The French

[Sadie]

An Englishman is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread??"

Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The Englishman listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

Englishman: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England."

After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

Englishman: "We don't. In England, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France."
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With experience comes age.

[Sadie]

A Frenchman and an Englishman are walking along a beach, and they find a lamp in the sand. They rub the lamp and POOF! a genie appears. The genie says, "to thank you for freeing me, I'll give you a wish each". The Frenchman says, "I believe in France for the French, so I want a wall built all the way round the French borders to keep the French in and to stop foreigners getting in". POOF! “’Tis done”, says the genie. The Englishman thinks for a moment and says, "tell me more about this wall genie". The genie explains, "the wall surrounds all of France; it’s 1000 feet high and a mile thick".

The Englishman says, "fill it with water”!
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With experience comes age.

[lozzypop1]

I've heard it before but it makes me chuckle every single time!

Although Sadie i must ask.... Where was the beach? (slaps myself to save other from having to)
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Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[Sadie]

[binge]

[fuzz]

If you fill a large walled area with water, whatever is inside drowns
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[MalcolmT]

There are four people in a carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.

It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.

The old lady thinks "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him".

The pretty young blonde thinks " I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him".

The Frenchman thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me".

The Englishman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French tw.t again".

[lozzypop1]

had to read that out loud (easily confused)

nice one
____________________
Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[fast_tzr]

[lozzypop1]

Why does anything offensive always start with the words 'no offence' ?
____________________
Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[camcam]

its like anything racist allways start with "im but racist but..."
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laugh now cry later
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