Mental Health Diagnosis - License to be a Prick?

[Tracey Suntan-King]

Just putting this out there.

if someone has been to the GP and cried and come out with a prescription for anti-anxiety/depressant medication, at what point can you legitimately say that your sympathy for them has run out?

Having a "mental health" problem diagnosed by a GP after a 5 minute consultation seems to me to sometimes give the "patient" licence to behave self-indulgently and/or badly.

Family and friends then modify their behaviour because the person is "ill", by which I mean tiptoing around them, putting up with spiteful behaviour, not challenging the person's bad decisions, lending them money because of those bad decisions, not criticising their refusal to get a job and generally handling them with kid gloves.

I have a close associate who fits the above description and their behaviour is awful, but if I'm honest, is really only exaggerated expression of aspects of their personality that have always been present.

i can't help.but feel that everyone around them is enabling this appalling conduct because we're all cowed by the "mental illness" diagnosis. If we stopped being so bloody nice, they'd sort themselves out. But no, everyone's worried that they'll do something worse.

TL:DR How do you tell if a person is mentally ill or just a PITA?

Edit: For the avoidance of doubt, it isn’t Sid who is eternally, my ray of sunshine
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[Boxing]

The mental health aspect especially depression & anxiety is also abused by criminals in order to get a lenient or fully let off sentence.

A lot also go down that route for sick benefits.

[Sister Sledge]

[-]

"Disorders" like this are handed out far too frequently now, to a generation or two who have decided they're never responsible for their own behaviour, actions and stupidity.

It seems around 1 in 5 kids from poor parents, who act like arseholes are now excused by being diagnoses as having mild "autism", where in my day, they were just little shits and got a clip behind the ear and were told to change their behaviour.

Nobody is responsible for their own actions in modern victim creation society.
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[Riejufixing]

[Diggs]

[dodgydog]

I know a married couple, (she left him in November and is just filing for divorce). He has had lifelong "mental health issues" which he has used to get out of all sorts of shit. That shit includes two firearms offences (during both of them, his wife had to come out of the house with her hands above her head and walk towards the armed Police), One case of severe criminal damage, the cost of which was put at £20,000. He got away with that because of assessments from mental health "professionals". Plus there's a host of other shit things he's done over the years too numerous to mention, (he's just written off another £32,000 almost new car, and nobody can find out how or where it happened, and that's the fourth in the last three years).
All the above has always been excused by the phrase "he's not well right now". That same excuse has been used when he's off his head on sniff and running around the garden with a knife while his wife and five year old have had to lock themselves in the bedroom.

Oh yeah, his wife had to drive herself to the hospital too, for an emergency Ceasarian, He was in bed at the time, "not well". Plus during the criminal damage case, she had to get herself to hospital when she was losing their second child, he was in bed "ill" then too.

He's got the money to be treated privately, so a succession of "doctors" have been all to happy to prescribe him a range of medications, that sometimes he takes, sometimes he leaves lying around for his small child to pick up, (I've seen that happen and taken tablets from the child). At the moment he's had a couple of weeks away from the sniff, but he's spent I would think about £70,000 on another new car, an £8000 watch for one of his other kids, and fuck knows how many Paul Smith shirts, expensive shoes, (he buys five pairs at a time, five pairs....the same) plus various expensive artworks and prints.

He may be officially diagnosed by more qualified people than me as "not well" or as "having issues mentally". I'm more of the view nowadays that he's a self indulgent man child, who has no empathy or feelings for anyone but himself. Or, a right cunt, as we used to be able to call them.
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[Tracey Suntan-King]

[stinkwheel]

I think making allowances for a mental illness without pandering to it seems to be a good tack.

So with someone in a hole in bed with depression/anxiety needs support but there is also not MUCH you can do other than provide as normal an environment as possible for them. Check on them periodically, a "How you doing?" with time to talk if they want to. However do carry on with normal routine. "Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes". "Dinner is on the table, do you need a hand getting up?". If they don't, have yours, keep theirs ready for if they want it.

Also do the things you would normally do because it'll start to affect you too. So do go out to the local for a couple of pints or your yoga class, make sure they're invited/included but Don't let it become a means of controlling your life too.

Just like with training kids and animals. If their behaviour is bad. Ignore it as far as possible. If it's good, reward it.

Depression doesn't generally make you behave badly unless you're doing it to re-enforce low self-esteem by driving people away. I think not taking it on at all is still the way forwards in this case.
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[stinkwheel]

[-]

[A100man]

[Riejufixing]

[Sister Sledge]

They also take time to work. Makes me wonder how long a certain medicine is being taken for before another is tried?
Docs have a whole armoury of different meds for these conditions and can quite easily 'go along the optics' with them and not give a particular one enough time to work. Some doctors prescribe another without giving the first time to work.
I do understand when people refuse counselling. It could be because of historic stuff that will be mentioned and they're not ready to deal with the sh*tfall for example. Counselling though is a powerful tool and should always be tried.

I had a mate who was depressed. It was classic stuff and I would kick about with him doing the things we both did. Not once did I change my behaviour towards him. He knew he could talk any time he liked and that I would never judge. I knew him well enough to be able to recognise when he was headed downhill etc.
Things came to a head when I realised that without making it obvious he was starting to manipulate me. Nothing obvious and instead quietly steering situations or controlling that day without me realising. One day though, he did something obvious and I realised just how manipulative he'd become. He certainly wasn't daft either - quite the opposite. He was cunning and played an innocent, quiet and withdrawn person. I spoke to him and the avalanche of denials and cries of illness were sickening. He knew we could speak openly but as soon as he was challenged then he laid that crappy extra stuff on.
I walked from that friendship. Not just for that final incident but more for all of the other things he'd done. For the first week he ignored me but then panicked. I was then bombarded with messages and even letters hand delivered through my door (he lives 30 miles away). I've not seen him for two years now.
I do accept people in whatever way they come but when they do what he did then they go.
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[chris-red]

I have been on both sides of this.

I had pretty severe anxiety this time last year. It was the worst I had ever felt in my life, this includes family dying, broken bones and fairly major burns to my face and leg.

For a few months I was utterly useless as I person I couldn't do anything when I was set off minutes later I would be on the toilet with diarrhea and at the same time I would be throwing up in the bath.

Things that could set me off would be stupid, like getting a text message a loan payment was coming out of my account (I had the money) or the electric window in my car not working properly or loud noises.

I also a few times snapped at my partner and shouted over stupid stuff. I always apologized and she knew it was because I wasn't right.

How I was handled was exactly as Stinkwheel said and that was ideal for me.

One thing the Docs/Counselor said to me was that not everyone wants to get better. To me that was insane, I felt so shit at that point in time I would have happily dumped £10k instantly to feel better. I was willing to do anything.

On the flip side I had a friend with loads of issues, I put up with him being as he was for 8 years (had known him 12ish) he had had bad patches before but it seemed to become majority of the time since early 20's. The last time he went screwy and fucked his life I told him a few home truths and he didn't like that. That combined with an unrelated conversation about 'Drains and Radiators' and a few other examples of selfish behavior led me to fuck him off.

I do not know where it comes from but was talking with the parents of a friend they said essentially there are different types of people in your life, those that radiate warmth/friendship and those that drain it, basically fuck off the drains and you will be happier.

Other selfish behavior included phoning a heavily pregnant friend at 3am to bitch about his life.

Fucking off a trial period for a decent job that his sister got him after a few week because they were 'relying on him too much' and weren't paying him more.

I did a test not long before calling it a day he rung me up for his usually weekly moan and started as usual by asking how I was. I heavily exaggerated "Crap tbh, my really dads sick, dog died, work is stressful, l'm Skint" etc. he literally said "Oh, So anyway..." and went on to moan about his shit.

Don't put up with it forever, if you really believe they aren't going to change there is no benefit to you to keep them around.
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[Ste]

[-]

The problem in life, is that almost all of us go through hard times at one stage or another. Times of anxiety, depression and severe stress are common place and always have been. If anything things were harder in the past. Deciding if it's a disorder and a tag which should be applied to someone, or a life event which we need to deal with, is very difficult to gauge accurately, but the balance seems to be rapidly shifting to victim creation.

Some of the stuff now, like the regular TV adverts for text or social media bullying, make "victims" of crimes far easier to deal with than a kid moving around the country every 3 years, so taking a strong accent to a new school at the other end of the country and getting beaten up for it on a regular basis.
A decade or two ago, getting beaten up for being different at school was something you just had to deal with, now, the younger generations of snowflakes are all soft as sh1t and need counselling or a public media outcry for "nasty man/boy/girl/non defined said something nasty to me on the Internet".

Everyone loves creating and playing the victim nowadays as it removed personal responsibility and transfers blame.

Stiff Upper Lip mentality has turned into WAAAAAmbulance chasing.
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[kawashima]

A lot of people go to mental doctors now. I see lots of people I saw at work. I feel everyone goes to doctors easily nowadays.

For me after being robbed of my purse during commuting more than 10 years ago, I'm afraid of being walked by someone behind me. I'm afraid of some sounds. It's anxiety neurosis.

prescription of medicines. taking them for over 10 years. now I notice the bad side of those medicines too.
If I stop them my ears turn weird with big noise.
wearing ear muffs all the time also worsen it, so I can't do it.

once you start taking medicines it's rare case that you can stop them at some point I believe.
Mental doctors earn a lot by having as many "customers", and tries to keep giving them prescriptions as long as possible. to buy his bmw.

Thus my thoughts on mental medicine is it helps you and it kills you at the same time.

So it should be carefully thought out, whether she/he should start taking medicines. in my opinion.
Not by doctor who earns a lot from you.

I believe some percentage of people might had better not start taking those medicines with easy decision suggested by mental doctors.

Doctors are thinking of earning from you only.
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[Polarbear]

[Diggs]

[MarJay]

I think it's EXTRAORDINARILY dangerous to assume there is an either/or here.

Think of being mentally ill as something akin to someone who rides motorcycles. Are there people who ride motorcycles who are normal, appear normal? Yes. Are there people who ride motorcycles who are the nicest possible people, and will do anything for you short of stopping riding motorcycles, or something which is impossible because they ride motorcycles? Yes, of course.

Are there people who ride motorcycles who are total D*cks? Yes of course.

In ANY group of people you get nice people and you get d*cks. That doesn't mean that group of people are all one or the other. In fact, in most groups most people are perfectly nice. You get the odd one or other who ruin it for the rest.

It's similar to people who are on benefits, people who take drugs, people who like dogs, people who enjoy model railways. I'm sure some benefit claimants do game the system. I'm sure some druggies do steal. I'm sure some dog owners are cruel and shouldn't be allowed to own dogs, and I'm certain that a number of model railway owners are also serial killers. *shrug*

Perhaps I've laboured the point a bit too much but I'm always of the position that people who have a mental illness should be helped, should be given all the opportunity they can to get better, and given all the leeway they need to lead a normal life. Same with people on benefits etc.

What we shouldn't be doing is letting people off of serial killings because they own a dog, or letting people get away with riding a trike just because they like model railways. Or letting people off acting like an @rse because they are mentally ill.

Take example above with guy with firearms offence. That sounds like bipolar or schizophrenic or something like that. I think more leeway could be given to him than say if he just had depression. Similarly depression doesn't always mean that people can't function, but it can, and at the end of the day YOU don't know what's going on inside someone's head. The GPs usually have the closest chance after genuine bona fide mental health professionals of course.

So, just a slight aside - it is relevant I promise. I had an honest to god argument with a guy on Facebook yesterday who insisted that people on benefits shouldn't be allowed to vote. That's some facist sh*t right there... sheesh.
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[pepperami]

Having worked in mental healthcare in the past, I can only add this small nugget.

Many people suffering from MH issues view it as a pass for poor behaviour.
I refused to tolerate poor behaviour and many of the people I worked with changed their behaviour once they realised bad behaviour was not acceptable.

Poor behaviour is poor behaviour, period !
Mental illness is not a reason for sh*tty behaviour.

Strange behaviour can be a symptom of mental illness.
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[Polarbear]

[Baffler186]

[Ste]