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Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans

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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 08:00 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans Reply with quote
Question: Why was Dracula such a dickhead? If, as a vampire, he survived on blood why - OH WHY - couldn't he just get regular red wings. Kind of a genuine inquiry. No need to kill people at all. Just have a few chicks on covert rotation - keep 'em well separated so they don't sync up - and his supply would be there whenever he needed it.

Thoughts?
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BanditsHigh
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PostPosted: 09:40 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
You do realise that he's a fictional character Thumbs Up
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 12:00 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Re: Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
Why was Dracula such a dickhead? If, as a vampire, he survived on blood why - OH WHY - couldn't he just get regular red wings. Kind of a genuine inquiry. No need to kill people at all.

Well.

A woman apparently loses an average of 60 mL of blood per cycle over an average of 4 days, an average of 15mL/day. Assuming the Count needs to feed daily? (or rather, nightly?) and drains every last drop of blood from his victims (average total blood volume 5 litres), that means he'd need to visit around 330 menstruating women each and every day. That's about 4 minutes per woman. But as you say, they can't be kept together or they'd sync up, so that 4 minutes includes travelling time (and any social niceties before getting down to it). Also ignores the fact that he can't be out and about during daylight so all these women will have to be kept in darkness; or else he operates only at night reducing his average time per meal even more.

trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
a few chicks on covert rotation

Not exactly, then...

Now I really have to stop procrastinating and go and cut my bloody hedge...
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:28 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
It depends on what it is in blood he actually needs. If it's red cells, he'd be better off living high on Mt. Everest, as there he'd have a constant supply of climbers to feed from. Given that they will be acclimatised before their push to the top, this means that their red cell count would be high, so actually he'd need less blood, and in season, there's a constant stream of highly vulnerable people to feed from.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 13:35 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
BanditsHigh wrote:
You do realise that he's a fictional character Thumbs Up


how'd you know I'm not?
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 13:42 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Re: Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
Why was Dracula such a dickhead? If, as a vampire, he survived on blood why - OH WHY - couldn't he just get regular red wings. Kind of a genuine inquiry. No need to kill people at all.

Well.

A woman apparently loses an average of 60 mL of blood per cycle over an average of 4 days, an average of 15mL/day. Assuming the Count needs to feed daily? (or rather, nightly?) and drains every last drop of blood from his victims (average total blood volume 5 litres), that means he'd need to visit around 330 menstruating women each and every day. That's about 4 minutes per woman. But as you say, they can't be kept together or they'd sync up, so that 4 minutes includes travelling time (and any social niceties before getting down to it). Also ignores the fact that he can't be out and about during daylight so all these women will have to be kept in darkness; or else he operates only at night reducing his average time per meal even more.

trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
a few chicks on covert rotation

Not exactly, then...

Now I really have to stop procrastinating and go and cut my bloody hedge...


Good points, well made. I suppose we need some data on just how much Blood the Count needs per day. Like, can he ingest sustenance in forms other than blood?? I appreciate he's not too partial to garlic, but even so. Maybe a bit of black pudding if he starts with the inner diva stuff. Black pudding could be Dracula's Snickers, I mean.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 13:44 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
chickenstrip wrote:
It depends on what it is in blood he actually needs. If it's red cells, he'd be better off living high on Mt. Everest, as there he'd have a constant supply of climbers to feed from. Given that they will be acclimatised before their push to the top, this means that their red cell count would be high, so actually he'd need less blood, and in season, there's a constant stream of highly vulnerable people to feed from.


So - secrete his covert bevvies of virginal chicks on the North Col. But with about a half mile between them.

So crazy it might just work!
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 15:15 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:
It depends on what it is in blood he actually needs. If it's red cells, he'd be better off living high on Mt. Everest, as there he'd have a constant supply of climbers to feed from. Given that they will be acclimatised before their push to the top, this means that their red cell count would be high, so actually he'd need less blood, and in season, there's a constant stream of highly vulnerable people to feed from.


So - secrete his covert bevvies of virginal chicks on the North Col. But with about a half mile between them.

So crazy it might just work!


My idea, the movie rights are mine!
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WD Forte
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PostPosted: 15:27 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
So selfish and unethical,
why couldn't he just have vegan blood?
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Islander
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PostPosted: 19:37 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Re: Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
But as you say, they can't be kept together or they'd sync up,


It's a myth. Studies don't support it.

There, that should make things easier for you. Laughing
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 20:16 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Vampires need on average about half a pint a day or if days are missed then a Vampire can go for about a month without human blood and can survive from animal blood, but would need at least 6 pints afterwards and a pint a day for at least two weeks afterwards. Pig's blood is a good substitute, but this needs to be drank in two pint sessions every other day.

It has to be fresh blood and not stale or from a dead being or animal, unless a beef steak.

Vampires can feed from each other, but this is not advisable due to some Vampires not being fussy who they feed from.

A Vegan Vampire is usually called a Dead Vampire, mainly due to them being dead because they are Vegan.

Vampires do like Virgin Blood, but in this country female Virgins of age are rare so they tend to feed from the Virgin Keyboard Warrior males you can find on most sites giving it large from their bedroom in their parents house, these Virgins can be at least 58 years old at times.

But I thought EVERYONE knew this.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 21:32 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Skudd wrote:
Vampires need on average about half a pint a day or if days are missed then a Vampire can go for about a month without human blood and can survive from animal blood, but would need at least 6 pints afterwards and a pint a day for at least two weeks afterwards. Pig's blood is a good substitute, but this needs to be drank in two pint sessions every other day.

It has to be fresh blood and not stale or from a dead being or animal, unless a beef steak.

Vampires can feed from each other, but this is not advisable due to some Vampires not being fussy who they feed from.

A Vegan Vampire is usually called a Dead Vampire, mainly due to them being dead because they are Vegan.

Vampires do like Virgin Blood, but in this country female Virgins of age are rare so they tend to feed from the Virgin Keyboard Warrior males you can find on most sites giving it large from their bedroom in their parents house, these Virgins can be at least 58 years old at times.

But I thought EVERYONE knew this.


it's like you're purposefully not mentioning the potential of a socially engineered, concurrently running, shark week(s)

what are you hiding

why are you prevaricating

what do you know that we don't
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to v or not to v
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PostPosted: 21:41 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
a topic to get your teeth into.
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 22:27 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:


it's like you're purposefully not mentioning the potential of a socially engineered, concurrently running, shark week(s)

what are you hiding

why are you prevaricating

what do you know that we don't


All I can say is that some flavours are less desirable due to those predispositioned to the Zombie ilk, using chicken bones as a method to lure your prey is frowned upon in the higher circles that a Vampire resides in.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 23:31 - 04 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I remember seeing a programme many years ago, a documentary on vampires where they used to hang people up by their feet, stick a tap in their neck and just drain a bit out at a time. They could keep them alive for ages as long as they didn't take too much.

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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 04:16 - 05 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Polarbear wrote:
I remember seeing a programme many years ago, a documentary on vampires where they used to hang people up by their feet, stick a tap in their neck and just drain a bit out at a time. They could keep them alive for ages as long as they didn't take too much.


innovative
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MarJay
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PostPosted: 13:00 - 05 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
You know that Dracula was a legend invented to demonise Vlad the impaler, right? It was some of the earliest propaganda fake news I guess?

I'm assuming that seeing as history is written by the victors, it's entirely possible that Vlad the Impaler wasn't even an impaler...?
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gbrand42
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PostPosted: 16:31 - 06 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I always thought Vlad the Impaler was a Russian porn star
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Diggs
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PostPosted: 18:43 - 06 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
....unlike his brother Vlad the Inhaler, the asthmatic vampire
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 19:33 - 08 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
WD Forte wrote:
So selfish and unethical,
why couldn't he just have vegan blood?


Human flesh is vegan. No animals being exploited.
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 19:38 - 08 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Skudd wrote:


A Vegan Vampire is usually called a Dead Vampire, mainly due to them being dead because they are Vegan.



Vampires are vegan by nature. Being vegan means not exploiting animals.

What you need to really worry about is if all Vampires are Vegan how many Vegans are Vampires and if Veganism is on the increase is there a risk so is vampirism. Worrying.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 00:22 - 09 Jun 2022    Post subject: Re: Dracula's bad attitude, no need for his shenanigans Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
black pudding


Two images have popped into my head.

The first is that you could have little stashes of black pudding frozen around the place at the top of Everest, in case of emergency. Or maybe wind-dried, like that chewy stuff South Africans eat.

The other involved Idris Elba eating a fried pigs-blood-and-sawdust sandwich - thick-sliced white bread and lashings of butter with a fried egg and tomato ketchup, sticky fingers. Shifty
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Diggs
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PostPosted: 07:52 - 09 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
The other involved Idris Elba eating a fried pigs-blood-and-sawdust sandwich - thick-sliced white bread and lashings of butter with a fried egg and tomato ketchup, sticky fingers.


Too much thought gone into that scenario, Madam!!! If I were Idris Elba, I'd be watching the bushes in my front garden for signs of a pervy stalker Laughing Laughing Laughing
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 08:09 - 09 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now
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Diggs
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PostPosted: 08:26 - 09 Jun 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now


...it's just a spring clean for the May Queen.

or a stalker Rolling Eyes
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