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WreckTangle |
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WreckTangle Scooby Slapper
Joined: 21 Oct 2019 Karma :
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Posted: 20:36 - 06 Jan 2020 Post subject: How is the nicest way to tell someone ........you smell bad |
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Here is one of these questions that you might be familiar, if you work in an office.
I work in a bank (yes, everyone love those banks, especially after the financial crash...............look.......please don't kill me ) and at the start of the year (as every year) we get the normal influx of new staff.............that last bout 3 months then they all get fired or quit because they have the motivation of a dead cat
One of the new people that has started who is strangely one of my neighbors who lives down my street. He is about 26-30 years old. Long hair, looks a bit weird.
people seem to say he is very intelligent, but seems to be socially awkward, I suspect he has that autism/aspergers thing.
Now, here is the big issue, there is no way to put this nicely......I have been near him a few times.............he smells like a dead prostitute, no really, the odor can be smelt from about 50 metres away, and people are complaining.
I would go up to him and tell him that he is a stinking (insert random word here) but I am scared that I will 'offend him' or he might go awol.
Does anyone know how to advise someone autie like 'sorry mate you smell, have a bath or something' ......safely?
Only I don't want to see him murdered because of the smell by someone ____________________ My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0-100 in under 5 seconds for her birthday. ......................I got her a bathroom scale.
Last edited by WreckTangle on 09:17 - 07 Jan 2020; edited 1 time in total |
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FretGrinder |
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FretGrinder World Chat Champion
Joined: 29 Jul 2010 Karma :
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Posted: 20:44 - 06 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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Bar of soap through his letterbox ____________________ Yamaha MT-09
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Polarbear |
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Polarbear Super Spammer
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Islander |
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Islander World Chat Champion
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Ste |
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Ste Not Work Safe
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MarJay |
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MarJay But it's British!
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Tracey Suntan-King |
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Tracey Suntan-King World Chat Champion
Joined: 10 Nov 2012 Karma :
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Posted: 21:39 - 06 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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Islander wrote: | Unless you're his line manager, then it's not your problem. Ask his manager to sort it out. |
Definitely this^^^
And, there is no "nice" way.
I know this because I was the line manager this task got given to.
I agonised on how to tell this woman she ponged and decided the best way was to tell her straight and I was tempted to let her think that it was only me, not her colleagues who had noticed the whiff off her. To spare her feelings, you see. Coz I used to be nice
Then I realised I was opening myself to allegations of bullying or singling her out so I told her the whole truth.
"Hi Jean* just to say your work seems to be going well and your colleagues say you've fitted in well. Theres just one thing, frankly Jean, your personal hygiene is letting you down, you smell. People have commented on it. Do you think you could do something about it? Deodorant? Wash your clothes more often?
She looked sheepish, left the room.......and resigned the next day! Apparently she preferred unemployment to having a bath
*Hi Jean! See what I did there? ____________________ Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right |
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WD Forte |
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WD Forte World Chat Champion
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P. |
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P. Red Rocket
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notbike |
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notbike Formerly known as notabikeranymore
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stevo as b4 |
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stevo as b4 World Chat Champion
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stinkwheel |
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stinkwheel Bovine Proctologist
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 23:18 - 06 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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If he is on the spectrum, he maybe just needs telling. My experience of aspbergers people is usually, by the time they are an adult in full time employment, they are fully aware there are things they don't pick up on. They will take direct but non-confrontational advice and run with it without the degree of hand-wringing you might expect if the same happened to you. Maybe even thank you for it.
As above though, it's not your job to do the telling.
I have already appologised to my co-workers for me stinking out the office. I am pretty sensitive to deodourants. I shower every day and wear a clean t-shirt but I have explained that as long as they provide me with polyester polo shirts as my work uniform, I will be honking like a rugby club changing room by lunchtime. I never wear synthetic fabrics for this exact reason.
That said, large animal vets consider stinky armpits to be among the least offensive odours they are subjected to.. ____________________ “Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles. |
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Riejufixing |
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Riejufixing World Chat Champion
Joined: 24 Jun 2018 Karma :
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Posted: 00:35 - 07 Jan 2020 Post subject: Re: How is the nicest way to tell someone ........you smell |
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WreckTangle wrote: | One of the new people that has started on my neighbors |
Neighbours?
WreckTangle wrote: | he smells like a dead prostitute, no really, the odor can be smelt from about 50 metres away, and people are complaining. |
Approach, preferably in a social situation, not in the office unless it's near the bogs/kitchen.
Talk about whatever for as long as is necessary.
Say "(Sniff, sniff...) What's that funny smell? (thoughtful) It smells like a dead prostitute (sniff, sniff) Pwoar, poo, what a stink", and either ladle on more no-finger-pointing stuff like that, references to the drains, etc, or ask (if there aren't a lot of people about) whether he's stepped in a dead prostitute). |
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Sister Sledge |
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Sister Sledge World Chat Champion
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Skudd |
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Skudd Super Spammer
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Hawkeye1250FA |
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Hawkeye1250FA World Chat Champion
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Posted: 10:26 - 07 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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WreckTangle |
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WreckTangle Scooby Slapper
Joined: 21 Oct 2019 Karma :
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Posted: 11:14 - 07 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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FretGrinder wrote: | Bar of soap through his letterbox |
I suggested this to someone in my team, they are going to literally buy a soap bar and leave it on his desk, I wonder if he will get the point
Islander wrote: | Unless you're his line manager, then it's not your problem. Ask his manager to sort it out. |
Sister Sledge wrote: | It's a line manager thing. |
Meef wrote: | Speak to the line manager about it directly. I'm a line manager and had to deal with this with a member of my team in the past. The manager needs to step up and do their job. |
yeah, I did this about 10 mins ago. The problem with this it that his manager ..........is a psychopath (to work here you have to be) , and will literally speak his mind. I can guarantee that there will be tears later in the day........will be funny to watch, but whats left of my soul (the remaining bit that I have not sold off to satan) will be a bit.....concerned
Ste wrote: | Assert dominance by farting near him as many times as possible every day. |
Christ, this means that I have to go on a pure diet of brussel sprouts and beans? don't think my anus can take this sort of pressure captain! she'll blow
MarJay wrote: | The problem is that trying to legitimately tell someone about a problem like that can easily descend into the realms of bullying. In fact, as others have mentioned, unless you are their line manager that's basically what it is. |
That's the problem. trying to avoid office 'conflict , but the stink is becoming worse than a dead racist cat. You smell him, before you see/hear him. Everyone in this area is now aware of this problem, but handing issues like this is always a cause for concern as you rightfully state
Tracey Suntan-King wrote: | She looked sheepish, left the room.......and resigned the next day! Apparently she preferred unemployment to having a bath |
Hopefully this guy is not part of this 'generation snowflake'
WD Forte wrote: | I never thought I 'd ever have to say this but I need Nobby.
I know, but he's the only one I can think of that could tell me what a dead prostitute smells like.
Unless there's anybody else?
Answers in confidence of course..... |
It smells grim, really, when you live in southend for many years you will understand....NO wait what am I saying? I mean I have no idea what it smells like........LA LA LA......
Paddy wrote: | There is no real nice way... but I'm very open and if it bugs me, I tell them that they hum a little and could do with a wash. They won't come near you again... |
I am like that too, but the problem is that I will literally speak my mind.
" hi there, my name is Dave, pleased to meet you, you must be the guy that smells worse than a badly abused prostitutes welcome mat, .......whats that, why is my manager giving me my p45"
This is the case that you always suffer from 'the fear of offence' issue, which in a office environment leads to a 'documented discussion' about 'office dignity' and inclusion in the work place, god, I can't stand all this p.c nonsense, might just go over to him, blurt out what needs to be said and just hope to see if he comes in to work the next day, when he complaints, I should just play the ignorance card
stevo as b4 wrote: | Would the ideal tactful perfect response be: |
Lol, but My name is not jeremy clarkson/john prescott/eric cantona
Stinkwheel wrote: | If he is on the spectrum, he maybe just needs telling. My experience of aspbergers people is usually, by the time they are an adult in full time employment, they are fully aware there are things they don't pick up on. They will take direct but non-confrontational advice and run with it without the degree of hand-wringing you might expect if the same happened to you. Maybe even thank you for it.
I have already appologised to my co-workers for me stinking out the office. I am pretty sensitive to deodourants. I shower every day and wear a clean t-shirt but I have explained that as long as they provide me with polyester polo shirts as my work uniform, I will be honking like a rugby club changing room by lunchtime. I never wear synthetic fabrics for this exact reason. |
Is this the reason why you are named Stinkwheel
yeah, I did not think of that. weirdly, I have just noticed that he is wearing the same shirt today as he did yesterday, maybe if we strike a conversation about office wear, he might get the point. I might ask him to shave as well, as he looks like someone about to transition into hoboman
With people with these sort of conditions, there is always the fear that they will take this the wrong way, the term 'discriminatory' normally gets thrown around alot and bad things occur because of this. If the bosses message does not get across, will try and tell him straightly (as you suggest) but fingers crossed hopefully bad things won't happen. With these sort of conditions , you can never tell how someone will react to your advice, so there is always this element of fear involved in this (I SMELL a conflict comming on )
I hope what you say is true through, as I have no experience in situations like this with people with these sort of 'conditions'
I can now only hope that his psycho manager gives him the 'telling' that he needs, as I suspect tears will be extracted at some point.
Riejufixing wrote: | Neighbours? |
yeah, sorry, I wrote "One of the new people that has started on my neighbors" that should have been "one of the people that has started in this area is one of my neighbours down my street"
Christ my grammar is about as effective as a ejector seat on a helicopter ____________________ My wife asked me to get her something that goes from 0-100 in under 5 seconds for her birthday. ......................I got her a bathroom scale. |
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ride_to_die |
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ride_to_die Crazy Courier
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Hetzer |
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Hetzer Super Spammer
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Diggs |
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Diggs World Chat Champion
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Posted: 13:29 - 07 Jan 2020 Post subject: |
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I used to work in an office where we had the same issue. The lady was large and in summer her pits used to sing like a Welsh rugby crowd. No amount of hints did it, so we ended up having to tape air-fresheners to the underside of her desk and chair...
Thank feck she didn't suffer with asthma, as the stench of summer breezes and Nordic pine would have killed her!!! ____________________ Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting... |
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Ribenapigeon Super Spammer
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MarJay But it's British!
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WreckTangle |
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WreckTangle Scooby Slapper
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 4 years, 109 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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