The triumphant return of John Barnes

[RobB]

"I come from Jamaica, my name is John Bar-nes. When I score a goal the crowd go bana-nes!" (clicky for BBC story)

For those that remember/care, John Barnes (ex-Watford footballer), is making a triumphant return to the music scene. Following the legendary Anfield Rap, and the unrivalled success of his solo rap on New Order's World in Motion, his return was of course inevitable.

This is the best/funniest news I've heard in ages, and it has inspired me to start my own work for the John Barnes Solo Project, for which I will accept any suggestions.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the tune of LL Cool J's "Mama said knock you out"

Don't call it a comeback
I been here for years.
Taking the jeers,
with pasties and beers.
Lettin the pounds pile on like a sumo.
Explosion, overpowerin
Even over Americans, I'm towerin'
A dribbling shop, I whack in the cross, passes that will make you call the cops
Don't you dare stare, you'll get 'megged
Don't ever compare
Me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced,
Competition's paying the price,
of my dinner.
.....
I'm gonna eat dem pies.
Mama said eat dem pies.
I'm gonna eat dem pies.
Mama said eat dem pies.
I'm gonna eat dem pies.
Mama said eat dem pies.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

____________________
- Yeah, you know the type, loud as a motorbike, wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight.
- The only thing I learned from love, was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.
- If I don't meet you no more in this world, I'll meet you in the next one, don't be late.

[RobB]

Mailed my mate Rich, who came up with a Barnes-ed up Ice Ice Baby .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yo VIP let's kick it

Barnes Barnes baby (x2)

All right stop collaborate and listen
Barnes is back with my brand new invention
Vin-ny grabs a hold of me tightly
Play like a numpty... I like to wear a nighty

Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll go
Straight past Brazil, I 'meg em all in my sandals
Light up a stage, burn my gut like a candle

Shimmy go shoot at the keeper that booms
I'm killing your brain like a McMahon fume
Deadly when I play a dope melody
Anything less than tights and gloves is a felony

Love it or leave it you better gain weight
You better hit bullseye, a shot don't waste
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it
Check out this cross while DJ Campbell revolves it...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
____________________
- Yeah, you know the type, loud as a motorbike, wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight.
- The only thing I learned from love, was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.
- If I don't meet you no more in this world, I'll meet you in the next one, don't be late.