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Change of underwear moments?

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TheIncredible...
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PostPosted: 09:34 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Change of underwear moments? Reply with quote

So as the thread title suggests, I thought it would be mildly amusing to share those moments we've all had whilst enjoying the pleasure of being on our trusty steeds.

My first ever code brown occurred many years ago when I was a youngster on his first "big bike" and as all of us could probably ateste to, I thought I was much more competent than I actually was.......

Having watched far too many rounds of MotoGP and WSB, I was attempting to ride vigorously when up ahead I noticed a rather lovely looking corner, well more of a kink lets say, so I suddenly had the urge to try something I'd read about and witnessed on TV, "blipping the throttle to downchange", looks easy and seems to make sense to a novice, no problem, or so I thought! So the inner Rossi took over.....

I proceeded to engage the clutch, and gave it what transpired to be a handful rather than a quick "blip" as the name would suggest but not only did I overcook the blipping, I didn't actually engage the clutch properly so what I ended up doing in essence was ripping the throttle open entering the corner.

My steed reared up, became very unstable and basically caused me to have what can only be described as a near death experience because I just imagined piling in to the barriers, flipping over the top and dying a very extravagant death.

Turned out that didn't happen, much to my delight. God knows how I managed to avoid crashing but I did and I pulled over to the side of the road to enable air to reach my lungs, allow my 250 bpm heart rate to slow and have a quick check of my now brown Calvin Klein's.
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spottedtango
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PostPosted: 14:07 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’ve had a few. More than I’d like to admit to my parents.

One on an Ntv600 of all bikes.

I was on a badly maintained road next to a loch, I had tipped the bike into a sharp corner at about 40mph but hadn’t seen mid corner there was a nasty pot hole. the front wheel disconnected from the road then reconnected at a different angle causing a tank slapper mid corner.

I thought I was gonna be swimming in the loch but the bike had managed to regain its composure after nearly ripping my hands off the handlebars. I put it down to the bikes inherent stability than anything on my part. I’m not a religious man but that nearly made me one.
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wr6133
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PostPosted: 14:20 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite alot of crashes or as I call it "learning".

However for sheer shit to pant ratio this one rates high...

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49866520921_6e177359e9_b.jpg

I'd been alongside thick hedges and trees, they disappeared and I got blinded by low sun, that made me totally misjudge a corner and end up on the wrong side of the road at speed.

One moment I was blinded by the sun then I saw this big bugger bearing down on me. The picture is almost as far over as I managed to get, I couldn't make my side in time. Luckily the driver was switched on and mounted the verge so I didn't get killed by an antique tractor unit.

If I ever meet the bloke driving that I'll buy him a bottle of Scotch.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 14:30 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

My worst (and the only one I can really remember, although there must have been others) was a tank-slapper on my GPz750 Turbo, back in '84. Empty multi-lane road in the dead of night, first time I'd really tried to wind on the power of a big bike. I just whacked the throttle all the way open and it just went into one. A sense of there being no positive input I could make to regain control, it seemed to last for minutes but of course was only really a few seconds. Eventually managed to shed enough speed for it to calm itself. It was a terrifying way to learn that you need to treat such bikes with a bit of respect.
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weasley
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PostPosted: 14:34 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A couple come to mind.

The first involves me riding a bike. I was following a car along a fairly fast A-road but hadn't had a chance to overtake. The road had been resurfaced recently but the stone chippings were largely gone. An opportunity to overtake presented itself so I wound it up and went. As I came alongside the car the bike started to head-shake, and pretty violently. At first I was like "wait, what?!" - you see the bike was a Yamaha Thundercat, not known for their racy geometry and definitely not known for head shaking - it had never happened to me before in something like 14 years of riding it and yet here it was trying to throw me under the Volvo I was passing. Then I realised that the bit of road I was using to overtake was one of those central lane separation zones used to make a right turn. I was riding over the painted hatching area BUT this had simply been surfaced over, leaving a rippled surface with a wavelength that appears to have resonated with my bike. After processing all of this I decided to simply roll off a bit, which cured the shake. I completed the overtake and had the presence of mind to apply the front brake to get the pads back to the discs.

The second one actually happened before I rode bikes. I was in a car, again driving a fast-ish A-road but again trapped behind a slower vehicle. The brief opportunity presented itself so I unleashed all 85bhp of the Peugeot TU3M engine and pulled out to overtake. I was alongside when a motorbike appeared coming the other way. I had nowhere to go. I moved as close as I could to the van I was overtaking, but this still didn't leave much room for the bike. The biker was clearly on their game because they moved left as far as they could and squeezed past. Total closing speed, probably north of 100 mph. This was around 25 years ago and I still shudder to think what happened in all the other universes - I was in the lucky version of events that played out my way. I still drive the road where this happened and I remember this event every single time. I was young and reckless then. That moment probably changed my attitude on the road forever.
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 14:36 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

wr6133 wrote:
If I ever meet the bloke driving that I'll buy him a bottle of Scotch.

Ouch. Shocked

I imagine you'd need to hand it over pretty quickly though, before he punched you in the throat.

Unless you had the foresight to take the picture immediately before impact, I imagine that must be a still taken from a quite-entertaining video clip, then?
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wr6133
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PostPosted: 14:45 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Freddyfruitbat wrote:

I imagine you'd need to hand it over pretty quickly though, before he punched you in the throat.

Unless you had the foresight to take the picture immediately before impact, I imagine that must be a still taken from a quite-entertaining video clip, then?


He'd have every right too, must taken some damage mounting the verge and that's a beaut of an old unit.

It's a still lifted off a video, video is long gone though that was a few years ago.
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 15:08 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Long time ago , many years ago on my RD 250lc of lovelyness.
Luckily for me the road was empty.

This is nice thinks me, I wonder how fast she goes thinks me.
I wind her up to full pelt, hmmm that’s quick I think.
I look down at the speedo to see how fast I’m going and a split second later I look up to see a house brick sitting in the road Shocked .
No chance to do anything, BLAM! the bike turns into a bucking bronco and a tankslapper at the same time!
No skill on my part, I just about managed to hold on let alone stear it or throttle it or brake.
In the seconds of madness that it took to happen, I broke both of my thumbs I found out later after the adrenaline had worn off.
The front wheel got me home but looked fooked and I changed it for the spare wheel i had.
Good job I stayed on and upright, because chances are I would have landed in the Amaco barriers it the bike had spat me off Shocked .

Brown trouser? Very nearly, being sick in the lay-by , oh yes , very much so!
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martin734
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PostPosted: 16:22 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mine was about 2 days after I passed my test. I had managed to convince myself that me on my XS250 could easily keep up with the guy ahead on his cruiser type thing through the twisty Dorset roads. I was wrong. I went into a corner slightly too fast, the bike started to weave and wallow slightly so I over-reacted and grabbed the front brake Embarassed
Luckily there was no oncoming traffic as the bike sat up, and shot across the road. Fortunately the only thing I hit was a fairly softish hedge. After I had worked out that I was still alive and nothing was broken or bleeding I became aware of the slightly surreal sight of a dozen cows stood in a half circle around me, not doubt wondering wtf I was doing lying in their field. I was able to retrieve the bike from the hedge and ride home a much relieved and slightly wiser man.
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bhinso
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PostPosted: 16:26 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mine was on the KMX125, was taking a corner about 60mph and the rear tyre inner tube disintegrated making it instantly flat. To make things worse I had someone on the back. Lost control and hit the deck about 50mph, fortunately we both just slid. Thank God for gear Thumbs Up
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Blah blah
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PostPosted: 16:41 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

On my ZXR750... I'd dropped the forks through the yokes a bit to make it turn in a bit quicker and took it out for a quick blat.

Out on the Cat and Fiddle (I lived in Birmingham at the time !) I got into a bit of a tank slapper while running over some cats eyes on a straight, managed to get back in control and braked for the left hander only to find I had no front brakes... lots of pumping of the lever managed to get some speed off as I slithered round the bend. Apparently violent slappers can push the caliper pistons back. I returned the forks to their previous position when I got home.

On the A458 outside Shrewsbury (still living in Birmingham) on a FZR600, there's a bridge where the entrance is a steep, off camber left hander that you can only do at about 10mph. I took it at about 20 and the beige Maestro on the other side wasn't impressed that I was on the wrong side of the road. My mate behind made him skid to a complete stop and my other mate behind him had his wing mirror...
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 17:00 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I kind of took "change of underwear" moments to mean near misses. If we're including actual crashes...
Nah, forget it, I'll be here all night Laughing
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 18:34 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

*looks at watch, taps it, holds to ear*

Nah you're alright, guvnor.
Looks like we got plenty of time.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 18:42 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
*looks at watch, taps it, holds to ear*

Nah you're alright, guvnor.
Looks like we got plenty of time.


I refer the lady to chickenystripgeezer's biking life, below.

*looks at watch, and is reminded he doesn't have one*
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 18:43 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are quite a few, although I don't normally ride like a tit, so its usually just poor obs on my part (or the other party) rather than excessive speed.

In fact my most heart stopping one wasn't even at high speed.
I mighta been going 30mph or so.
Coming along a slip road onto a dual carriageway behind Ilford, and I was behind a Harley owned by the Prez of a certain large and colourful local club, but which was being ridden by the sergeant at arms, who was my bit of spare at the time - maybe 18 or so years ago now. (omg was it really that long ago)

Didn't know him terribly well at that point, but because of who/what he was, I expected him to pull straight out into the traffic and be all ruffty tuffty towards the cars, so I just kept my speed up and went to follow on.

Except he had slowed, stopped and was waiting for a gap. Rolling Eyes Being the gentleman he is, and the fact that I was on a 125, he had chosen to look for a gap where we could *both* get out at the same time so he could shield me.

I think I missed the back of his fender by millimetres. All I could see was the face of the President (of whom I was terrified at the time) and his likely infuriation at the fact that I had bashed his bike.

Luckily I only nicked the panniers, phew.

But I dropped my bloody bike, and the S/A was sitting on the bike laughing his arse off at me.
I had to actually ASK him to pick my bike up for me.
Bastid. Laughing
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 18:49 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:

*looks at watch, and is reminded he doesn't have one*


Do ya want one.
I got one going cheap.
*opens dirty mac*
Oh wait ...
*closes dirty mac*

Yus, dodgy Rolex, its here somewhere, I just know it is.
Just five groats, my good man.
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bhinso
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PostPosted: 18:51 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first post 125 bike was a bandit 600s. Bought it privately for 1100, a bargin. The seller had really looked after it, and got it shined up mint for me to collect.
Rode home sensibly and parked up on my drive. My drive is at a bit of an angle, and I found the stand wasn't having any of it, the bike started to topple. Bandits are quite heavy, once it was going it was going and I couldn't stop it. Bike hits the deck and over I went with it.
Neighbour had to come over and help pick up the mangled mess of bike and me.
Embarassed
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 18:54 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:

*looks at watch, and is reminded he doesn't have one*


Do ya want one.
I got one going cheap.
*opens dirty mac*
Oh wait ...
*closes dirty mac*

Yus, dodgy Rolex, its here somewhere, I just know it is.
Just five groats, my good man.


Nah, I'm a bit of a jinx to watches. They always pack up on me. Although, some of that may be to do with the fact that mine were often provided by my grandpa, who used to bring them back from Nigeria, where the test of quality was to drop them in a pint of beer apparently, and if they still worked..."genuine Seiko guv!" Neutral
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 19:08 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Me on L plates razzin' on the 1983 XL125 feeling like I was young and free (not old, recently divorced lonely and very skint) heading out of town and about to pass a junction on my left.

I clearly have right of way yet a car heading towards me decides to do a cheeky right turn in front which gives the car waiting to join the road I'm on the double cheeky opportunity to zip out.

[skip with the excuses and say what happened]

I steered a zig-zag pattern. I braked. I accelerated. All at the same time.

Complete panic.
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martin734
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PostPosted: 19:15 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

bhinso wrote:
My first post 125 bike was a bandit 600s. Bought it privately for 1100, a bargin. The seller had really looked after it, and got it shined up mint for me to collect.
Rode home sensibly and parked up on my drive. My drive is at a bit of an angle, and I found the stand wasn't having any of it, the bike started to topple. Bandits are quite heavy, once it was going it was going and I couldn't stop it. Bike hits the deck and over I went with it.
Neighbour had to come over and help pick up the mangled mess of bike and me.
Embarassed

I hate stationary drops, they always make you feel like a prize twat. My worst as at a busy set of traffic lights and my leg got stuck under the bike. I couldn't get up until a couple of people who were stuck in the queue behind me lifted the bike up. Embarassed
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kgm
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PostPosted: 19:23 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Had one recently riding a dual sport.

I had come along a (legal) trail to find the normally open gate at the other end padlocked. There's about a 5ft mound of rubble to the side and I couldn't be arsed riding back the way again. The mound looked solid enough so I committed to it, steep as it was. Turns out I hit it a little fast and it wasn't as solid as it looked. I went over the top a little sideways and at the same time hit a rock and bounced the rear in the air so that I was coming down the other side front wheel first and sideways. Not great on a CRF250L with its saggy ass suspension. Having not expected such an adventure I landed badly, managed to grab a handful of throttle and went shooting off towards a portacabin in front of me. Managed to get off the throttle and steer into the long grass so all was good but definitely kicked my heart into overdrive.

I've had plenty iffy ones on the road too over the years but it's been a while since I've had a really bad one, I tend to freeze less when I occasionally get it wrong now that I've more experience.

I totally misjudged an overtake once not long after I passed my test which resulted in me passing between two logging trucks travelling in opposite directions. That one was actually a bit of a misguided thrill tbh 😂

Another time, again in my first year after test, I was riding on a very twisty, undulating single track road (A708 St Mary's Loch) for the first time trying to keep up with a faster mate and came across a hump that looked like it carried on straight. Turned out the road bent sharply to the left on the descent of that hump before going right again, which wasn't apparent with my shite newbie obs. I came over the top on the power with the front going light and only just managed to get it turned to avoid going over the 6ft drop into the adjacent field. That one was educational.

In terms of static drops I've done the standard disk lock fail and in Wales last year for the Horizons Unlimited meet I tried to follow someone else riding a a light dual sport bike in doing a tight u turn on a sloping road. Turns out it wasnt a good idea whilst riding a fully loaded crossrunner with a much larger turning circle.
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yen_powell
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PostPosted: 19:42 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clutch cable snapped whilst out trail riding on my DR350.

No problem riding, they don't mind changing gear up or down with no clutch.

Pulling away involved revving it a little and knocking it into gear, fine if you had nothing in front of you. I was doing quite nicely until I got to a tarmac road junction where I had to turn left onto a busy road and was forced to come to a stop on a slight uphill gradient.

I over egged the throttle and shot across the road on one wheel, whilst trying frantically to lean left before a vehicle got me from either direction. I was already covered in mud so all the brown trouserage was well hidden!
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 21:34 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Many years ago when I was at college in South Shields went for a ride one weekend just out and about north and west of Newcastle.

I got to the top of a hill and the road went straight down into a valley and up the other side. Dead straight. So whacked open the throttle (RD250) down the hill and got near the bottom of the valley when I realised it crossed a main road that ran along the valley floor and I was on the minor road. Shocked

I was going way too fast to stop and had may be a second (which felt like a lifetime) knowing if anything was coming along that road I was probably toast.

Luckily there wasn't and I got half way up the other side before I stopped, got off and lit a fag. I was shaking.

The other time was a front wheel tyre puncture on a Z650 on the M5 going to Weston -S- Mare. I couldn't control the bike as it wandered across all 3 carriage ways before I could stop it. Cars and lorries scattering everywhere but again was very very lucky no one hit me.
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recman
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PostPosted: 22:16 - 07 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A couple of years ago, on one of my favourite local roads, someone clearly thought it would be hilarious to place a hedge cutting tractor just around one of the higher speed bends.
No notices of work behind carried out of course.
The arse clencher was the oncoming car in the other lane.
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Coby
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PostPosted: 17:29 - 09 May 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was 18 maybe just 19 some lunatic lent me his virtually brand new XS1100 sport: so obviously I went out to see what 140mph felt like, came down the slip road of the M20, found a nice gap into the middle lane and whacked it open.
As it went passed 120mph I found out what it's like to have a bald back tyre on super-bike, shiiite!


Last edited by Coby on 20:27 - 09 May 2020; edited 1 time in total
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