Do I teach my kid to hit back ?

[Retro-Man]

Just looking for opinions.

We have always brought our son up to respect other peoples feelings, be polite and nice. which has made him very sensitive to how people treat him, he gets upset easily as he does not understand why some people are not nice, btw he is now 6.5 years old.

how ever we have a couple of slightly older 9-10 chav kids who find it entertaining to wind him up, small jibes, walking off with his toys, kicking his football away from him etc etc. all minor stuff but because he is so sensitive he gets very upset.

now contrary to my own beliefs I can't help finding myself telling my boy to toughen up a bit and rather than showing them he is upset, to answer back by telling them to sod off or even if they really push it to simply wack one of them with a big stick.

the parents of said children take the attitude that if their kids happen to be bigger then that makes them top dog, totally condoning their kids behavior.

any input gratefully received

Retro
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[colin1]

If the kids are older and there are more of them, hes not really gonna be able to beat them

if the parents wont do anything, Id go to the offending kids and scare them a bit.

Or you could just make it so that your kid isnt out when they are if you dont want confrontation.

If you reckon the kids will stop if he just stands up to them a bit or just doesnt get upset, maybe it can come from him, but hes not really going to be able to fight them.

but i dont have kids, so ppl with kids are better placed to answer
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[WildGoose]

i'd say stick with the fact that it takes the bigger man to walk away

i.e. if they kick his football, tell him to get his football and go play somewhere else

nothing changes even if this shitty day and age, and smacking someone never solves anything, because they just come back and come back, and will probly just get worse

ideally he wants to not show them he is upset, because that feeds them to do it more, but shouting at them isnt the way either, i'd encourage him to ignore their behaviour best he can, and walk away

just my 2 cents, i may be wrong

i'd only smack someone if i needed to in order to make an escape route, and then it would be billy big steps out of there as fast as possible
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So in other words, he stopped you for being flagrantly in posession of a motorcycle in direct contravention of the Hippies, Darkies and People Whose Face I Don't Like The Look of (Police Powers) Act. 1976

[Retro-Man]

pretty much my thinking, he would not stand a chance in a fight
its not fair on him to keep him locked in

but I do think that if he does not react as he does then they will get bored and fook off.

am so close to taking one of themm to one side and whispering in his shell like that I just might sneak in to his house while hes asleep and slit his throat.

Must remind myself they are only kids
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[ash t]

Does he play on his own?

Maybe have some of his friends over to play. Safety comes in numbers!

Dont you just hate little sh!ts!
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[Lone-Wolf]

[ash t]

You talk sense!
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When You're Starting To Choke, Take Some Pills With Your Coke, Its Hyserical

[Retro-Man]

[cqueen]

Dont get parents involved.

What you should do is bribe a couple of even older kids with say £5 or £10 quid each, to go and tell them little shites that they aint to be messin with your boy or they'll get it.

If you tell them yourself they'll just pick on him more as revenge.

[map]

[plugger147]

Yes you should teach him to hit back,but not in this particular situation.

If it was my little girl I'd tell her to calmly pick up her stuff and come inside when she saw them coming, explaining to her that it was a situation that was best avoided and not to be scared by it.As you say it's worse when he's not alone and also quite sensative they may be trying to make him cry in front of his friends.


If you want to stop it then try a big dobermann, 110% loyal and no sense of humour.
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Tristan the wrote: just whipped off my trousers to find a big bruise on my arse, caused by matt rear ending me...

[Flip]

[senna_f4]

Mate, you are bringing up your child the right way

Don't lit those chavs ruin what you have done for 6.5 years.

The best thing, from a long term point, is to teach your child the judgement needed to live a better life. Meaning if you are outnumbered pull out , react to the situation, avoid the chavs whenever possible, if the situation is in favour of you child, then be firm. Teach your child how to judge the situation, and behave accordingly.

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"You don't know the power of the dark side."

[Mary Jane]

Your son sounds a lot like mine (same age even). He's pretty sensitive and often gets upset when other kids don't play as nicely as I raised him to.

I'd have to agree with everyone else that if it's a group of boys picking on him, he'd be better to just walk away from the situation, but you may also want to look into possibly some marital arts classes. They have them for chilcren that small, and even if he wont be able to beat the kids, it will give him some self-confidence and discipline, and possibly help him defend himself if the kids get violent.

I have plans to have my son start that in a bit, once he's proven he understands other people's personal space. (that's another issue though)

[Shaun]

Get him a knife, a big one, he'll only need to use it once!

[Visitor Q]

I suppose telling him 'sometimes you need to assert yourself' is better.


If i could do school again id have kicked the teeth in of anyone who ever started on me from a very young age.

But at the same time, im glad ive come out of school with an education and a clean record. Thats a lot more then i can say for the elite from 'my day'.

The popular guys i used to idolise are absolutely nothing now. They aint changed, they are doign shit jobs for crap money and they shag fugly birds.

So i think its important to instill a sense of proportion. Ya know, if they are making you uncomfortable, physically, then a quick smack with a fucking chair leg is good.

School is a warzone these days, and they have to be prepared. The reason chav kids have 'the edge' in these situations is because they get turfed out to fend for themselves, and in doing so getting in rows.

Sheltering your kid will just make it harder when hes in secondary school to be someone.

Best guy i knew from school, a guy called Tim Squires. He was a quiet nerd basically, but he'd been 'let out to play' so to speak. Got on with all his work, universally lvoed by teachers etc.

One day the 'hard kid' gave him some gyp, tim just spins round, grabs him, and smashes his head on the board a few times.

No gloating
No ego
No pretense

Just defence.

Never got anymore hassle from him, ever.

See the main problem is, you dont want to be (say in 10 years time) taking your kid down for his ABH charges. but you dont want him to be introverted at school because he cant hold his head high.

Its tough mate.

Id sit him down and have a big long chat, see how he feels (i know hes young, but youd be suprised how much crap hes probably seen so far) and see if you can get him to logically think what his reactions should be to things.

(sorry for rambling, caned )
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[john2]

as said before get some older kids, maybe a cousin or just an older kid to go and have a 'word' with the little shi*ts that are being nasty to him, that will stop them! or it could make it worse? one or the other!

[Skunkcap Freddie]

show him a few moves, explain to him that if he does get into a fight standing up for himself then its ok,

[m99dws]

[nrml76]

When I was about 7, I was bullied by an older kid at school. He would spray ink on my shirt, stick chewing gum on my hair, and try to get physical. I was very small for my age, and put up with it for months. One day on the playground, while he was trying to beat me up, something snapped within me . I went straight back to the class room, removed the strap from my satchel (an old fashioned canvas strap with a metal buckle), returned to the playground and whipped the living daylights out of him . He ended up with welts on his legs, thighs, back and sides and blood stains on his shirt where the buckle broke his skin. I was hauled into the headmistress office, and had a major telling off. My guardian was called in the next day, but she stood firmly on my side. I was told that if there were any more problems, I would be dismissed. No one ever messed about with me again , but on the downside, everyone feared me and avoided me and I made very few friends in that school.


I'd go with what flip said.

[fire]

ye id say dnt let him become one of them chavs, always out lookin for a row....but teach him to defend himself...

maybe a weekly boxing club or martial arts or sumin couldnt go wrong...that way you can bring him up to stay out of truble..but if he gets into some, he can keep his chin up in a fight, he'd probly get more respect tht way when it comes to secondary skl..

he wont become a power hungry bulley..or become a bulley victim

i always wished i didnt spend my teenage years smokin pot and was a bit stronger

either way..its true what they say..what doesnt kill you makes you stronger
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[Lost_Prophet]

i would recommend a martial art, i did karate, they taught me SELF-DEFENCE, and the values of it, twas very good i did it from the age of 6-16, where i had to give up due to work and college commitments.

It taught me when to cave some ones head in or walk away. as a consequence i have very few enemies and a lot of friends.

Respect can only be earnt, but depends on what you do on whether you receive that respect

because thats ultimatly what your kid needs, im not talking big boy bad ass respect, im talking that they respect him/his stuff and is friends

he does'nt neccersarily need to fight to get this respect.
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[woo]

Cover your back seat & boot of your car with a plastic sheet and throw poo at the offending kids in the boot or the back seat.

Then find the nearest river of poo and throw the pricks in.

Problem solved, repeat the procedure if the parents give you lip!

Im am joking im not very serious about this one!
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[craigie b]

I really would appreciate Siggi's views on this

[mr.z]

Used to get allsorts of hassle at school, i started martial arts (mostly out of boredom) did it for three years before they found out, they were allot more carefull arround me then i can tell ye..

It might be worth it, just be sure he dosn't try useing it till he can give em a good scare or injury

Or give him a fog horn and ear defenders to use if they get too close, that'll get rid of em
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