Two failed CBTs in two weeks- What the f*ck is wrong with me

[Catrabbit]

As the title suggests, I am apparently broken.

Very new to bikes, was under the impression that I could do the CBT as a beginner but it seems not, my own daft fault

First one: two other girls, both on mopeds (one switched down to 50cc) and me On a geared YZF. I'm falling behind from the offset cos gears. Stand, stopping, basic gears I'm managing but by slalom time I'm stuck. Paddock is too small for me to be doing anything while the other girls do their manouvres. At around 10:30 am the instructor takes me aside and says I'm not going out on the road today, which knocked my confidence. I stay til lunch, they say I can stay for the road chat but not much point so I'm off to sulk on the train home. No reductions on resit fees and the instructor was obviously quite frustrated with me.

One week later, I'm off again to a different provider (not out of spite, I rarely get days off so availability is a factor for me). This provider are immediately a lot nicer and I feel more at ease. One deliveroo driver on a scooter and one bloke who's ridden bikes overseas and just wants to be legal. So I'm obviously the beginner here. One instructor asks why I'm trying a geared bike again- "stupidity and determination" is my response. Out to the paddock, I'm on a Zontes Tiger which I'm struggling a bit with and wobbling more than the YZF. I did ok, but I kept panicking and letting off the throttle on slow control and then wobbling and panicking more. I started getting more nervous and self conscious and just generally feeling like a total idiot who can't even do a sodding figure 8. I drag my way through all the manouvres but I'm still wobbling when it's junction time. The bike is not wanting to be my friend, gears keep locking etc. End of the paddock time the instructor asks if I honestly think I'm ready for the road, I shake my head and he says 'no, you're not'. They actually talk me through where I struggled and offer me a reduced retest as and when. Got a ride back with another instructor on his bike which was great as I couldn't sulk and internalise on the train.

Is it even worth me trying again? My own anxiety and crap is definitely affecting it, but I'm starting to think I just straight up can't manage it. I'm now out £145, twice, and maybe another £95 to try again.
I really do want to do this, and I don't want to switch to an automatic as 1) it feels like I'll struggle to pick that up, 2) the instructor said if I'm struggling with the throttle an auto likely won't help, and 3) I would ultimately like to buy a geared 125.

I'm just venting, I honestly don't think I can take another failed try (yes I know it's not technically a fail but it feels that way). No one local offers lessons, I have absolutely no friends biker or otherwise in my new area so I can't get any practice in. I really want to give it another go but honestly I feel like I'm the first person in history to be this bad at basic training.

[Riejufixing]

So you're in Eastbourne, or very near there (approximately where)?

[Catrabbit]

[linuxyeti]

Blimey, 145 for a cbt !!, oh, and it's not a test, you can't fail, but not going into all that. It really is just a confidence thing, however, why not do the cbt on a scooter, nothing stopping you getting a geared bike afterwards, you then have 2 years in which to learn to ride properly, before you either have to retake your cbt, or, preferably, get yourself an A1/A2 or full A license (depending on age).
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Beware what photos you upload, or link to on here, especially if you have family members on them

[Ste]

As luck would have it, BCF has its very own instructor who does CBT's and he has been summoned to this thread. He's based in Fareham.

https://www.bikechatforums.com/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=66207

https://www.professionalridertraining.co.uk/

Long story short is the instructors were being impatient with you.

[Riejufixing]

Are you starting on a 125? Do you drive/have you driven a car (I guess not, with the rail travel) or anything else?

I might (he said to him, cautiously) get a CBT on an auto, and go from there. Once you have at least some road experience, you can book a couple of lessons on a geared machine, most CBT people I've talked to are ameanable to doing that. The other possibility is that you could do an "intro" on a CBT school's geared bike, not involving going on the road at all. You'd probably need to talk to someone about it, though - prehaps the second place you've already tried? I would guess that the Zontes Tiger might be easier to ride, certainly more comfortable, than a YZF-(is that an "R"?)125. You need a bit of quality time to get used to "geared" from a green start.

[pinkyfloyd]

[Catrabbit]

[Bhud]

You know you need practice on a 125 until you get the basic hang of it, and then you'll easily get through a CBT.

You took a train home the first time, and "sulked". A train - that's some distance. Nobody gave you a lift - not parents, not a boyfriend, etc. Not sure what you mean by sulking, do you mean on Instagram or Facebook or an old-fashioned monologue while staring out of the window?
The second time, you got a lift home on the back of the instructor's bike. Is that all it was? Just a lift home, barely worth a mention? Do you remember his name? Did you feel you could call him up on an evening for a social or something? Did he make small-talk or try to put you at ease, or don't you remember? What I'm getting at is, would you feel comfortable enough getting in touch with him again, explaining how anxious you are, and wishing you could talk it over somewhere over coffee, seeing as he was such a nice guy, etc.? See a route to getting him to teach you without paying him?
You say you have no "biker friends" who'll show you the ropes or let you borrow their 125.

It's an interesting post.

[Ste]

[Catrabbit]

[Bhud]

[Catrabbit]

[Riejufixing]

The weather's looking decent in Portsmouth.

[Easy-X]

From what I've heard the CBTs turn into a bit of a factory line in the good weather. It's almost a seasonal job as there's hardly anyone daft enough to do it in the dead of winter (like me!)

Not only impatient instructors but stoopid ones too: if you see someone struggling then surely the thing to do is offer some more lessons (ker-ching!) but as I said: packing 'em in

Do you hunger to be on a geared bike? I think you do... give it another go with our esteemed colleague
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[Sister Sledge]

I spy a really good offer further up. Go for it - you've nothing to lose and a lot to gain.
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CCM 404 DS

[pinkyfloyd]

[stinkwheel]

Maybe the first instructor was Scrat. Was he wearing an I love Jeremy Corbyn T-shirt and did he go on about Brexit all the time and call everyone Nazis?

Sounds like you need a wee practice on a geared bike somewhere quiet when it's NOT on CBT so you can just get the hang of it. Then you can take in the lessons without worrying about the mechanics of what you're doing.

Doing it on an auto then learning how to ride the geared one quietly in your own time down a local industrial estate on a Sunday afternoon is also relatively common. I presume this is still allowed?
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“Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles.

[Easy-X]

[Kentol750]

Pinky's offer is great. We give everyone the chance of a 2nd attempt at no charge. This generally entails an hour of extra practice and then a road ride, but, some come back and just do the day (minus element A). By 10.30 to say that would break most people. What time did you start? By 10.30, most of my pupils are just getting riding around getting used to 2 wheels!
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Some bikes.

[Pigeon]

[pinkyfloyd]

[trevor saxe-coburg-gotha]

[DexterKane]

I didn't get past my first CBT back in August, can really relate to disappointing it feels.

Felt like an insane amount of knowledge to pick up in only an hour or so on the bike. I found a lot of what I was told didn't really sink in until after I'd been sent home in a bit of a huff with myself.

I found some time to reflect and watching a load of youtube videos on the things I'd struggled with really helped for when I went back.

Here's a couple of guys who I find explain things really well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG4Ixl9vQJs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oXRsOHEOFc

I teach myself (not motorcycles obviously) and it's amazing the difference in the speed people learn different things. I believe anyone can learn anything with enough practise. Don't give up and I'm sure it will click soon. I was terrible when I started and now I'm happy as Larry wizzing about on my fist bike. Good luck!

[Easy-X]