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Ideas for secrete santa for someone in office

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WreckTangle
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 14:38 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Ideas for secrete santa for someone in office Reply with quote

Here is something interesting.


As we are approaching that dreaded expensive event again........Christmas Pale **** It's time that the office festivities commence (in our office anyway)

We as every year have the usual pick the name from the hat of a person that you have to buy a present for, then buy them some cheap lame pressie for around £10.00 or something like that. You have to obviously not tell them it was you who brought the pressie, despite the fact everyone knows it was me because I wrap my pressies in the same way that monkey on LSD wraps them whilst being electrocuted.

This year is going to be hard, as I am going to be buying a pressie for someone girl in our team that will be leaving shortly.....to go and join the police (yeah, she is aiming to hopefully become a traffic copper**, possibly the bikers 2nd mortal enemy Mad after bike thief's)

Was going to get her some stupid lame bath set, but she is one of these people who does not bath (showers, kinda creepy that I know this)

I was for a joke going to get some stupid handcuffs or something like that, but I know that she will take that the wrong way Shifty

What do you lot think will be a good thing to get?

I am sure that you have all had your run in the cops, so feel free to post anything that comes in to your head Mr. Green


** I am sure she says this just to piss me off


**** My god I said that c word, **shivers** Confused
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Sister Sledge
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PostPosted: 15:14 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Soiled underwear?
Get someone to wrap them too and then you can't be accused.
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weasley
World Chat Champion



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PostPosted: 15:17 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sister Sledge wrote:
Soiled underwear?

Good way of linking to "secrete" Santa.
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 15:19 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

In the BCF Secret Santa, I was sent a book by MCW. The title is

"Shag Yourself Slim"

It's been an absolute boon, I can tell you Embarassed

Maybe she'd like that?
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WreckTangle
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 15:24 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

weasley wrote:
Sister Sledge wrote:
Soiled underwear?

Good way of linking to "secrete" Santa.


just looked at the title, I spelt Secret 'secrete' Doh!

what kind of impression this gives to other people in the forum, I have no idea.......
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Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: 15:43 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Re: Ideas for secrete santa for someone in office Reply with quote

WreckTangle wrote:
secrete santa for someone in office

Sounds painful.
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A100man
World Chat Champion



Joined: 19 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: 16:40 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do you fancy her?
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Nobby the Bastard
Harley Gaydar



Joined: 16 Aug 2013
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PostPosted: 16:42 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A pig keyring.
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WreckTangle
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 16:55 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A100man wrote:
Do you fancy her?


nah, she's ...er......dunno how to put this in a politically correct way Thinking ....looks a bit too gender fluid for me

she would literally punch me in the face if a got that keyring..or get medieval on my a$$ when she inevitably pulls me over for speeding
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Nobby the Bastard
Harley Gaydar



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PostPosted: 16:57 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

WreckTangle wrote:


she would literally punch me in the face if a got that keyring..or get medieval on my a$$ when she inevitably pulls me over for speeding


You do know that the whole point of secret santa is that they don't know who gave the present?

DO ET!
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BigTim
Trackday Trickster



Joined: 29 Sep 2017
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PostPosted: 19:00 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

They on about doing this secret Santa in our office this year, I've told em already it doesn't matter who I'm buying for they getting a pair of stockings!

the women laughed but i think Pete jumped when i said it ! Confused
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iooi
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Joined: 14 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 21:29 - 15 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Get someone else to wrap it Very Happy
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Sister Sledge
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PostPosted: 09:32 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gender fluid?
Does that mean her tits have melted?

A bar of soap.
A fancy dress plastic pig nose like the ones I saw in a pron film.
A bag of chips. (bought now and wrapped now)
A lump of coal. (reminder that miners will never forget)
A small bottle of sea water in a used coke bottle. (because cheap)
Toe nail clippings and nail 'cheese' placed in an old jewelry case.
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A100man
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PostPosted: 09:37 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

WreckTangle wrote:
A100man wrote:
Do you fancy her?


nah, she's ...er......dunno how to put this in a politically correct way Thinking ....looks a bit too gender fluid for me


Too easy, a strap-on, preferably home-made..
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wr6133
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Joined: 31 Dec 2013
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PostPosted: 10:25 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Take the bog brush from the shitters, wrap it and give her that.
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WreckTangle
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 10:51 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sister Sledge wrote:
Gender fluid?
Does that mean her tits have melted?


yeah, that is a question I have always wanted to ask her....... reminds me of the old schoolboy joke 'did IKEA get the idea of flatpack furniture by looking at your chest' Twisted Evil

So looking at the list of suggestions I have so far, it's bag of coal, a strap on, something pig themed or toilet brush ........ Laughing
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Fisty
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PostPosted: 15:31 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/21VczAxjBLL._SR600%2C315_PIWhiteStrip%2CBottomLeft%2C0%2C35_PIAmznPrime%2CBottomLeft%2C0%2C-5_PIStarRatingTHREE%2CBottomLeft%2C360%2C-6_SR600%2C315_ZA(5%20Reviews)%2C445%2C286%2C400%2C400%2Carial%2C12%2C4%2C0%2C0%2C5_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
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Polarbear
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Joined: 24 Feb 2007
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PostPosted: 17:21 - 16 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Miss Piggy doll.

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcQGfzhxoz-JGQasssN5HDSog1hfka02ckJAK95E38vF-n74snkvQQgDJt9zpdV-3HOtBuRClSo&usqp=CAE
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Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: 13:55 - 17 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.bullshireonline.com/store/
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steve the grease
Crazy Courier



Joined: 26 Jan 2018
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PostPosted: 01:10 - 19 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Policing-Ethics-Human-Rights-Society-ebook/dp/B00KQOA7BC/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=ethics+for+police+officers&qid=1574122109&sr=8-5

Give her something to think about as she's helping someone to ' fall down the stairs'.
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WreckTangle
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 14:06 - 19 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

steve the grease wrote:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Policing-Ethics-Human-Rights-Society-ebook/dp/B00KQOA7BC/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=ethics+for+police+officers&qid=1574122109&sr=8-5

Give her something to think about as she's helping someone to ' fall down the stairs'.


not actually a bad idea, might seriously consider that one Mr. Green

The piggy doll is a spitting image of her, except the flat pack front Twisted Evil
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Robby
Dirty Old Man



Joined: 16 May 2002
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PostPosted: 22:26 - 19 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fisty nailed it. Secret santa is always an excuse to buy buttplugs.
If you like someone, you might even be kind enough to give them a brand new one.
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A100man
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PostPosted: 13:49 - 20 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Robby wrote:
Fisty nailed it. Secret santa is always an excuse to buy buttplugs.
If you like someone, you might even be kind enough to give them a brand new one.


is there a 2nd hand market? Who knew!
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WreckTangle
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Joined: 21 Oct 2019
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PostPosted: 12:38 - 25 Nov 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

got to be honest with you guys, had some great suggestions from you lot, but I had to be sensible........

I got this from amazon:

steve the grease wrote:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Policing-Ethics-Human-Rights-Society-ebook/dp/B00KQOA7BC/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=ethics+for+police+officers&qid=1574122109&sr=8-5

Give her something to think about as she's helping someone to ' fall down the stairs'.



then I got her this, as I know she loves chilli stuff very much..... Rolling Eyes

https://i1.wp.com/metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/PRC_83903668.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&zoom=1&resize=644%2C338&ssl=1
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 00:41 - 03 Dec 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A copy of the Qur'an.
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