gone before me, as he's 9 years older than me, and showing all his 66 years and more).

My first husband (in NZ) was a nice fella (too nice!) but because I was only 18, I didn't develop the same passion; by the time we divorced I was 21, and there wasn't much "grown-up" emotion involved. In fact, I had a bit of a crush on one of his mates. Unrequited love has so much more passion in it Laughing
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

CBFcarl
Nearly there...



Joined: 29 Oct 2013
Karma :

PostPosted: 10:11 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my exes died a few years back. We'd only been together about 18 months, but they were mental. A lot of bad shit came out after we'd split up, including the multitudes of cock she had consumed behind my back, the thousands that she scammed me out of, and then started telling people that I'd cheated and slapped her about (the opposite was actually the case). So about 3 years after we split, I found out from my brother (who is now married to her sister) that she had cancer. Given that this woman has shown a habit of lying pathologically, I took the news with a handful of salt.

Then she died.

The bloke that she married shortly before her death passed on responsibility of her kid (his stepkid) to my brother and her sister, and that was that. It seemed like the opposite of our break up, where I started thinking of all the good things that we had in the relationship, and ignoring the absolute psychopath side of things.
Her daughter, now only a year older than my stepson, had lost her mother and never known her real father, all before 15. Her dad, already a mess, became more so. He'd lost his wife (her mum) when she was giving birth to my ex's sister.

I still think about her, and probably in a better light than when she was alive. Did I love her? Probably not. It was a weird relationship that involved a lot of alcohol, drugs and mind games. I am sad that she is dead. She was a couple of years younger than me, and she has left a husband, three sisters, a daughter and people are meant to live longer than their early 30's.

(about the same time, a good friend and work colleague hung himself. The two things happening in such a close timeframe really knocked me, and I went to therapy for a year).

hellkat wrote:
In fact, I had a bit of a crush on one of his mates. Unrequited love has so much more passion in it Laughing


This happened once, when I was but a teenager. A girl that I was dating had a thing for one of my mates. We split, and I'm pretty sure they hooked up a few times. That's why all of my mates are uggo munters now Very Happy
____________________
thx1138 wrote: Well if you had a car, I'd bet it would smell like urine had had drunken sex with vomit and made a poo baby.
Polarbear wrote: They are all old now. Probably had more abuse that a Rotherham schoolgirl.
Hellkat wrote: I want to know if Nigella smells of garlic, or just minge.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

hellkat
Super Spammer



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:50 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

CBFcarl wrote:
That's why all of my mates are uggo munters now Very Happy


Uggo munters need love too.

Laughing
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

struan80
World Chat Champion



Joined: 04 Nov 2014
Karma :

PostPosted: 01:33 - 20 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bugger the bottom feeders and buy a cruiser, I don't understand why a cruiser is not the bike of choice for any biker. Or so called biker. Forward pegs where you can't reach the break when an uphill road because infact if nobody has forward pegs

I really have no idea but what I do know is that black paint is easier than cruiser chrome to take care of.

By fuck I'm an ugly 5ft 7" 54 kilos arse hole that is so fed up of not being able to touch the floor wit too feet. So did I procure? That's right a tourer of the cruiser variety and I can't leg my leg down

Oh my goodness will finish this post in the morning. TL;DR get a cruieser.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:37 - 20 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

struan80 wrote:
Bugger the bottom feeders and buy a cruiser, I don't understand why a cruiser is not the bike of choice for any biker. Or so called biker. Forward pegs where you can't reach the break when an uphill road because infact if nobody has forward pegs

I really have no idea but what I do know is that black paint is easier than cruiser chrome to take care of.

By fuck I'm an ugly 5ft 7" 54 kilos arse hole that is so fed up of not being able to touch the floor wit too feet. So did I procure? That's right a tourer of the cruiser variety and I can't leg my leg down

Oh my goodness will finish this post in the morning. TL;DR get a cruieser.


Wrong thread I assume?
____________________
British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

temeluchus
World Chat Champion



Joined: 01 Oct 2008
Karma :

PostPosted: 19:24 - 20 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

The expiration of an ex is NOT the reason I fled the country.
____________________
Some shite cruiser. Now with guns and FREEDOM!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website You must be logged in to rate posts

Sload
World Chat Champion



Joined: 28 Aug 2011
Karma :

PostPosted: 20:31 - 20 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still an important piece of your life excised out of existence. Irrespective of how you felt and it is good it seemed amicable, just because she was an ex it does not mean you could not care.

That and your obvious link to it through your kids, I guess just focus on them really.
____________________
Honda Varadero >> Triumph Speed Four >> Honda CBR1100xx
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts
Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 5 years, 160 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
  Display posts from previous:   
This page may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a visitor clicks through and makes a purchase. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that third-party cookies will be set.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Read the Terms of Use! - Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
 

Debug Mode: ON - Server: birks (www) - Page Generation Time: 0.09 Sec - Server Load: 0.34 - MySQL Queries: 17 - Page Size: 89.19 Kb