Ever met Barry Bullsh*t?

[AshWebster]

anyone else think this thread is ironic in itself?
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Honda cg125 J reg peice of shit ---> CB650F ---> 2016 CBR600RR
Ford KA ---> 93' MR2 ---> 94'MR2 ---> 98' Subaru WRX STI Ver 3 (track car)

[andyscooter]

we have a neighbour known as mad Adrian

he apparently runs over the Malvern hills in front of the sas and gets text messages asking advice off axel rose

only true thing that did happen was he got his bollocks bitten by a staffie whilst jogging up the canal path
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gilera runner vxr200 (chavped)
if its spelt wrong its my fat fingers and daft auto correct on my tablet

[FretGrinder]

[Ed Case]

Used to work with a right PIA whose surname was Hunt.....he was known as 'Warwick'.................think about it.

[dodgydog]

There was a bloke when I worked in the textile trade, he was a loom cleaner / labourer. He had fantastical stories about what he'd done and what qualifications he had. For instance, he said he was a chess grand master, when someone brought a chess set in he refused to play as he "didn't want to make them look stupid". Also he was adamant he had a degree in advanced mathematics from Cambridge University. And that his father had a valuable classic car collection, (this despite the fact that one of the other blokes knew his dad, he didn't have a driving license and he lived in a council house on the Buttershaw estate in Bradford).

Then one night, this nutter asked the foreman if he could borrow the ladders from the maintenance department, and just nip round home with them, the foreman said yes. He duly took the ladders, went round home, climbed up into his own house through the bedroom window, and murdered his wife with an axe he'd also borrowed. (he didn't mention that when he came back).

When he was in court, he came out with a list of names of people who worked with him, (and who he was also going to murder) mostly people who had always called him a daft cunt and told him to fuck off when he was telling his stories.

I worked with the blokes brother also later on, he was a silly cunt as well, but usually only when he was pissed up at work.
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not exactly what I meant

[Sister Sledge]

[Omega]

My most memorable was a guy at a new job who, seeing me turn up on the bike, jumped at his chance to brag. He told me all about his amazing 125 which I didn't recognise so I asked if it was a 2 stroke or a 4 stroke just to get an idea of what I was working with. He confidently said it was a bit of both with a big bore kit so it could easily hit 100 mph...

Always nice when these people out themselves early so you know who to ignore.

[andys675]

this feller was taking bike lessons with my mate who was a DAS instructor reckoned he was the one and only Bob McIntyre, The first rider to clock an average speed of 100 mph (160 km/h) on the Snaefell Mountain Course, also remembered for his five motorcycle Grand Prix wins which included three wins at the Isle of Man TT Races, and four victories in the North West 200

and he lived on a housing estate on West Bromwich, after being paid £8m by Honda to end his contract early as he was asked by Suzuki to ride a GS1000 at the isle of man in 1970


His name was correct on his licence, and after he passed his test he turned up on a GSXR600 which he said Suzuki had bored out to 750 and churned out in excess of 200bhp


Apparently he'd never had a road licence (IOM?) and the last time he'd tried to pass his test he road so fast he "lost" the examiner.


I never got round to telling him he was doing well for someone who had died in 1962, they still have a memorial ride for him every year on the island.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_McIntyre_(motorcyclist)
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Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.

[Polarbear]

[Sister Sledge]

[dodgydog]

Then there was the dog.


A man sees a sign outside a house. 'Talking Dog For Sale'... He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden...
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there...
"Do you really talk"...? He asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies...
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story"...
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping. "I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired"...
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog...
"Ten quid," the owner says...
"£10...? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply"...?


"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden".
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I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not exactly what I meant

[Bubbs]

I'm sure everyone has a version of this but i'll write it anyway..

My wifes, friends, husband came to ours for a weekend. He saw the ZX6R in the driveway and continued to tell me how he owned a Kawasaki Fireblade when he was 16. I had a bit of fun watching him twitch and squirm as I asked him pointed questions about the bike. I let him think he got away with it but really he just got added to the list of people i'm not wasting too much energy on.

Turned out he was a complete dick and we have cut all contact with him and his wife, so first impressions seem to stand up.
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Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

[Hetzer]

Those who are able to be impressed (by true things or bullshit, it's irrelevant) are usually those least worth impressing.

That's why I'm the boring bastard who mostly listens and says nothing.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[Lord Percy]

A guy who was my best mate for a short while at primary school was apparently going to Karate classes.

He was already proficient and had a professional Karate ID card to prove it. The card was invisible.

[MarJay]

[-]

[Dave....]

[stonesie]

There's one at work who always has to 1-up everyone, I've been to Tenerife so he's been to Elevenerife...

He's pretty quiet now since a couple of the lads were talking about the I Phone 15 ( ) and he jumped in saying that he had one and it was shit compared to the Galaxy S8

[dodgydog]

[dydey90]

[G]

Definitely no need for a road driving licence for most things.
Only things generally that do are are stuff like trials events that use public roads.

Someone I know who previously raced in the R6 cup and has often done trackdays etc over the last 10 years or whatever has only just passed their road licence.

[MarJay]

[Shaft]

[DrSnoosnoo]

[Freddyfruitba...]