Dear auntie BCF..

[killa]

I’ve been with my lady for around three years now, so as you can imagine we’re close and so our each others families.
Now in our twenties responsibility and hassle comes your way thick and fast, so much to take in and it seems such little time. Her mum lives with her brother now, she split with her husband years ago because he was a bit of a knob from what I understand.
Liz and her mum are very close, in the last two weeks she told Liz she had some tests and the results are not good, she has a form of lung disease, long term, non curable, it’s not looking good.
Being so close has knocked Liz for six, and as much as I think I can, I can’t help at all, I have no idea what to do, it affects both of us. She told me that she’s what she works hard for and what drives her to go on.
I haven’t yet had some one so close to me disappear, I have no idea how long she’s got, no idea either of what she’s going to got though. As you know, no one wants to see their mum, in pain or in discomfort, but wtf can you do….?

Any comments welcome guys, cheers….
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[byke95]

In short there's not much you can do killa as there's a lot out of your control:

How the mother accepts her illness and moves on, how long the illness will last and what her quality of life will be like while she's ill (lung disease, so are we talking non-operable lung cancer?)

This will have an impact on Liz. If she perceives her mother as strong and eager to enjoy (the rest of?) her life she is more likely to pick up on that and want to enjoy hers.

All you can do is be there, be strong. patient and non-judgemental. Try and keep Liz (possibly both) focused on accepting what is happening but helping them look to what is good (their time left together, the fact they are so close etc.) and the fact that so many others never get to experience their relationship.

This is a very tough but natural part of (modern) life and I'm sure Liz will pull through and move on, she can still find strength in her mother after she is no longer there.

[Visitor Q]

See, now THAT is heavy mate. I feel for you.

I suppose all i can say is try and be there for her, and dont walk on eggshells.

Its something that will at points come up, and if it becomes obvious you are avoiding talking about her mum or such to keep her happy it will most likely upset her.

Why dont you see if theres anything the mother wanted to do, a trip somewhere? See if you can help out with both your gf and her mum going, finance and booking wise.

Im sure you're gf would appreciate it.
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[Adam_P]

Only thing you can do mate is just be there for her. She'll tell you if she needs anything from you at any point, especially if you two are so close too.

She'll want to do things for herself and her mum and the best thing you can probably do is let her get on with them, she'll appreciate you all the more for it.
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[killa]

Thanks for the replies guys, really helped me out.

Such a shitter that it’s like a bloody count down, it means she’ll have to go through the next few years with that always on her mind. She told me that the later stages could mean that she has to move back home for awhile and look after her.
I feel so sorry for her, I think it’s going to affect both of us, I’m just going to take it day by day I think.

Thanks again.

Killa
____________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history