Toilet rubbish or rubbish toilets

[Feasty]

We're pretty impressive as human beings, we've invented some amazing things and the future looks incredible what with the latest offerings of flying cars, planes with no moving parts, electric vehicles, nuclear power... the list goes on.

So why the fuck can't anyone design a toilet seat lid that doesn't come loose after being in use for a week!
The number of replacements I've had to buy because they fall apart. The chuffing pain in the arse trying to fit them and get those stupid silver round bits in 'just the right place' before gluing it all together and tightening as much as possible - for it all to then come apart again weeks later.

Not to mention rarely making the out-pipes large enough to accommodate a decent sized poo, or having those stupid tight bends that turn back on themselves to block anything bigger than an ant. WHY!?
I don't think my shits are seriously that much bigger than anyone else's...
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Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed).

[Tracey Suntan-King]

For the avoidance of doubt, none of the following applies to the fragrant Sidney Suntan, but while we're on the subject of toilets, why can't toilet seats be automatically self-lowering after use?

Also, why can't lavs also have a laser/search light facility to help with aiming in the dark or when inebriated?

And another thing, the task of changing a toilet seat is made a million times worse by the yellow crust that forms in and around those nasty chrome bits

Triggered........
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[Freddyfruitba...]

[Ste]

[bhinso]

I had a shit the other day that looked like Allah but I got offended by it.

[Feasty]

[bhinso]

fite me.

[M.C]

[Freddyfruitba...]

[FretGrinder]

[Riejufixing]

[MCN]

Cheap Seats come with Cheap Fixtures.
Buy a better quality seat.

You are welcome.
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Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.

[sensi5446]

[M.C]

It's up to me to say it then... there must be some fat arses on this forum

[Courier265]

[Tracey Suntan-King]

[Bhud]

[King29]

Things I am now aware of since being married.

1. There is an incorrect way to put milk back in the fridge.
2. Leaving the top off the toothpaste is a cardinal sin.
3. Buying the cheapest plastic Wilko toilet seat is for the win.



Seriously, £3.99 it never breaks, easy to wipe when my first go of the day sprays everywhere and when it gets loose you just tighten up the plastic threaded nuts. WIN WIN.

[MCN]

[grr666]

Speaking as a landlord.
I only have Armitage Shanks toilets in my properties because they are really reliable and easy to change parts on.
I see toilet seats as a disposable item so always install cheap but 100% plastic (no metal parts = no pissy rust)
seats and if the tenant wants to put something plusher in that's up to them. I rate Bemis as a loo seat manufacturer
whether that's for their super cheap budget range as above or their soft close options higher in the range.
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Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off.

[Ste]

[Baffler186]

We had this, found out that it was my ex who was too lazy to maneuver square on to the seat before sitting down. She would sit on sideways, thus putting sidewards pressure on the fixings. I'm not sure it's a case of cheap seats, more like some fit your toilet well and others don't?
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Current: 2009 SV650 S, 1990 Kawasaki GT550
Previous: 2009 CBF125, 1998 GSF600, 2004 FZ6 Fazer, 1978 CB400a Hondamatic

[doggone]

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00OA0UZ8S
This one we bought three years ago for £15 is now £30 partly because it's rather good despite being lightweight.

I think the soft close helps stop accidental damage from dropping etc.
If people stand on them to do imaginative athletic things something will give way sooner or later.
Also if it starts to come loose, tighten it up ASAP.

[Sister Sledge]

[MCN]