The BCF Top Ten...

[Andy C]

[Wave2k]

TEN has now become about Fifty
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[numark1]

[Steve H]

39. wave2k

'1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. 10 pedantic little tosspots HaHaHaHaHaHa' – Count von Count, Sesame Street, 1976 – the present day

Sesame Street’s Number one fan wave2k loves the Children’s Television Workshop’s most well known export more than life itself. Oscar The Grouch, Grover and Elmo are some of his favourite characters although he saves the colostomy bag for Ernie ‘n Bert ‘cos the puppet double act literally makes him wet himself. Mcauley Culkin lookalike wave was recently refused entry to an 18 certificate film at his local Cinema and cried all the way home although was by comforted by his Gran when she told him that ‘Cocky Monster and Big Bird get it on’ probably wasn’t a Children's Television Worshop Production.
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[veeeffarr]

He's going to do this until he has his 3 blobs, isn't he?

[Steve H]

Nope, that's it - I'm hanging up my boots! In any spare time I have now I find myself thinking of who to put on the sodding list and in no way, shape or form can that be construed as a good thing

Apologies to those I left out and those I chose to persecute
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[impaler]

I think 167 positive post ratings in the last 30 days speaks for itself - possibly the greatest BCF thread ever.

Steve H, I salute you!


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[Mister James]

[Steve H]

Back due to low boredom threshold...

40. feef

Pallindrome fanatic feef can be found on most evenings hidden in the laurel bush outside Bendy's house with his infra red night sights focused on her workshed/bathroom/backside. Asked what he was doing stalking BCF's favourite dungaree clad sex kitten he showed us a tattoo across his back which read 'Harass selfless Sarah'. Recently caught shoplifting in the Italian Cuisine section of Tesco the Police interviewed poor feef after finding pasta sheets shoved down his Y-fronts. His words? 'Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog'

41. Annabella

Russian exchange student Annabella Kristeimeteenagebcfwankmaterialkov is not who she claims to be. A source close to a cleaner who dusts the skirting next door to the building which houses MI5 files has told The TEN that soviet spy 'Bella' is working undercover as a Brownie leader and is close to completing her 'Covertly Export Locations of English Missile Sites to the Highest Bidder' Badge. Her subterfuge? Well she was once a student that studied classical music although when pressed for more information about her shady past Bella remained tight lipped although she did want to make it clear that in a recently published interview by Classical Music Monthly what she ACTUALLY said was that she '...loves nothing more than a long vibrato'

42. markcatate

On the RSPCA's wanted list of the top 5 men in the UK who practice the long lost art of feline cannibalism. 'It is sick..' an RSPCA official said, 'However, to change your name to reflect your lifestyle is pure Evil'. Mr Catate who's kebab shop 'Pussy Galore' was recently closed down by Dunstable Environmential Health Department has been unavailable for comment although he has been seen weeing up against walls, crapping in dirt and covering it over and playing with balls of wool in and around his local community. When approached by the TEN regarding Mr. Catate's unspeakable actions Rolf Harris of BBC's famed Animal Hospital said 'He's as mental as a dingo's donger, Given the opportunity I'd like to shove my didgeridoo up his bastard backside.'
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[tribal_tiger]

Oh bugger he's off again!!

[feef]

[Steve H]

43. Yokogeri

'You put your left leg out your left leg in, out, in and shake your little limb' - The Yoko Geri circa 1955

It was all too late for poor Yokogeri as his long term partner Larry LePrise copyrighted the now infamous Hokey Cokey after they both discussed a party tune that would appeal to all ages and states of drunkeness. History could've been rewritten if, on the fatefull night before they'd both decided to share the song and it's lyrics with Columbia records Yoko had not been met Terry 'Jive' Bunny and had what the landlord of Planet Bollywood, Handsworth described as a 'quicky in the bogs'. LePrise found out, kept the song for himself and left Yoko with the above mentioned second choice lyrics which only took off at paraplegic discoteques. The result? LePrise is now a millionaire with homes in Paris, LA and the Bahamas. Yokogeri lives in a Bedsit above a corner shop in Taunton and does late night stints as a Hospital Radio DJ.
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[dainesefreak]

Sorry Steve mate, only just read as far as me, one word a day ya see.

[TheShaggyDA]

Excellent

Still doing requests?
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[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]

[LustyLew]

[feef]

they are funny, hjowever the first few were very accurate sattires of online personas. the more recent ones seem to be funny for the sake of it, and don't bear much resemblance to the subject.

veyr good writing tho.. should look at scripting some comedy

a
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Mudskipper wrote: feef, that is such a beautiful post that it gave me a lady tingle
Windchill calculator - London Bike parking
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[Steve H]

44. Mementomori

Super Stalker Mori knows more about covert surveillance than James bloody Bond. Doesn’t have a boyfriend at all, in fact what she has got is more ASBO’s than a Mancunian Council Estate. The object of her obsessive affections is ‘Mac’ a 49 year old postal worker from Trafford, happily married for 30 years with 3 kids. Her ‘2 year anniversary’ referred to recently on this very forum is a celebration of the first time Mac called the rozzers on her after she was found kipping naked in his delivery sack for the 13th successive day. Following recent advice from duped BCFers Mentalmori as she has been dubbed by the local Police Force has taken to turning up at Mac’s house in her Birthday suit with a stamp on her bush asking Mac to give her a ‘first class licking’ in return for some ‘frenetic franking’.
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[Steve H]

44. Reuben

Please don’t PM me photo’s of yourself ladies and gents, I'm a happily married man – What do you think I’m gonna do with them?

https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a231/steveqpr/reuben0sk.jpg

With the aid of her Specialized Masturbating Gloves Molly Ringwald desperately searches for the correct aperture in order for her to get a snap of the website url for her Internet Porn Collection.
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Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[killa]

There can't be anything left in that barrel Steve

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[Steve H]

[dainesefreak]

You've burnt yourself out. Check into the nearest Looney Bin, take lots of Diazepam and drink plenty of Tizer. You'll be right as rain in no time.

[Dark]

Absolute class, worth the read
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[ram_doom]

Totally loved those
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[iCraig]

Excellent thread Steve!

I spat my Carlsberg out all over my keyboard!

[tribal_tiger]

Over 17,000 registered users.

You better suck it up and keep on going!
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All of it.