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| colin1 |
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colin1
Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005
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 Posted: 17:10 - 03 Apr 2006  Post subject: |
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| Katie wrote: | Just from reading your posts if I had to guess your age I would have said you were about a 14/15 year old guy with no experience of being in a relationship what so ever. |
Your judgement isnt quite as good as you think it is. Its easy to simplfy things so that one person is the bad guy and the other the goody but its more complicated than that. As the girl in the other relationship thread tried to explain.
Im similar to the guy in this thread, not been with many girls but had a relationship of a few years.
Neither of us wanted the relationship to end but she was willing to be quite unpleasant to try to get me to become what she wanted me to become, and I wasnt really up for that sort of treatment. Things happened and we have split, but we both wish it could have worked out. Maybe in different circumstances it would have worked out. We are still friends but at a distance and chat occasionally on the phone.
I know girls tend to be a bit keener to settle down than blokes, but also blokes who have not had many serious girlfriends, dont necessarily want to settle down with their first serious girlfriend.
There are two threads on here about relationships and they could be the two side of the same thing. Its rare that relationships are as exciting after 2 years as they are after 2 months. They may be more comfortable but some people want excitement or romance.
Some people just accept it and live with it, others want more out of life.
The responses given to the different threads, are more about the way the original poster described the situation.
In the girls thread she dwelled on what she wasnt getting and what she wanted from the relationship. In the guys thread, he dwelled on his thoughts of other girls. However the guy hasnt issued his girlfriend with an ultimatum to improve the relationship or she is dumped. He is trying to understand what he wants.
Issuing ultimatums and then dumping your partner if they dont comply, is no more mature than seeing if you do want to leave your girlfriend or you dont, before you make a final decision.
Before quitting a job, its best to have another job lined up. You might go to some interviews and decide that you are better off where you are. What a pillock you would have been if you had quit your job before you had the interview and realised your mistake in the interview.
I think its Katie that needs to grow up 
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| Katie |
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Katie
Spanner Monkey
Joined: 17 Apr 2005
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Posted: 19:32 - 03 Apr 2006  Post subject: |
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Actually, my questioning your level of maturity was down to your comments, that Sticky had trained her partner, that women need to more or less trap men, and that they are past it when they reach the age of 40! And those comments alone. It had nothing to do with the finer details of why you split up with your Girlfriend (though thanks for that). Which incidently I didn't even know until you replied to my post. 
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| colin1 |
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colin1
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Visitor Q
$25 whore
Joined: 30 Apr 2004
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| woo |
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woo
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| Posted: 23:03 - 03 Apr 2006 Post subject: |
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so interesting!!! 
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| colin1 |
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colin1
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| xlizx |
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xlizx
Scooby Slapper
Joined: 17 Jun 2005
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| Posted: 12:53 - 04 Apr 2006 Post subject: |
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I appreciated Wildgoose's comments...maybe he was a bit heavyhanded in conveying them, but the general idea is right. I'm not sure what's to gain by people shagiing about like there's no tomorrow. It's a bit weird how people (men) are claiming that men don't want to srttle down and women seem to want kids, that women want to change men and see that as a problem while the men brood over the attractive girls they can't have sex with.
Well, my boyfriend told me a few nights ago that he sees what we have as for life, that he wants to be with me forever and sees me as being the one he takes down the aisle and who has his children. I don't think I've ever said anything like that to him, regardless of whether I've thought it or not. He's asked me the kind of ring I'd want for an engagement ring, and we've named our (imaginary) children already. Anyone who claims men can't be as devoted or into the future as women don't know what they are talking about.
In relationships, you DO change. Maybe not even consciously. Looking back, the way he's treated me in the past and the present have been very different, and he's not the same person he used to be, neither am I. Women don't sit down with notepads and list their partner's faults, scheming away to change them, although it seems to be popular belief that we do. I've changed for him, he's changed for me. And I also see no reason why a relationship can go stale and cold....it only does if you let it. If you get boredin the bedroom, there are things you can do to liven things up if you want to. I guess a lot of people use that as a get-out clause. |
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| lozzypop1 |
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lozzypop1
Certified MILF!
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| msgander |
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msgander
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| Posted: 22:38 - 04 Apr 2006 Post subject: |
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women age quicker than men, where on earth are you getting this info from colinwall?! you do make me chuckle!! 
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zaknafien
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| xlizx |
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xlizx
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| Posted: 09:51 - 05 Apr 2006 Post subject: |
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Visitor Q
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| Posted: 15:23 - 05 Apr 2006 Post subject: |
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| xlizx wrote: | Takes a lot more than simple words to keep me sweet n |
Hmmm 
| Quote: | Well, my boyfriend told me a few nights ago that he sees what we have as for life, that he wants to be with me forever and sees me as being the one he takes down the aisle and who has his children. I don't think I've ever said anything like that to him, regardless of whether I've thought it or not. He's asked me the kind of ring I'd want for an engagement ring, and we've named our (imaginary) children already. Anyone who claims men can't be as devoted or into the future as women don't know what they are talking about. |
To be fair, i dont lie to women, ever. Cant be arsed with the agro of the 'you said you loved me you cunt' type convos. But i know plenty of guys who do, or mistake being hungry for love or something equally stupid.
But its amazing how the right lie in the right place would bed SO many women. True when they get abit older they tend to have heard it all and be less naive, but under 25yo they believe any old tripe.
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From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule... |
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| TheBoyChris |
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TheBoyChris
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Posted: 02:46 - 08 Apr 2006  Post subject: |
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| bonny_ricardo wrote: | But its amazing how the right lie in the right place would bed SO many women. True when they get abit older they tend to have heard it all and be less naive, but under 25yo they believe any old tripe. |
Ah ha... as do men though. I think it's wrong to just generalise women in this way - I'd say men are just as susceptible to this kind of thing.
Relationships are hard when you're younger. You don't know what you're doing, so you wing it. Do it off the cuff. Make shit up to keep the other person happy, or try and convince yourself of something which isn't true.
In the end there's no clear cut way to deal with this stuff. I've seen people who've got together at 16 and are still sunshine and roses to this day, and on the same hand I've seen two very good friends finally hit it off, only to have the thing last 6 months and never speak again.
In this particular instance, I personally think you've got to ask yourself these questions:
a> - How strongly do you want to shag someone else? Is it a passing itch, or is it something which never leaves your mind?
b> - Where do you want the relationship with your missus to end? Are you just trundling along, or do you see white dresses, a big party and maybe kids?
c> - And finally, is she happy too? This is one that generally speaking shouldn't be broached, it can open up floodgates and lead to the end, but if you're getting the hint that maybe she's not digging it anymore, the whole thing is coming to a natural close?
On that last point, you've got to be careful too - sometimes the mind see's what it wants, and just because you burnt the dinner and she's pissed, doesn't mean she wants shut of you 
My advice: Take a long think about your situation, listen to others but in the end the specific conditions you're in can only be taken in fully by you, and thus the decision has to come from you too.
Good luck, I certainly don't envy you - hope all that wasn't gobshite
Chris
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 18 years, 25 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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