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Ever met Barry Bullsh*t?

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Sister Sledge
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PostPosted: 20:59 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Ever met Barry Bullsh*t? Reply with quote

Just remembered this one from a few years back.

I've worked with some right bullsh*tters over the years and still remember a lad who claimed he'd made his Vauxhall Corsa go faster by changing every fuse to a bigger one - he was deadly serious.

Any other similar bullsh*tter stories??
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thx1138
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PostPosted: 21:23 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not really. I know a few "you should have saids".

They will come out of the woodwork as soon as you have opened your wallet to buy something like a car, or a motorcycle - and say "oh, you should have said, I could have got you one cheap".

Never, ever, will these people be able to source any bargains at all, if you approach them before you buy something.
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Hawkeye1250FA
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PostPosted: 21:31 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha yeah.

There was this one lad who would "better" whatever you said during conversation.

Thinking of volunteering as a firefighter? He was a fireman for 4 years but had to leave for personal reasons

Went to look at a focus... He used to drive a focus ST.

We used to joke that if you said you had a near death experience - he would have died twice before..... 🤣🤣
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Old Git Racing
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PostPosted: 21:38 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my job quite a bit, but I just fix it, make them think they had the great idea and I get paid. In the pub I can bullshit with the best of them Smile

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Sister Sledge
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PostPosted: 21:43 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's another one I knew - Dave. He would brag about when doing car repairs he would take the engine out by looping a rope over his neck and tied to that engine. He'd have his feet on the front wings and would stand up straight to lift the engine and then simply jump down to the ground with the engine dangling like a necklace. Nah - bullsh*t. He'd even try telling teenagers that one and they'd tell him to go f*ck!
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 21:46 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hawkeye1250FA wrote:
Thinking of volunteering as a firefighter? He was a fireman for 4 years but had to leave for personal reasons.


I was awarded an honourable discharge from the SAS on medical grounds after being wounded in action. The balaclava had given me an awful rash.
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Islander
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PostPosted: 21:48 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kawasaki Jimbo wrote:
Hawkeye1250FA wrote:
Thinking of volunteering as a firefighter? He was a fireman for 4 years but had to leave for personal reasons.


I was awarded an honourable discharge from the SAS on medical grounds after being wounded in action. The balaclava had given me an awful rash.


So *you* were the second bloke on the balcony!!
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 21:57 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Islander wrote:
Kawasaki Jimbo wrote:
I was awarded an honourable discharge from the SAS on medical grounds after being wounded in action. The balaclava had given me an awful rash.


So *you* were the second bloke on the balcony!!

That was you!?
Thumbs Up Laughing
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 22:40 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hawkeye1250FA wrote:
Haha yeah.

There was this one lad who would "better" whatever you said during conversation.

Thinking of volunteering as a firefighter? He was a fireman for 4 years but had to leave for personal reasons

Went to look at a focus... He used to drive a focus ST.

We used to joke that if you said you had a near death experience - he would have died twice before..... 🤣🤣

We have a fella in our workforce like that : we call him Eleven.
If you say you’ve been to Tenerife, he’s been to Elevenereife.
We were talking about bikes and someone asked me what bike I have, I told them I had a ZX6R, Eleven chipped in how he once had GPZ1100 Rolling Eyes .
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Hawkeye1250FA
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PostPosted: 22:44 - 17 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eleven! Love it! 🤣😂
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AshWebster
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PostPosted: 10:31 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeh we call them One Uppers..

i find myself sometime reigning it in even if i genuinely have done somehing slightly 'better' than the story cos no1 likes to be one upped.

Weird how there seems to be one person everyone knows who is like this - do other people like to call them out on their bullshit? like Jay from inbetweeners Very Happy
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Hawkeye1250FA
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PostPosted: 10:51 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

AshWebster wrote:
yeh we call them One Uppers..

i find myself sometime reigning it in even if i genuinely have done somehing slightly 'better' than the story cos no1 likes to be one upped.

Weird how there seems to be one person everyone knows who is like this - do other people like to call them out on their bullshit? like Jay from inbetweeners Very Happy


We used to for a while, but it was water off a ducks back. It never stopped - so we gave up.

We did once comment that if we added up all the different jobs he claims to have done - he would be 88 years old. He shut up for a day or two.
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 11:01 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

We had a guy come to our martial arts class who said he had a motorbike. The teacher rides an MV F4 1000 so we both asked what it was he rode. He said 'Harley davidson' so we were like 'oh dear'.

He turned up on the bike next week. It was some sort of chinese 125 cruiser! Laughing
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dydey90
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PostPosted: 14:42 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bloke outside the pub a few years ago, telling me he’s upgraded to an Astra SRi and it’s “well rapid mate”, so I asked how rapid. Apparently it did 140 with four big lads in it. He proudly pointed at it in the carpark and lo, there was a 1.8 SRi, same as mine in every way but two more doors. I told him bullshit, it bounces off the rev limiter just over 125 and some of the five door models were limited to 110. He argued. I knew nothing about cars. Who the FUCK did I think I was? I calmly (smugly) pulled my keys out and bipped the lock on my 1.8 Astra SRi, two spaces down from his.

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen him drinking in that pub since.
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G
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PostPosted: 15:25 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Re: Ever met Barry Bullsh*t? Reply with quote

A guy on an IAM ride was explaining how his son (or some other close relative) had tuned his DRZ400 to 90hp.

Maybe that is possible from this trail bike 400cc single - but it's life is going to be rated in seconds not hours at that power - considering that's not too far off twice what a competition 450cc makes and 650cc twins have to have decent tuning to get near that.
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recman
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PostPosted: 15:40 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are plenty of bullshitters where I work, I try to avoid them because I find it insulting to think that they think you believe what they're saying.
What gets on my tits are the arse-hats who always have a counterpoint to whatever it is you're saying.
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G
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PostPosted: 16:24 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

recman wrote:

What gets on my tits are the arse-hats who always have a counterpoint to whatever it is you're saying.

Nah, they're fine; you shouldn't have any issue with those people!

Very Happy Razz
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Suntan Sid
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PostPosted: 17:29 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amongst the bullshit this person has told me over the last 12 years, he came out with a corker a couple of weeks ago.
He confidently told that me that he used to be a semi professional darts player. I nearly laughed out loud.
Having seen him play darts over the same time period, it's fuckin' remarkable that he's lucky to hit the board with two out of three darts!
And no, he hasn't had a stroke or anything like that, it's just utter bollox!
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 23:39 - 18 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a guy at my Dads work like that. He'd been in the SAS, bomb squad in NI, in Afghanistan teaching the locals to clear mines. Was ranked as a full colonel in the saudi army as a covert observer. Had flown a Phantom F4 even though he wasn't a qualified pilot. Was a CAA approved test pilot. Done a HALO parachute jump etc. etc.

Then he came in with photos...
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 00:18 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
Then he came in with photos...


https://oyster.ignimgs.com/mediawiki/apis.ign.com/rainbow-six/thumb/8/81/SASops.jpg/468px-SASops.jpg Question
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FretGrinder
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PostPosted: 06:49 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

stinkwheel wrote:
There was a guy at my Dads work like that. He'd been in the SAS, bomb squad in NI, in Afghanistan teaching the locals to clear mines. Was ranked as a full colonel in the saudi army as a covert observer. Had flown a Phantom F4 even though he wasn't a qualified pilot. Was a CAA approved test pilot. Done a HALO parachute jump etc. etc.

Then he came in with photos...


M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of this post.
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wr6133
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PostPosted: 13:42 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was a squaddie we had a lad in our company who's level of bullshit was epic.

A particular favourite he came out with while we were all shivering on a range in Castlemartin was how he had been Charlotte Church's ice skating instructor and this had led to him taking her virginity. Laughing at him for an hour while he insisted on the truth of it really helped stave off the cold.
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dydey90
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PostPosted: 14:56 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Suntan Sid wrote:
Amongst the bullshit this person has told me over the last 12 years, he came out with a corker a couple of weeks ago.
He confidently told that me that he used to be a semi professional darts player. I nearly laughed out loud.
Having seen him play darts over the same time period, it's fuckin' remarkable that he's lucky to hit the board with two out of three darts!
And no, he hasn't had a stroke or anything like that, it's just utter bollox!


Apparently it’s really easy to do. Bloke I used to work with lived in pubs and working men’s clubs and he came in pissing himself one day asking if I thought I could find the world darts players rankings online.
His mate had entered a tournament pissed and accidentally signed himself up as an approved player and ended up with a player number and an actual world ranking position to go with it.
He wasn’t even last.
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Bubbs
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PostPosted: 15:08 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did quite a few winter seasons working as a ski rep. I invited a friend out to join me on one as we needed staff and half way through the season we got split up and sent to different locations, I went to St Anton, Austria and he went to Meribel, France.

When I got back from my season I met up with him in a pub to catch up and he told me he was in a professional snowboard video and that his snowboard skills were amazing, told me a film maker by the name of Iain Smith filmed it and it would be out in the shops soon... so I had no way to prove he was bullshitting and eventually I let it go. However I went on another ski season the following year and happened to work with the same staff he worked with... turned out Iain was there too... I was quick to ask him about this snowboard film that was going to be released with my mate in... he had no idea what I was talking about and told me he'd recorded clips on his phone during the seaon.....

I didn't confront my mate about it but now take most things he tells me with a pinch of salt.

Another time he showed me pictures of soliders in Afghanistan desert all facing away from the camera. He asked me which one I thought he was, so i pointed to one and he said yes thats me. Then I found out from his mum quite soon after that he hadn't actually completed his basic training and was medically discharged.... urm.... ok.

Just don't understand why people set up these traps for themselves. They always get found out.
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Last edited by Bubbs on 15:10 - 19 Oct 2018; edited 1 time in total
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woo
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PostPosted: 15:08 - 19 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

we had a close friend whos bullshitting transcended from epic to legendary to MYTHICAL!

why people lie is beyond my understanding, their lies enter one ear drum and straight out the other for me.
i actually think they are mentally ill and seriously really do need to to see a mental health advisor/specialist or simply start writing fiction books.

some of the lies i have been told are so mythical i would actually pay to watch what im told in the cinema!
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