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A bit sad today :(

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Fortuna
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Joined: 29 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: 00:40 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: A bit sad today :( Reply with quote

Hi,
My girlfriend has been feeling poorly and has been back and forth to hospital for some time. She was told she has Endometriosis with other problems on top. On her check up today they told her she was pregnant but that it is ectopic. She will lose it.
Sadly it looks like she will never have children after surgery.
I'm gutted.

Edit: Advice welcomed.
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colin1
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Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: 01:10 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats a biggy
no advice but plenty of sympathy
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Darkside
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Joined: 02 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 01:41 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jesus i'm sorry to hear that, life can be shit at the best of times. Advice: The pair of you, stay strong.

Regards, Francis.
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Paul@125power
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Joined: 01 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: 01:57 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is plenty of advice for couples in your situation, not of which I am really qualified to give.

This is not what I would do or what I am suggesting to do, but, some couples have their eggs and sperm frozen for later purposes such as if the couple really want to have children and decide on involving a serogate mother.

As I said before, this is not my opinion or a suggestion on what to do, but there is a lot of help out their and I hope that you and your partner get it.

All I can do is offer my most deepest sympathies because I have been their when I did my medical and hospital experience and couples have been given the news. It is a hard blow to you both and you will both take some time to recover from the shock.

One thing that is for sure is that despite the horrible blow, it will make you 2 a stronger couple, if you both can get throughout this together, there will be very little that will get between you 2. But, it does take the both of you tackle this problem together, be their for each other, help each other, comfort and strengthen each other.


I hope you 2 get though this in the least painful way and I sincererly hope this cements your relationship and only makes it stronger.

Be strong for each other!

The Bible, Judges 5:31:
May they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength

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bindy
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Joined: 04 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: 03:25 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

That sucks mate. Hang in there. Just give her all the support you can, but dont forget about looking after yourself because you need to be able to look after her. Stay strong then you can get through anything together.
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carlnicholson...
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Joined: 13 Mar 2005
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PostPosted: 05:15 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Makes me realise just how insignificant my problems are.

Chin up mate.

Me ang the Mrs have spoken a few times about what we would do if we couldn't have kids. We are sure we both want to have a child, and agree that if we were unfortunate enough to not be able to have any, maybe that misfortune could be turned on it's head and be used to give an unfortunate child the best life we could give it.

Adoption is a scary subject, but we are sure we could give a child all the love, strength and happiness it could ever need to have a good life.

Don't let it be the end of your world's just the start of something else. Wink
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Katie
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Joined: 17 Apr 2005
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PostPosted: 12:24 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh god that's awful. I'm so sorry for you and your Girlfriend. Sad

Just be there for each other, and I know you must be feeling terrible right now, but try and remember it doesn't mean the door has completely closed on you starting a family together one day.

xxx
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Fortuna
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PostPosted: 13:49 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for your kind words.
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Flip
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Joined: 28 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 19:27 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's sh1t.

I'm sure the hospital will put you in touch with councellers (*sp) to help you both. Karma Karma Karma

Just watch how you ride that bike while you are upset. Thumbs Up
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shellshock
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 19:35 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really sorry, I think ectopic pregnancies are one of the hardest to come to terms with, hope you both recover soon.

I'd suggest if its possible for her to have some eggs frozen, gives you both a chance to decide in the future what you would like to do.
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msgander
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Joined: 31 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: 21:21 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Sadly it looks like she will never have children after surgery.


Let me give you a little ray of hope.......can't guarantee anything but...

Myself....diagnosed after 5 years of having it (and not treated) with Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, basically my womany bits were all stuck together due to scarring and were a mess.

Both tubes blocked and told I would never have children....

I also got diagnosed upon being opened up with endometriosis...

So sort of went and bought a nice horse and gave up on kids.

Fell pregnant about a year later......was eptopic and lost a tube........

So with endo, scarring, one useless tube left......not sure how I got pregnant and had eptopic in first place, again I really gave up..

3 years later, whilst not really thinking about it along came......

My lovely daughter (she didnt come out this big!) she is now 6 years old and an absolute gem!!, totally unexpected at the time....

Dont ever give up hope if you want kids one day...

My advice to anyone trying is not to! - just try and give up on it and when you least expect it....along they pop. PM me if you need endo website...lots of helpful sources on there.

Good Luck
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zaknafien




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PostPosted: 21:50 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

My girlfriend was diagnosed with exactly the same, Endometriosis and an ectopic pregnancy. She went in had the operation to remove it and everything seemed fine for awhile until we discovered the doctors and surgeon hadn't been very thorough and had missed this little fella.

https://www.s116377775.websitehome.co.uk/images/jamie2.jpg

It turns out the pregnancy was twin's but the doctors had missed it, we didn't find out till a while later. Unfortunately because of the operation to remove the other fetus he's got problems. Spina-bifida and Hydrocephalus, so far he's had about 6 operations and has another big one coming up.

I guess what I'm trying to say is makes sure the doctors are sure and just be there for her.
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nrml76
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PostPosted: 22:47 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is not definite that all women with ectopic pregnancies or endometriosis will not have children. Some are more likely to than others, and it is quite unpredictable who will and who wont. Dont lose all hope yet. IVF is a possibility if the uterus is healthy, as they will leave her ovaries in place.
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Fortuna
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PostPosted: 23:20 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all your replies. We have spoken about it and what people have said on here. We will not see it defeat us as we want kids one day. Just a shame we had to lose this one really.
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Fortuna
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PostPosted: 23:21 - 06 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

flip wrote:
That's sh1t.

I'm sure the hospital will put you in touch with councellers (*sp) to help you both. Karma Karma Karma

Just watch how you ride that bike while you are upset. Thumbs Up

Read my fathers mind there.
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Flip
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PostPosted: 00:03 - 07 Apr 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is that good or bad? Shifty
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