|
Author |
Message |
hellkat |
This post is not being displayed .
|
hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
MarJay |
This post is not being displayed .
|
MarJay But it's British!
Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Nobby the Bastard |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Nobby the Bastard Harley Gaydar
Joined: 16 Aug 2013 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Bhud |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Bhud World Chat Champion
Joined: 11 Oct 2018 Karma :
|
Posted: 12:54 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
You can't help him, sorry. Only he can do that.
I knew a guy who drank himself to death in the Far East. He was an Aussie who lived in one of those countries for the usual reasons... It took him 4 or 5 years of heavy boozing to pop his clogs. I think it may have followed the death of his mother, but I'm not sure about that (it happened a few years ago). Actually yes, I think it was that. He was always a boozer but that event took it to another level.
He used to look much older than his years (he aged super-fast in the space of about 5 years) - was bloated, grey-haired and had bad skin with liver spots. Used to apply every effort he could to stay in drink - every bit of money he got his hands on, he squandered in that way. He told me to keep it a secret how much he owed these very high-end bars that only seem to exist in the Asian orbit. I was shocked - it ran into thousands, let's leave it at that. Used to tell different people different stories so he could just keep drinking and they would trust him. Before I realised he had this problem, he had borrowed a considerable sum from me. After I lent it to him and discovered from himself and people around him about the booze, I was seriously disappointed and didn't expect to get my money back. But he did pay it back - this really took me by surprise. He had friends around him who kept tabs/monitored him in that very softly-softly way that Asians seem to do. While under this "surveillance" he once asked me to run out and secretly buy and hide a bottle of Smirnoff for him. That stuff is incredibly expensive out there, and I know he used to get through a lot more than that on a typical day.
With some knowledge of drugs (everything is available OTC there) he was able to mask his symptoms and remain fully functioning until one day he was admitted to hospital (not for the first time) with acute liver failure. He went completely jaundiced and died within a couple of days of being admitted. No information about brain damage or anything - it may have happened. But, in any case, it was one of those cases where the friends might have done things differently (been a bit tougher with him) had he been in an Anglo country. I can't rule out the possibility that he was brought booze or his self-prescribed tranquilizer cocktail while in hospital. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
bhinso |
This post is not being displayed .
|
bhinso World Chat Champion
Joined: 21 Jun 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 12:58 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
I'm currently struggling seriously with alcohol. I've always been a nervous person but the anxiety over the last few years boiled over (work, etc.) and alcohol (straight whisky) was the only coping mechanism.
It wasn't until last year I started having physcial effects, namely shaking. Blood tests showed my liver was 'complaining' a bit but nothing serious (yet). Went into 2 weeks of detox which was hell but came out without shakes and liver function eventually back to normal.
What followed was 2.5 months without a drink which was fucking awful quite frankly. Couldn't stop thinking about it all the time. Tried AA and NA (and still am) but I can't say it's helping.
Had my first drink end of Jan, and it's (gradually) gotten more often. But didn't touch any last night so try again |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
MCN |
This post is not being displayed .
|
MCN Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2015 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
myvision |
This post is not being displayed .
|
myvision Scooby Slapper
Joined: 26 May 2016 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Andy_Pagin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Andy_Pagin World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 Nov 2010 Karma :
|
Posted: 14:36 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
As a layman who's unfortunately had reason to read up on the subject, I second everything said so far in this discussion. Common symptoms of a failing liver (de-compensated alcoholic liver disease) are an acrid ammonia like smell on the breath, jaundice and ascites, a build up of fluid in the abdomen. However many never have these visible symptoms. Life expectancy after ten years of chronic heavy boozing had knackered the liver varies wildly, anything from two to ten years IIRC. Strangely bona-fide alcoholics seem to have a genetic resistance to the damaging effects of drink that regular piss-heads don't.
The best you can do is read up on the subject, there's a vast number of articles on the internet so go as superficial or as deep as you like. ____________________ They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa, hey-hey,
the men in white coats are coming to take me away.
Yamaha Vity -> YBR125 -> FZS600 Fazer -> FZ1-S Fazer |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Howling Terror |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Howling Terror Super Spammer
Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
chickenstrip |
This post is not being displayed .
|
chickenstrip Super Spammer
Joined: 06 Dec 2013 Karma :
|
Posted: 17:40 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
I've tried it. It's harder than you might think. Bloody expensive too. ____________________ Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE! |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
ThatDippyTwat |
This post is not being displayed .
|
ThatDippyTwat World Chat Champion
Joined: 07 Aug 2016 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Grubscrew |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Grubscrew Scooby Slapper
Joined: 23 Dec 2018 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
ThatDippyTwat |
This post is not being displayed .
|
ThatDippyTwat World Chat Champion
Joined: 07 Aug 2016 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
leolion |
This post is not being displayed .
|
leolion Scooby Slapper
Joined: 14 Feb 2019 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Andy_Pagin |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Andy_Pagin World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 Nov 2010 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Diggs |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Diggs World Chat Champion
Joined: 03 Apr 2007 Karma :
|
Posted: 21:20 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
Woman I knew drank herself to death a few years ago. She ended up back at her parents on our street with her son because she couldn't look after herself and him.
From the outside she seemed to be getting better after a year, so the parents took the lad abroad for a holiday. A neighbour looked in on her after 3 days and found her dead next to two empty vodka bottles.
She hid her alcoholism from her parents by blaming the more obvious effects upon diabetes... ____________________ Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting... |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
recman |
This post is not being displayed .
|
recman World Chat Champion
Joined: 26 Mar 2012 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
chickenstrip |
This post is not being displayed .
|
chickenstrip Super Spammer
Joined: 06 Dec 2013 Karma :
|
Posted: 22:31 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
But weed is bad for you, m'kay? ____________________ Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE! |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
hellkat |
This post is not being displayed .
|
hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
|
Posted: 23:38 - 13 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
My main concern is the brain damage, things such as general cognitive function. There's already a definite struggle to remember words, and its documented by the neurologists as well.
When I converse with him, he is often at first quite disjointed and forgetful but after a few minutes he gets into the rhythm of how we talk to one another and he reverts to almost normal conversations. Its clear that when I talk to him, he comprehends most of what I say and seems able to process and recall it.
But there are very few people around him in terms of friends or family because he is so unutterably grumpy , I walked away from the marriage over 20 years ago, because of the behaviour I was experiencing. So am inclined to distance myself. self preservation and all that.
For the most part those of us who do care even a little bit are distanced from the emotional, physical or financial aspects. Myself and his sister are the only ones close enough to co ordinate his social housing and care arrangements.
He's unlikely to stop drinking, even if our daughter asked him to, I doubt it would make any difference.
I think the dementia is going to be the thing that gets him, and I've not experienced that side of it.
A friend who goes to AA has mentioned "wet brain" as a thing they all dread. ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
King29 |
This post is not being displayed .
|
King29 World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2017 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
pepperami |
This post is not being displayed .
|
pepperami Super Spammer
Joined: 17 Jan 2010 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Sister Sledge |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Sister Sledge World Chat Champion
Joined: 17 Aug 2018 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
recman |
This post is not being displayed .
|
recman World Chat Champion
Joined: 26 Mar 2012 Karma :
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Howling Terror |
This post is not being displayed .
|
Howling Terror Super Spammer
Joined: 05 Dec 2008 Karma :
|
Posted: 12:39 - 14 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
|
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
hellkat |
This post is not being displayed .
|
hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
|
Posted: 12:51 - 14 Apr 2019 Post subject: |
|
|
I am not planning to get stuck in a situation that I will regret or find difficult.
As a bit of background ... I was married to him for nearly 10 years, through all of which he drank, smoked weed and did coke (and other stuff, e.g. speedballs) with various of his friends, but I wasn't really that kind of a party animal back then (I was a late bloomer, haha) - and I stayed indoors mostly, held down a job, paid the mortgage as best I could, and looked after our kid.
Eventually for various reasons I wasn't up for taking any more of his shit, and I left him. It was fairly dramatic, had reverberations for many years but eventually he got over my leaving, and we moved on to a friendship of sorts which has now lasted over 30 years. I'm probably the only person he accepts being bossed around/told off by
So now that our daughter is moved away, she asked me to keep an eye on him. In fact, he supposedly has a girlfriend but she's a boozer too, apparently. I don't know much of their history, but our daughter's best friend from primary school is her daughter-in-law, so I get to hear various bits and pieces.
I have affection for him, but nothing more; our daughter is very aware that he still drinks.
My point here is that I have *already* gone through a lot of shit on account of this man, dealt with it, and I live my own life nowadays.
I have agreed to be designated as next of kin because I am geographically the closest - the so-called girlfriend is actually closer but appears to be not [interested] enough to even have bothered to visit him in hospital.
But for the most part, his care will be handled by social workers, with input from me, and from his sister who lives on the south coast.
Sometimes I think that he would be better off dying now rather than living through what his body and his brain is about to put him through. Because I wasn't there to catch him when he fell - on several occasions - (probably almost certain to be cerebellar ataxia, part of the Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome* that boozers end up getting) ... and the most I have done for him is clean his flat the kitchen of which was in the most disgusting state I have ever experienced, and speak to the hospital and care staff.
All I want to be able to do is to reassure our daughter that I did the most I could for him.
If he goes ga-ga, he will just have to do it without my immediate help, with just guidance and overseeing by me on a supervisory basis.
I would certainly value and support any person who manages to get him to go to AA and to help himself, but I doubt that will ever happen, and I know it won't be me.
I've expended enough devotion throughout the years, in various dilutions, because amongst all the mess of our lives, we will always have our daughter, whom we both absolutely adore.
Whatever I do, I am doing it for her. She knows how much I have put into being with her father, and how much I put into NOT being with him. She trusts me to do the right thing by him on account of myself and herself as well.
So that's what I will be doing.
Close supervision, but from a distance.
*Hereinafter known as the Rimsky-Korsakoff Syndrome because I can't be bothered remembering the Wernicke bit, and R-K is much more familiar to me (Flight of the Bumblebee/Sheherezade) ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
|
Back to top |
|
You must be logged in to rate posts |
|
|
Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 5 years, 13 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
|
|
|