How long

[plugger147]

I don't normally post shit but I've been thinking about an issue I haven't dealt with for a long time. My sister was married to a guy who I was good friends with and it ended up going sour, he wasn't pyhsical with her in anyway but he did become unstable and quite a twat towards her verbally. They did have a big bust up and he freaked her out quite a bit, the night my daughter was born I saw her at my mothers house and went out looking for him looking for blood(although he'd have proberly killed me) that was nearly 8 years ago. He has however been a good father to my nephew who has asked me about stuff me and his dad did before the split and I'm fucked if I know if it's just his dad trying to get brownie points or if he was really a friend who fucked up.It's really starting to bug me as my daughter and my nephew are getting along real well and he keeps asking me stuff.

What do I do? I still want to cause him some damage for what he did to my sister but I think I could help him with some of the problems my nephew has (dyslexia and adhd). I feel like if I talk to him I'd be betraying my sister but if I don't he's never going to understand how his son feels.
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Tristan the wrote: just whipped off my trousers to find a big bruise on my arse, caused by matt rear ending me...

[lozzypop1]

We're all human, we all make mistakes (sometimes big ones)
Personal opinion is that children don't ask to be brought into the world, so while they are here we should look after them.
Were it me, I'd be inclined to put my nephew first,. speak to his father (and bite my tongue) for the lad's sake.
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Funny, I used to hate being spanked as a child!
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand.

[colin1]

Things went sour between them, you obviously took your sisters side, but he may have had good reason to get a bit unstable at the time.

i didnt really understand this bit tho

"He has however been a good father to my nephew who has asked me about stuff me and his dad did before the split and I'm fucked if I know if it's just his dad trying to get brownie points or if he was really a friend who fucked up."

I dont see how you would be betraying your sister if you are helping her son by talking to the dad. Maybe get her to ok it first.

You dont know the full story of what happened between him and your sister, so you can remember that and it might ease your animosity towards him.

From spending time working in a school, id say the kind of kids who are easily distracted and get diagnosed with things like adhd, often have unsettled home lives, so the more settled things become between your sister and your former mate, the better.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[Pte1643]

For what it's worth (probably not much!), I agree with Loz and Colin.

If you feel you can help your nephew, then surely it's in his best interests for you to try. But best sound it out with your Sister first, you don't want to start a fued with her, she may feel that your interefering.
It'll be hard contacting your (ex) friend, after what's gone on in the past, just try to keep your cool, if for nothing else, your nephews sake.

Good luck.

[Mary Jane]

It's not your place to tell your nephew what went on between his mom and dad. That's up to them to decide how much to tell.

If your nephew is just asking about stuff you and his dad did together, i guess that would be ok to talk about, since it involved you, but please try to avoind painting his dad in too bad a light. Little boys adore their fathers, and if his dad is truly an ass, he'll see it eventually.

Just becuase your sister's ex was an ass at one point doesn't mean you can't be civil to him and have a conversation about his son.

[bob a]

All good advice, we can all make mistakes and takes sides of others, that is never an easy thing to do as normally it takes two (not all the time)

You have shown good support to your sister, she knows that. I ma sure she would not want you to start digging up the past by causing trouble.

Go and talk to the guy, let him bring up the past then tell him how it made you feel, without getting physical.

It will all sort itself out if you let it. It is all to easy to increase the drift and regret it later.

Life is too short mate.

[Handsome]

[plugger147]

Thank's for all your advice peeps, I'm gonna wait til my sis gets back off holiday and see how she feels about it. I think she'll be ok with it. I suppose I was gonna do it anyway but thanks again for all your comments I just wanted to double check that it'd be the right thing to do.
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Tristan the wrote: just whipped off my trousers to find a big bruise on my arse, caused by matt rear ending me...

[Handsome]

Hope it all works out for you mate... ...And I'm sure it will...
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