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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
Joined: 08 Mar 2019 Karma :
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Posted: 18:51 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: What to do with elderly parents |
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Finally back from Cornwall! All my mum's worldly goods are nicely packed away in a storage unit and all her plants are scattered across my back garden until she can move to her new place in a few weeks. So far so good, unfortunately...
Driving
My wife sat in the passenger seat to give her a few directions around our area and apparently she was all over the place: wrong side of the road, clipping curbs... the wife suggested going the local garden centre "I need a wee" but actually it was to find a quiet corner to hyperventilate
Loss of a car means a serious loss of independence, I suppose I shall be a taxi service for the next decade or so. I'm wondering how to approach this "How about a refresher course with a local driving school?" I'm thinking it might come a little bit better from a professional than me. ____________________ Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter |
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Fat Angry Scotsman |
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Fat Angry Scotsman World Chat Champion
Joined: 12 Jan 2021 Karma :
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Posted: 18:54 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: Re: What to do with elderly parents |
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MCN |
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MCN Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2015 Karma :
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Posted: 19:00 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: Re: What to do with elderly parents |
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Fat Angry Scotsman wrote: | |
Haw you!
That's Woke Care Worker territory Big Yin. ____________________ Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN. |
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Nobby the Bastard |
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Nobby the Bastard Harley Gaydar
Joined: 16 Aug 2013 Karma :
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stinkwheel |
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stinkwheel Bovine Proctologist
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 20:00 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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It's a tricky one. My folks are approaching that age too. My mums fine, she's just slowed the fuck down and doesn't do long journeys. I'm totally happy going in the car with her.
My Dad hasn't slowed down and also thinks it's my mum that's the bad driver because she drives cautiously. Anything that happens isn't his fault too. He reversed into a lamppost and it was the fault of the car because it was showing a warning across the reversing camera telling him to take care while manouvering (which is triggered when you're getting close to something) that obstructed his view of said lamp post. He kept reversing when he couldn't see in the camera and didn't look in the mirrors but it was the cars fault
He also changed lane into the side of a car because he couldn't see properly because the street lights were making his replacement eye lenses post cataract surgery flare. Admittedly the other car was passing on the left so that also wasn't his fault. However it was there to see in the nearside mirror and avoid, I got a real close-up view because I was in the passenger seat.
I'm hoping his next car will be a Tesla which should largely prevent him doing anything too fuckwitted in terms of veering out of his lane or running into anything, even if he trys to. ____________________ “Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles. |
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Nobby the Bastard |
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Nobby the Bastard Harley Gaydar
Joined: 16 Aug 2013 Karma :
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MCN |
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MCN Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2015 Karma :
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
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Nobby the Bastard |
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Nobby the Bastard Harley Gaydar
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MCN |
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MCN Super Spammer
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grr666 |
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grr666 Super Spammer
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Posted: 21:30 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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My dad has always been a shockingly bad driver, at 72 he's absolutely terrible. Prangs his car (usually on something
static like a kerb or a width restriction) on the regular. The only reason my Mum hasn't kicked off about it is that it
would mean she has to drive him places and they can't sit in a car together like that without him screaming his
head off at her. Remember the A Team? When you saw Mr T driving the A Team van he was always moving the steering
from side to side slightly in order to act like he was driving a moving vehicle. My dad is like that, constant unnecessary
little corrections and he grips the wheel he's trying to pull it off the boss. My Mum is much better at driving, until it gets dark.....
Then shes down right ruddy dangerous, she drives a sodding great big black 4x4 diesel Nissan Xtrail (god knows why)
and she's a liability in it after dark, that said she drives so rarely now anyway and most of the time it's in the daytime.
She maybe drives in low light twice a year, last time I was in the car with her after dark it was to and from the Christmas
do at the little hall in my sisters village. Mum doesn't drink at all so ends up being designated driver for that one.
My sister is a copper so I'm leaving it up to her to decide when enough is enough. ____________________ Currently enjoying products from Ford, Mazda and Yamaha
Ste wrote: Avatars are fine, it's signatures that need turning off. |
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gbrand42 |
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gbrand42 Could Be A Chat Bot
Joined: 23 Jul 2013 Karma :
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Posted: 21:46 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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I never thought I would be able to get my dad to give up driving, but we had a chat one day about the cost of driving and we did some sums together. Considering it was an older larger car with high RFL, plus old-git insurance premiums and petrol prices on a steep climb I quickly added everything up to a figure per week that I knew would cover taxi fares door to door for anything my parents would need. Admittedly my maths was a little overstated but it actually worked. He asked me to get rid of his old car for him (I scrapped it as it had 2 weeks MOT remaining) and he sent his licence back a couple of weeks later.
6 years down the line he is 86 and is unfortunately fast approaching the end but he has never once said he regretted stopping driving. ____________________ Yamaha RD50M, Honda C90, Yamaha RS100, Yamaha RD125LC, Honda XL125 V9 Varadero, Honda NT700VA, Honda VFR800X, Honda CRF1000L, Honda ST1300 Pan European |
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 22:32 - 18 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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Well ...
I plan to run my mother over with her own car, if I can manage it.
She reckons she's left it to me in her will, although now I'm out of favour again I imagine she might have changed that ...
Shame really, it would have been fun to drive her car around in the full knowledge that it had her claret spattered all over the mudguards. In an ideal world I might have bundled her broken and bleeding body into the boot and pushed it over a cliff.
At least, that's my latest Hitchcockian fantasy movie plot.
____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
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Robby |
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Robby Dirty Old Man
Joined: 16 May 2002 Karma :
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Feasty |
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Feasty World Chat Champion
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 11:24 - 19 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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We're in a similar situation, my father-in-law is in his 80's now and has had 2 strokes. He can barely walk and his reactions and eyesight are a real concern. He drives a huge Insignia estate and refuses to get rid of it believing his driving is fine.
Every time we see him the car has more scrapes down the sides or back, or is in a garage getting patched up again. The kerb is considered part of the road whilst driving!
It's really hard though, do you shop them in and take away their last chances of independence, and ruin any remaining relationship you might have with them? There's no way he can walk to a bus stop living in a small, hilly village.
He's an arse anyway, turned his back on family to marry a woman less than 5 months after his wife of 65yrs passed away. And now his new wife says if he has to stop driving they're moving to where her family is 300miles away.
Personally I'm quite happy for that to happen, but my wife is the one being affected by it all. ____________________ Previous: Aprilia Habana Retro 50cc (beauty), Yamaha SR125 (fell apart), Honda XR125 (nippy little commuter), Honda SLR650 (Geewhizz), Yamaha Diversion 900S (Smoooooth) written off courtesy of a stupid escaped horse.
(7 year gap), BMW F650 (Relaxing ride). Aprilia Caponord ETV1000 (Big and bold). Yamaha FZS600 (got me in trouble too quick!).
Current: Yamaha TDM 900 (Comfy, light but big, power when needed). |
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Ste Not Work Safe
Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :
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Ribenapigeon |
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Ribenapigeon Super Spammer
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Ribenapigeon |
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Ribenapigeon Super Spammer
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Posted: 13:02 - 19 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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I just had a thought. Imagine in the future with all the self driving cars, how long before there's an incident where some car has just been driving around and around with a dead old person in it. .
Reminds me of an Ian M Banks book where theres this powered exoskeleton AI space suit just wandering around a wasteland for years with a corpse inside.
The future is creepy. |
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Ribenapigeon |
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Ribenapigeon Super Spammer
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A100man |
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A100man World Chat Champion
Joined: 19 Aug 2013 Karma :
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Posted: 14:28 - 19 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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Did she drive her car from Cornwall? ____________________ Now: A100, GT250A, XJ598, FZ750
Then: Fizz, RS200, KL250, XJ550, Laverda Alpina, XJ600, FZS600 |
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MCN |
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MCN Super Spammer
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Ribenapigeon |
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Ribenapigeon Super Spammer
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Nobby the Bastard |
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Nobby the Bastard Harley Gaydar
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
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Posted: 16:57 - 19 Apr 2023 Post subject: |
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Ribenapigeon wrote: | Reminds me of an Ian M Banks book where theres this powered exoskeleton AI space suit just wandering around a wasteland for years with a corpse inside.
The future is creepy. |
I think that got turned into a short story animation, probably Love, Death + Robots.
I drove the car from Cornwall. We got as far as Exeter services before my mum realised she'd left her rings behind, that added 2hrs to the journey I will say her car certainly can shift when it needs to!
Anyhoo, I drove her to the bank today to check if she liked the branch (she doesn't) and make sure she actually has the house money. I knew at some point she'd make a comment about the roads, traffic or something and that's when I chipped in I'll have to ferry her about, at least till she has a refresher session with a driving instructor. That didn't go down too badly, surprisingly.
I was feeling rather depressed about the whole affair yesterday but then I recalled she only really went out in the car once or twice a week for the shops. And our next door neighbours have volunteered to give her a lift to the local garden club which was nice of them.
She has ambitions of buying a house rather than renting but a) it's a bit pricy round my way if your pre-requisite is a garden and b) sheltered accommodation would be more appropriate bordering on residential care Fuck knows how she survived on her own since my dad died.
It would help if she sought medical help or therapy for her anxiety - something to bother the doctors with when I find her a new GP. ____________________ Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter |
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 1 year, 26 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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