A bit sad today :(

[Fortuna]

Hi,
My girlfriend has been feeling poorly and has been back and forth to hospital for some time. She was told she has Endometriosis with other problems on top. On her check up today they told her she was pregnant but that it is ectopic. She will lose it.
Sadly it looks like she will never have children after surgery.
I'm gutted.

Edit: Advice welcomed.

[colin1]

thats a biggy
no advice but plenty of sympathy
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[Darkside]

Jesus i'm sorry to hear that, life can be shit at the best of times. Advice: The pair of you, stay strong.

Regards, Francis.
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[Paul@125power]

There is plenty of advice for couples in your situation, not of which I am really qualified to give.

This is not what I would do or what I am suggesting to do, but, some couples have their eggs and sperm frozen for later purposes such as if the couple really want to have children and decide on involving a serogate mother.

As I said before, this is not my opinion or a suggestion on what to do, but there is a lot of help out their and I hope that you and your partner get it.

All I can do is offer my most deepest sympathies because I have been their when I did my medical and hospital experience and couples have been given the news. It is a hard blow to you both and you will both take some time to recover from the shock.

One thing that is for sure is that despite the horrible blow, it will make you 2 a stronger couple, if you both can get throughout this together, there will be very little that will get between you 2. But, it does take the both of you tackle this problem together, be their for each other, help each other, comfort and strengthen each other.


I hope you 2 get though this in the least painful way and I sincererly hope this cements your relationship and only makes it stronger.

Be strong for each other!

The Bible, Judges 5:31:
May they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength
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If at first you don't succeed.....destroy all evidence that you tried.

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[bindy]

That sucks mate. Hang in there. Just give her all the support you can, but dont forget about looking after yourself because you need to be able to look after her. Stay strong then you can get through anything together.

[carlnicholson...]

Makes me realise just how insignificant my problems are.

Chin up mate.

Me ang the Mrs have spoken a few times about what we would do if we couldn't have kids. We are sure we both want to have a child, and agree that if we were unfortunate enough to not be able to have any, maybe that misfortune could be turned on it's head and be used to give an unfortunate child the best life we could give it.

Adoption is a scary subject, but we are sure we could give a child all the love, strength and happiness it could ever need to have a good life.

Don't let it be the end of your world's just the start of something else.
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[Katie]

Oh god that's awful. I'm so sorry for you and your Girlfriend.

Just be there for each other, and I know you must be feeling terrible right now, but try and remember it doesn't mean the door has completely closed on you starting a family together one day.

xxx
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Never have a row with an Idiot, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

[Fortuna]

Thank you all for your kind words.

[Flip]

That's sh1t.

I'm sure the hospital will put you in touch with councellers (*sp) to help you both.

Just watch how you ride that bike while you are upset.

[shellshock]

Really sorry, I think ectopic pregnancies are one of the hardest to come to terms with, hope you both recover soon.

I'd suggest if its possible for her to have some eggs frozen, gives you both a chance to decide in the future what you would like to do.

[msgander]

[zaknafien]

My girlfriend was diagnosed with exactly the same, Endometriosis and an ectopic pregnancy. She went in had the operation to remove it and everything seemed fine for awhile until we discovered the doctors and surgeon hadn't been very thorough and had missed this little fella.

https://www.s116377775.websitehome.co.uk/images/jamie2.jpg

It turns out the pregnancy was twin's but the doctors had missed it, we didn't find out till a while later. Unfortunately because of the operation to remove the other fetus he's got problems. Spina-bifida and Hydrocephalus, so far he's had about 6 operations and has another big one coming up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is makes sure the doctors are sure and just be there for her.
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02 Firestorm.

[nrml76]

It is not definite that all women with ectopic pregnancies or endometriosis will not have children. Some are more likely to than others, and it is quite unpredictable who will and who wont. Dont lose all hope yet. IVF is a possibility if the uterus is healthy, as they will leave her ovaries in place.

[Fortuna]

Thanks for all your replies. We have spoken about it and what people have said on here. We will not see it defeat us as we want kids one day. Just a shame we had to lose this one really.

[Fortuna]

[Flip]

Is that good or bad?