Forum stuff

G · The Voice of Reason Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

* For the record, I was hoping that this thread would stay mainly on the topic - namely the question I posed below. *
I was very foolishly naieve, I apologise.

suzi_bandit · Traffic Copper Joined: 21 Jul 2005 Karma :

Yeah. It's acceptable.

Give the fuckers a taste of their own medicine. After all, it's only the internet, nobody gets hurt! If the forums aren't moderated to a decent standard then what other option is there?

How do you suggest a bully should be treated in order for them to change their pathetic, moronic ways?

Edit...

Bully a person who hurts, persecutes or intimidates weaker people.
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Mister James · I want to believe! Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Karma :

Dragonfly · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :

To bully a bully is not right in itself as you then become a bully. Its not on either way. I hate seeing people getting bullied outside the internet and do not tolerate it. If one of my mates was being bullied i would smack the face of the person who was doing it and put them in their box, and thats the truth, not the way to handle it though.

Internet bullying is cowardly, the bully i not likely to come up to my face and say what he said online as a smack in the mouth would soon ensue along with my fiery temper.

Best way to deal with these people is to ban them from the site like the rules state they should be, that way the site will not have a bad reputation and the good people will not have left.

Its funny because the person causing the bulling would be some young adolesent kid who has issues in life and has to take his agression out somewhere on someone. The others wold just be dragged up and not brought up right.

JonB · Afraid of Mileage Joined: 03 Jun 2004 Karma :

But can people accept that what is said is behind the computer screen therefore perhaps people don't entirely mean what they have put non the screen and I think most people can confess to saying things, both online and in real life what they don't really mean. Like the spur of the moment.

It comes up every year, the age old discussion of interpretation on the internet, now if some on a forum says "You cunt Razz

" Is that as insulting as "You cunt Middle Finger

"?

It's all context and like Luke's comment yesterday, I took it as a flagrant joke and as abhorrent as it would be to say that and mean it, I think a general understanding amongst many quarters saw it purely as a joke.

Of course, Internet bullies do exist, but i'm not sure they can co-exist in a forum, unless it boils down to personal threats on a Private message level and then obtaining personal information and going round, to stalk or taunt them.

The Internet is a place where you can truly ignore what people say if you want too, so if you feel victimised at the end of the day you are in a safe environment where once that computer is switched off you can concentrate on more important things in life. Like Big Brother. Rolling Eyes

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Clanger · Stirrer Joined: 27 May 2004 Karma :

No it isnt right.

But thats what I thought moderators were there for, to stop this from happening...not adding fuel to the fire!

If the moderators sit there, seemingly doing nothing, then surely people who feel the original victim isnt getting any support, therefore need to voice their opinions, and stick up for original victim.

But if the bully thinks that they arent actually bullying anyone on the forum, then they wont feel that they are being bullied in return, so this then renders this entire post pointless....as noone is being bullied, right?
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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

syl · World Chat Champion Joined: 05 Dec 2005 Karma :

Chuff · Nova Slayer Joined: 08 Sep 2005 Karma :

its amazing how so many names have been used here, was that the idea G or was it a general post ? Question

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akaDAVE · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 Sep 2005 Karma :

I think bullying by definition is never justified, it simply creates another bully.
In a real life situation I'm not adverse to a bit of quick retaliation to put someone in thier place. That usually addresses the situation and asserts boundaries.
On the internet? I'm not sure who judges who the bully is.
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Dragonfly · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

Laura · Playboy Bunny Joined: 28 Jul 2003 Karma :

Indeed it was being discused sensibly.

I think fighting fire with fire never works in the long run. Maybe for a while but I think if you give no reaction people get bored and will leave it alone.

Its the car accident on the road scenario one person will slow down for a look so everyone does.
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Dragonfly · Super Spammer Joined: 05 Sep 2005 Karma :

Rookie · World Chat Champion Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Karma :

'Internet Bullying' as I know it isn't serious enough that the person will be persuaded otherwise by someone calling them names in retaliation. If someone chooses to bully on a forum, they're not contributing to the forum in a meaningful way, so they're not going to be swayed by some abuse; in fact it would most likely get them going.

Internet Bullying is such a ridiculous idea; without meeting a person you can't put judgment on them and you can't have an informed opinion of them. As such, any bullying that goes on is most likely purely for the doers enjoyment, and not for the receivers' misery. It's getting a rise out of people that they want. Put simply, it's just Trolling.

If someone's being a so-called Internet Bully, then the easiest and simplest option would be to set them to enemy or just ignore their posts when they're doing so. And if it persists, an IP ban.

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

plugger147 · World Chat Champion Joined: 13 Mar 2005 Karma :

A bully is someone who makes your life any less enjoyable than it would be if they weren't there and gets pleasure/enjoyment from it.

If someone repeatedly makes attempts to stop you from posting somewhere you enjoy posting then they are an internet bully.

It's easy to say if you don't like me set me as an enemy (get great mileage for that), if you don't like them why haven't you already set them as enemy?
It's not really bullying back if you give them a slap everytime they try it on but if you start having a go everytime your paths cross then it becomes unexceptable.
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colin1 · Captain Safety Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :

In the past I have seen different people be picked on in turn.

There is sometimes some grain of truth in the criticsm of the individual but this is raised to a level where its more about entertainment than truth. Then other people join in as its a bit of fun. Then the target might lose their cool and start saying silly things making it even more fun for the others.

Occasionally one or two people will try to step in and calm things down.

I think it would be good if most people felt like calming things down and defusing the situation rather than escalating it.

Its a drip drip effect. Each little knock shouldnt be much of a big deal, but if someone gets a lot, they can break or feel like they are breaking.

Ultimately thats what the bullys want. They want things to be the way they want. For the person to either conform, lie low or go away. So in some ways the internet bully thinks they are acting in the interests of the group to keep bcf as it should be. However this is usually such a narrow interpretation of what bcf should be that its a bit misguided.

I dont think you can bully an internet bully as they feel comfortable and secure in their environment and they have a gang of people who like them for support. If they ever have a bit of self doubt, they will ask for reassurance that they arent really a bad guy and its just a bit of fun and they will be ok again.

So probably the best way to deal with someone getting bullied is to pm a few words of support to the victim so they get a similar support network feeling that the bully has. Ive done it three times and even if they didnt all think it was needed, its nice to have a kind word instead of thinking the whole forum is against you (even if maybe they are ). There are a few other times, I probably should have done it too, but I didnt.

In some ways the karma system should encourage good behaviour and it does encourage good behaviour, but if people behave badly and they dont think they are behaving badly, they will just return bad karma. Tit for tat style.

But the bullys must care a bit about karma as for a while there were a few fake bcf identities created with the sole purpose of going around being provocative.

In some ways I'm glad that mods dont really get involved, because I would prefer to have to take a bit of abuse than be banned for disagreeing with a mod. That happens a lot on gaming servers.

Another thing is that for some of posters who lean more towards internet bullying, if you took that away, they would lose part of their net identity and they wouldnt have much to post. I have seen a few make a real effort though so it shows it can be done.

I dont think anyone on here is all bad, which is good i guess and maybe with the people i think of as all good, I just havent met their bad side yet Smile

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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

People really need to stop taking things quite so seriously. Laughing

Laura · Playboy Bunny Joined: 28 Jul 2003 Karma :

BCF Support pool what next.

If you feel so low you need a support pool behind you phne the samaritans.

As most the blokes on hre looking at it as a chance to get in your pants;D Hey colin ;D
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Good girls ride motorcycles bad girls thrash them.

akaDAVE · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 Sep 2005 Karma :

instigator · Super Spammer Joined: 19 Oct 2004 Karma :

bazza · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Aug 2004 Karma :

T1Cybernetic · Nitrous Nuisance Joined: 08 Jul 2006 Karma :

Mostly

you should "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you"
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G · The Voice of Reason Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

The intention was not for names to be used, but I did expect it.

The intention was also not for rants about people's view on the situation.

Reading the previous thread, my thought process went something along the lines of ...
- Well, everyone seems to be doing the same thing to each other.
- Does that mean they think it's ok to do what they are criticising if they are doing it to some one that has done it before.
(And isn't this a self perpetuating cycle?)
- What if the person bullying has previously bullied other people with out retribution, does that make them a fair target (as there have been plenty of other little 'quips' mentioned in other threads, it seems).