A whole lotta Chuck for you...

[IronMaiden]

No one on the planet is as tough as Chuck Norris... here is the proof

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris only uses a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: Death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

Most reported Bigfoot sightings are just Chuck Norris with his shirt off. Loch Ness sightings, on the other hand, are Chuck with his pants off.

Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

People with amnesia still remember Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops

There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control

The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.

Chuck Norris likes long walks on the beach, Barry White music, Harlequin romance novels, songbirds, rainbows, and quiet time with his lady...just before he roundhouse kicks her in the face.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas.

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

For undercover police work, Chuck Norris pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris ... dies.

The only way Ferrari will win in 2006 ---->

[Whosthedaddy]

Clicky

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[The View Askew]

Chuck Norris loves you
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"Do what you always did, get what you always got"