Fatboy McFat!

[Mister James]

Well, I've just had my induction for the gym round the corner from me, as I realised it was only £7 more expensive than my half-price corporate membership near work - and a fair bit closer than 15 miles away!

I guess I was expecting a bit of a horror story, having not lifted a weight or jogged a step since October the 17th, but it was still pretty scary seeing it all written down on paper!

My blood pressure is fine, as is my lung capacity, but I'm as weak as a kitten, around 2 stone overweight, and have a higher % body fat than the average pork scratching! Not quite at JonnyXXX's majestic size, but getting on for it!

To make matters worse (and following the trend set while I was in hospital) the black lass taking my readings and showing me the ropes was gorgeous, about 7 stone and superbly toned.

While she was showing me various exercises and encouraging me to look at her backside and inner thighs, I was exerting all of my considerable willpower to avoid a 'pitched tent' fiasco. By the time I'd got the old trouser snake under control, I was too tired to excel at any of the exercises!

Still, I feel much better for the workout, although its a little upsetting comparing my performance now with 5 months ago. I'm thinking about getting a t-shirt printed up with a slogan along the lines of "It's not my fault I'm so fat and weak, I had a crash, honest!".

Any fellow porkers feel free to post your tales of woe and make me feel better.

Any skinny runts feel free to keep your cake-holes shut - I might be less lithe than usual, but I do have access to riot armour and side-handled batons!
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>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[Whosthedaddy]

[carlnicholson...]

I'm fat, and weak, and lazy.

My BMI must be nearing triple figures, and I have the energy reserves of an ageing terapin.

I was once fit, and quite strong. I used to be competative at cross country, and was quite good at weight lifting. That was only 3 years ago, and now, I can't even do a single chin up. I can't run more than 50 yards, and I'm round and wobbly.

God help me, because I can't be arsed to help myself.


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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[McGee]

I got all my own equipment it worked out cheaper in the long run. The closest gym is awful. The equipment is from the 70's I swear.


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◙◙► K6 GSXR 600 ◄◙◙◙◙► K5 GSXR 1000 ◄◙◙◙◙► K5 GSXR 600 ◄◙◙◙◙► 96 RF600r ◄◙◙
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Its pronounced Jixxer!

[Mister James]

I have a bench with a fair few weights, but can't really be arsed to work out where to stick it in my new flat, so it's gathering dust in my parent's garage.

I find that once I've made the effort to get to the gym, I tend to stay and work-out longer than I would at home, and as previously mentioned, there is often the odd bit of eye-candy on display.

I'm so stiff at the moment I actually popped a couple of the painkillers I was given for my crash injuries - that soon did the trick!
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>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[Ric]

what gym out of intrest have u joined mate?

[Mister James]

'Zoom leisure' - they run the old Kodak social club now.

Not the biggest gym, and there are better ones in town, but it's a 10 minute stroll away, and more than adequate for my needs.

£32 a month is pretty impressive for Harrow, no point paying more when I don't even use half of the facilities.
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>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[Ric]

oh cool, im back from uni soon and am at fitness first down here which is all good. dont think its too great in harrow

i might have to rejoin dragons in northwood but ill have a look at the kodak one

[HerbalDayZ]

Ah don't worry about it m8 live 1 time an live it happy.

I had to go to health visitor after bad asthma attacks week ago to be told I'm Obesely obese (Like i didn't know that) when i nr feel liek having a heart attack climbing stairs .Good job bought flat with lift ay

Al tho i must admit people go on about fat people but have they thought how hard it is for some to actually go to a gym to be staired at like something some one owns an feels they can make snide comments .

Ive had to take steroids for a long time i come off them an recently been given another months worth i have to take 6 tablets a day Prednisolone .When asking the health visitor OK so these gonna put more weight on to the honest reply of yes most prob.So i then say so can you prescribe some to make me lose weight .Unfortunately answer being No .Great huh here's some tablets that make you a fat bastard but we cant help you to lose it .Oh an it will prob be 2 3 times harder then the average person losing weight Bastards .I give up ide rather be fat now then try pleasing others
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my sepllnig is bad i udnretsand taht so i aolpisge.
dys?lex?i?a (A learning disorder marked by impairment of the ability to recognize and comprehend written words.dyslexia (impaired ability to learn to read)

[thx1138]

I too have joined a gym! the crunch came when the replacement uniform that I had ordered from my line manager arrived and didn't fit.

my waist measurement is larger than my chest

I've joined for 3 months, in an attempt to lose weight

[Mister James]

Waist larger than your chest?!!? ouch!

When I went back to work about 4 weeks ago, I had to order new uniform as I'd gone up a size in everything! Was pretty annoyed, as I'd pretty much got to a size and weight I was happy with, and had sorted out loads of kit so I didn't have to do much laundry!
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>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[thx1138]

As long as I don't drink much beer, actually go to the gym and do stuff and not lounge in the spa, and use my bicycle a bit more often, I should be alright.

Since I got back into motorbikes in August, I've not walked or cycled anywhere...... I'm going to change that!

[xlizx]

Thin peole are lazy and unfit too. The only reason I'm a size 6 is 'cause I have a fast metabolism. I used to do aerobics and kickboxing for a little while, but now rarely get any exercise (except walking and sex), and because of my job, I eat Mc Donald's three times a week, though the fact it's relatively unwillingly doesn't make a difference
I gotta start doing exercise too, my asthma's worse than it's ever been and if I run for the bus or train then I'm out of breath almost instantly. I don't think being fat has anything to do with it, it's just a lack of exercise that gets your body into a bad way.
*mental note to self....join gym...damn it, I swore again....*

[akaDAVE]

I refuse to join a gym because I know it will be a complete waste of money for me.
MOST people I know who join a gym constantly moan about how they should be going more and are never satisfied with thier efforts.
My philosophy is to focus on what I actually want to get from excercise. I don't enjoy doing it, only the satisfaction afterwards as a reward. I know I could never be arsed to go back out after work to drive to a gym and I really don't have time anyway.
I just spend 15mins every day when I get in from work doing press ups, sit ups and as many pull ups as I can manage. I go running for two week periods every now and then to get fit but I don't expect myself to keep it up ongoing.
I'm not going to win any medals but it keeps me in a reasonably solid shape. I keep and eye on my weight and cut down on food/beer accordingly. Simple.

Unfortunately it seems beer = fat.
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GSXR600

[Walloper]

Ta Mr James.
I live a stones throw from a gym place but I'm to weak to walk to it and check in.
But you just gave me the incentive.
I'm not a fat bastard but could lose 1 1/2 stone off all over.
Eating should stop and beer also.
More work etc.
Oh I'm bored already.
I'll post results later.
But a good idea.

And you have all that SEXI PPE. You bitch.
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[WR450_geezer]

[craigie b]

[Walloper]

I was so stiff but lukily managed to shake it off
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W-ireless A-rtificial L-ifeform L-imited to O-bservation P-eacekeeping and E-fficient R-epair

[Mister James]

[Irezumi aka Reuben]

[rK@NE]

I'm 5'11 and only 10st, I just can't seem to be able to gain weight. I'd love to be 12st

Must start going to the gym

[Reevo8]

5'11 12 stone after my injuries in August meant that I couldnt go to the gym for 6 months. I was previously an abbed 13.5 to 14 stone!

Just getting into a steady training plan has caused a noticeable muscle memory assisted strength gain almost immediately.

Keep at it! Nout worse than a fat person who doesnt try and sort the problem out!
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05 ZX10R, (**05 WKR)

[Mister James]

The one drawback of regaining my lithe killer's form is that at the moment, it gives me extra leverage with the africans and jamaicans. They tend to respect size, even if it's 100% pork rather than beef.

The couple that were still in the centre 6 months ago when I had my crash are a little confused as to what kind of holiday takes you away for 5 months and brings you back still pale and 2 stone heavier, but the rest see it is a badger of honour!

"Yes Big Man"

"Safe Big Man"

"Nuff respect Big Man"

Etc.

Bless their devilish little hearts.
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>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[Lost_Prophet]

i know how you feel, i had'nt done any exercise for 3 years, until 2 months ago, and although not overly overweight, bout half a stone, i was so outta shape, all my muscle disappeared, then i decided to join the army, so im paying for my sind atm
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Its not how fast you ride, its how you ride fast