Loss of libido :-(

[RaviTaji]

Maybe an embarrassing one this....ho hum. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has anything similar, or any advice.

For most of my life I had a normal sex drive (nothing noteworthy either way) but ever since hitting my mid thirties... it's just dwindled. I'm at the point where sex would feel like a chore, or a duty, there's no sort of desire for it any more. I'm not in a relationship, so practically it doesn't matter right now, but my libido has never been tied to relationships, so that's not a factor.

The obvious thing is testosterone. And I wish it was that simple. I've tested three times now and results are 19-21//30. So acceptable, not obviously low.

It's like there's a disconnect. I can see and know she's attractive, but there no real feeling there. It's more a thought than an urge. Like appreciating a painting on the wall, you know? Hard to explain.

I wonder if it just age. If I'm expecting too much and this is what it is like to age. For me, the norm up until a couple of years ago (sorry to be crude) was if I saw a hot girl, I was pretty sure I could do things with her right there. Now if I see a hot girls (I work on a campus, this is a common thing) I doubt I'd even be able to get it up if she magically offered it on a plate. And when I say that, it's not an ED thing. Erections are poor, but that's a libido thing I think. There are drugs for that. It's that there's no urge or desire for sex - even though I want to want it, the urges aren't really there any more. Sex drive has always been a core part of my identity, so it feel s like I'm losing an important part of life.

I've used viagra before and it's just weird. It's better than nothing but it's not really the point.

Idk what to do tbh. I was kinda hoping I'd have low testosterone, as that seems like a straight forward fix. I've been to the doctors but they don't seem to have any way to help. Seems like no one really knows what causes the sex drive.

[bugeye_bob]

You can buy testosterone in various forms with no prescription, why not try some low dose testosterone yourself, see if it peps you up at all,
Weirdly I didnt know about males taking it, and a mate mentioned it, he was low on the tests, But how many males never do owt about it.

[Riejufixing]

Diet, exercise, weight, medication, drink, stress, how long problem for, self-fuelling worry about condition, depression, ... all things that you should chat to your GP about.

[stinkwheel]

Sounds like you just won. You're free to do other things you find interesting and fun. I have mates who are constantly chasing skirt and they are, frankly, a pain in the arse at times. Why are we here? The place is a dump. The beer's shite and expensive, the music's shite and you can't hear each other talk. Oh, Rob's chasing fanny... Again.

Are you otherwise fit and healthy? Get out there and enjoy life. You can even make friends with some women without your dick getting in the way.
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[hellkat]

When you get through adolescence and your 20s, which are just utterly fuelled by hormones, it takes a while to understand that sometimes "it just goes away".

But also (happily) it often returns, usually when you have completely forgotten about it and are going about life.

If everything is physically functional and correct, then the best thing is accept it and get on, and then later ... you will be pleased when it returns.

Don't despair, it just makes it seem worse.
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[A100man]

I hear Bridge can be a rewarding past-time as you get older.
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[Nobby the Bastard]

Maybe your gay and so should try cock.
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[Tracey Suntan-King]

Maybe it was the riding position on the Bandit that caused this?
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[Riejufixing]

[RhynoCZ]

[notabikeranym...]

I stopped caring about this kind of shit after my ex. Ever since then I realised chasing skirt is a fool's game.

Went on a bit of a spree at that time and now I don't put any of that shit on a pedestal. Focus on other shit, don't let this problem dominate your mindset.

You'll suddenly realise that while you've been minding your own business and focusing on yourself/other things, you have gathered an abundance and the opportunity will present itself and it'll probably feel more natural than if you chased it and felt pressured to get in the mood for it.

Women appear to be attracted to focused men who are doing their own thing.

Maybe the apathy is a result of mindset and feeling like "I have to do this, this is what every other guy does and it is normal"?

Also your diet could be fucking you up massively. When I was getting shredded and I felt depressed (not related to one another), my dick wouldn't get hard and I didn't think about sex at all. I had ripped abs and women loved it, but I literally wasn't in the mood at that time.

Side-note, women deny that they love ripped abs, but it's nonsense, all of them stare. They just say they prefer dad-bods because they're more comfortable with it and ripped men can make some women feel inadequate about their own image or intimidated. I don't care if that comes across sexist, it's a biological fact that women want strong alpha male genetics to procreate with and a weaker male to provide for her offspring. I don't have abs now anyway, ate myself into oblivion with this lockdown shit.

Anyway, the diet thing was so bad that when I had a pizza for couple days my dick got hard.

Not because I had a sexual attraction to the pizza, but because I wasn't on a fucking ridiculous caloric deficit for that week and my body could function properly.

I think the opposite is true- when I'm eating like shit my sex drive fucks off sometimes.

Look at other angles, loads of things can fuck up your hormones.

[The Shaggy D.A.]

Ask why mother nature is taking you out of the gene pool. Are you vegan?
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[Diggs]

If you aren't interested any more, why worry?

Also, saying that you wouldn't be interested if somebody offered it to you on a plate isn't unusual. There is nothing erotic in that scenario... I'm sure our resident Marge Proops (Hellcat) will agree - the excitement is in the build-up
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[TbirdX]

I suppose a shags out of the question then....
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[Bhud]

£2K Gixxer from Ebay. Polish it a LOT. Oh wait, wrong thread.



Or is it?

[doggone]

Well *some of us* here are twice your age but still fully functional. Mostly.
The inclination does tend to come and go, anything stressful going on - even CV-19 worries in the background - is going to be unhelpful.

[yen_powell]

[hellkat]

Marge Proops only gave good advice, not head.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

Oh wait ... I see what you DID there

I worked for a while with a big black dominatrix. When her "hard sports" clients were scheduled, she sent the security guy out to buy her a hefty lamb curry.

She was a generous girl, and was happy to share it with us, but my overactive imagination meant that I was more than capable of imagining just how effective it was going to be...

I was kinda like, Thanks luv, but no thanks.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[yen_powell]

[hellkat]

Oh wait, this is the wrong thread for this sort of idle chit chat.
*scoots back to the One Night Stand thread*


girl you in da wrong place at da wrong time
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[stinkwheel]

[TheIncredible...]

[Diggs]

Sadly I did. The definitions vary. I think somebody made this one up:

A cleveland steamer is where you hollow out a melon, fill it with cottage cheese, and then during sex, the man places his testicles in the cottage cheese, while his penis is inbetween the woman's big toe and second biggest toe and then proceeds to have sex with the woman's foot.
____________________
Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[RaviTaji]

Lots of helpful advice in these comments! Keep it coming.

(I've walked straight into that one).